Tuesday 30 March 2010

Let Me Introduce You... Mrs. Wonderful!


Some of you already know it through Facebook, those of you who didn't know: Yes, you read it right! We are now officially Mr. and Mrs. Wonderful. ^^

It was a very small, but beautiful, ceremony last Friday, just the two of us, the registrar and two witnesses from the magistrate.

To the shock and awe of everyone who know me I took Husband's surname after my vows of *never* taking my husband's name... but my brain told differently.
We had discussed my surname when we got engaged and I was SO keeping my maiden name, until I noticed at work that I was continuously about >this< close to sign things with Husband's surname... and then, one day after coming home from work I told Him that it seems that I am taking His surname anyway (and it is much more convenient if we look at the bigger picture (and much more rare in here than my maiden name *grin*)).

This also leads to shocking revelation of us having been engaged to be married since 29th of March last year until last Friday, and I didn't tell you (ok, some of you did kind of knew)! Shame on me. *grin*

It's funny how I remember almost nothing about the ceremony itself, but am still aware that when the registrar asked Husband will He take me as His wedded wife He said most beautiful things ever - simple yes would have been extremely beautiful in that situation, but He took it further. I was all smiling yello, wobbling and smiling, and my answer was simply "Absolutely yes!".

Gosh, it was SO wonderful.

And for some reason it seems to me that getting married really improved our relationship in so many ways. Funny, but great - apparently there is better form of great and we just have gotten into it. Which I do not oppose at all, just keep wondering how sweet life can be sometimes.

Tuesday 23 March 2010

Writer's Block: Another sleepless night

Let's say that I used to suffer from insomnia as I do no count one or two days of not being able to sleep well/ long enough as insomnia anymore.

I have always had somewhat odd sleeping rhythm, which probably runs in the family, and it took me years before I actually realised that it is not normal, or let's say preferred.

For me sleeping medication does not work how it should work so it has not been an option since the first and only time I tried such remedy: within two weeks I couldn't sleep even with the next-to-overdose dosage which made my insomnia even worse. After some time I decided to go cold turkey (even the doctor who prescribed me with them said they do not cause any side effects or any addiction - like I believed anyone?) and practically stayed awake for one week with only very short nap (we are talking anything up to 45 minutes or so here) every night before the medicine left the building.

I have "suffered" insomnia even after that, it happens to me for reason or tenth: latest periods of insomnia were when Mr. Wonderful was in Spain. Since then I have had two nights when I had difficulties to fall asleep, but those were caused by hurting ankle (I was told yesterday that it takes six weeks for it to heal properly) and overdose of paracetamol (1500mg/day whereas you are allowed to take 3000mg/day, but my body is little different..).

I don't know are they much of remedies, but what has helped me to get sleep have been the following things:

  1. Black Adder, seasons I-IV
  2. Rooibos
  3. Yes, Minister; seasons I-III
  4. Yes, Prime Minister; seasons I-II
  5. The Men from the Ministry, Finnish version
  6. Music
Honestly.

To certain extent insomnia is a matter of attitude and habit, in other words I have noticed it gets easier to live with the older I get. I can go to work without sleeping at all during the night and nobody notices (it's good to be naturally confused ).
The main thing with insomnia is not to stress too much about it, no matter how harsh it sounds.

Friday 12 March 2010

Writer's Block: Kids or child-free?

  1. First of all I, being blue meanie and everything, find the term "choose to have children" disturbing as whether you have children or not in the end is basically something you can not choose (as you never know are you physically able to have them even if you want them, right? Nor you can prevent yourself getting pregnant/ making someone pregnant by "accident" as that does happen - it also happens that people don't notice things early etc., you get my point).
    Personally I see children as an extremely precious gift and I wish and pray to have them.

    I realized that I would do anything to have children when I was 18 and got PCOS diagnose and the doctor basically told me that PCOS women can't get pregnant naturally, or any other way (neither of them true) - before that I had never even thought about having or not having children (like I never actually thought of getting married before I was proposed when I was 19 - my ex and I were engaged, but I never thought that I would marry him some day. I guess you could say now that it tells more than I would like to admit about my subconscious mind back then *grin*).

  2. Honestly... IF you are in a relationship you do NOT decide something like that yourself. Basically such thing should, in an adult relationship, be decided as early in the relationship as possible by both parties.

    When it comes to us it was obvious for both of us from the beginning of things that we want to have children and this was therefore decided before we even got into a relationship.

Friday 5 March 2010

Writer's Block: Raining cats or dogs?

My regular readers know it already, but I would say that I am 99,9% cat person and 0,01% dog person.

I have met some nice (and non-smelly) dogs during my life, I was especially fond of ex-husband's sister's dog: he was kind, he did not smell like so many dogs do (sorry dog people, but they do) and he was a dog-sized dog (not too small, not too big).

