The Persistence of Memory

Once again I remember why I ceased to listen any music in last autumn. Because it hurt so much, everything reminded me of someone I knew I'd never have in my life for real, even I had to live in hope out of love for him.

Alegría is not a sad song, but it brings tears to my eyes. It reminds me of the happiness I (/we) had (not so long ago), it reminds me everything I (/we) lost. It reminds me of love I was able to feel, an the courage it gave me.
And I can't get one sentence out of my mind: "When will my dear Princess cry her cute eyes out because of me?"

On a less teary note: I was actually thinking connection between music and memories last night when I was listening Pain Of Salvation.
Second Love is song which connects to two different individuals in my personal history. Sonnenschein introduced that song to me, and Wolfie... well, listens PoS too.
I've always loved that song because of its melancholy, because of the lost love and the pain it brings.

Lost love has always attracted me, maybe that is why I seem to be unable to have steady relationship with anyone. Maybe my unconscious self is driven by melancholy and sorrow, maybe I'm not meant for lasting happiness.
It might explain my love for black, it might explain my attraction towards horror and darker side of human mind. I get my satisfaction from there where it feels like home...

But I digress...

Every time I hear Undertow I have the same image in my mind... His phone waking him up in the morning with that tune. It's sunny outside, I lay on my (right) side, wrapped in blanket and I see that phone (orange and white) on the chest of drawers. I even remember the scent of that room...

Love is frail, but memories are persistent. And sometimes memories give you strength, sometimes they make you want to bury yourself under blankets and never come out.
Actually I'd like to bury myself in someone's arms at the moment and just be there. But it's just me and cats - and the music. Some day I can listen this song with smile on my face, but that day is not this one.