Dan and I watched after The Dog at one point for a week and I really enjoyed it. Though, it was rather I who watched after The Dog, took him to his walks and everything. At that point I was doing night shifts and even I was extremely annoyed with Dan not waking up in the morning (it was 9 am when I got home and he was sound asleep... even when I tried to wake him up to take The Dog out and let me sleep (note that he was not working (actually he hasn't actually worked a day in his life even now, as far as I know))) and taking The Dog out I enjoyed immensely those long morning walks with it.

But, still I am a cat person, which probably explains why I had four of them not-so-long-ago.
Why? Cats are usually very neat, relaxed and don't demand long walks three times a day even if there is the worst snow storm out there. They are also annoyingly sweet with their bouts of jumping on walls and wanting to be petted at that very moment when you have something important to do.
Cats are loyal thinkers, who don't demand too much of you (usually - and Her Highness was Siamese so she does not count) and love you in their own personal, yet devoted ways.

Life is never boring with cats in the house.

I am not a roommate type anyway so I wouldn't consider someone who doesn't like cats as a roommate. Basically my fondness of being on my own if I am not in a relationship has kept me from that problem.

When it comes to partner... Well, I admit that cats moved away when Mr. Wonderful moved here even I had swore to myself that no man comes between me and my cats... Well, basically He didn't, boys still seems to like me:

(
This was taken when I was tending the boys when my mom was at her cabin in the end of February - admittedly it was bit difficult to tend the cats properly with sprained ankle)

I wouldn't say that He doesn't like cats, He is just not used to have animals living in the house. This is, I would say, the biggest cultural difference, to this date, we have actually confronted.


Are any of you surprised when I tell that I haven't been able to sleep too well?

Good, neither am I.

Are any of you surprised that because of this I also managed to break the frame of my glasses? Yes, ouch. (Admittedly they are old: 7-8 years for all-plastic frame is quite well, I would say.)
Luckily we have super glue: it doesn't look pretty, but I am able to see before our visit to Helsinki and maybe even during the time when I am waiting for new glasses (thank G-d for el cheapo optician chains, with luck new ones are only 29€).

My mom could have said this!

"When you meet someone who can cook and do housework don't hesitate a minute: marry him!"
-- Unknown

(And I am lucky to have such a gem in my life. ^^)

Talking of housework, this ankle thing has given a completely new meaning to word accomplish: plain hoovering most of the apartment and wiping living room floor feels like a huge achievement.
And The Ankle Thing also gives a great reason to sprawl on the sofa for ages after doing something: must not strain my poor ankle too much.

Too bad I got addicted to Harry Potter books again so I have been reading the series through instead of stitching...

Tuesday 2 March 2010

\o/


His plane lands on Saturday 6 am.

I just hope and pray that the current strike affecting transportation and logistics doesn't affect airports too badly...

([info]strangeglitter , your comment was deleted by mistake - who would have imagined that you can delete the actual comment from your inbox when trying to just remove the notification message from the inbox? O.o)

 

Monday 1 March 2010

Writer's Block: Marital license



 

Marrige licence does indeed have an expiration date, at least in my neck of woods (4 months), whereas marriage certificate doesn't. (I am aware that this is a tomato vs. tomato thing, but still... you know that I am pedantic when I feel like it.)

Taking that we are really talking of marriage certificate, that piece of paper you are given when getting married (opposed to the licence which, at least in here, is written after non-impediment check and (in non-dominational weddings) given to the registrar (or to the couple to be given to the registrar upon marrying) - without that piece of paper you are not able to marry) my personal opinion is: absolutely not.

Despite being divorced I do firmly believe that you get married for a lifetime and if my fiance would ever suggest periodic marriage contract I would frown and run away fast. (Though this is completely theoretic as we share views about marriage.)

It is possible that that kind of contracts are suitable or at least acceptable to some people I find even thought of such a setting too stressful for my person and degrading the institution of marriage.
As I see it periodic marriage contract is basically saying that divorce is always an option and that it is likely for the marriage to end. Why work for something you can end within X months anyway? What if you are just having a bad phase in your relationship when the renewal date is and you decide not to renew your marriage even it had all the makings for a happy, lifelong committment?

Marriage does take much more than just love and in my opinion periodic marriage would just base on the idea of love and nothing else. And the difficult thing here is that love fluctuates: there are days when you really don't have that loving feeling, but after a while you can be like two newlyweds. Love is a form of energy and sometimes its batteries needs to be recharged.

I could also say that I do not believe in divorce... I am not holier than thou, I have divorced and I have never been ashamed of that (even many people still find it odd that I am "this young" and already divorced - guess how it was when I was still 25 and recent divorcee *grin*), but when I got married (at the age of 19) I was in for if for a lifetime, but being young and stupid marrying another young and stupid who was unwilling to grow up and lacked consistency there eventually was no other option for me then. It was either that or dying young out of stress. And I wanted to give my possible children a good father, not one of those I had.

So, in case it wasn't clear: I do not think that there should be expiration or renewal date in your marriage certificate.