Writer's Block: Another sleepless night

Let's say that I used to suffer from insomnia as I do no count one or two days of not being able to sleep well/ long enough as insomnia anymore.

I have always had somewhat odd sleeping rhythm, which probably runs in the family, and it took me years before I actually realised that it is not normal, or let's say preferred.

For me sleeping medication does not work how it should work so it has not been an option since the first and only time I tried such remedy: within two weeks I couldn't sleep even with the next-to-overdose dosage which made my insomnia even worse. After some time I decided to go cold turkey (even the doctor who prescribed me with them said they do not cause any side effects or any addiction - like I believed anyone?) and practically stayed awake for one week with only very short nap (we are talking anything up to 45 minutes or so here) every night before the medicine left the building.

I have "suffered" insomnia even after that, it happens to me for reason or tenth: latest periods of insomnia were when Mr. Wonderful was in Spain. Since then I have had two nights when I had difficulties to fall asleep, but those were caused by hurting ankle (I was told yesterday that it takes six weeks for it to heal properly) and overdose of paracetamol (1500mg/day whereas you are allowed to take 3000mg/day, but my body is little different..).

I don't know are they much of remedies, but what has helped me to get sleep have been the following things:

1. Black Adder, seasons I-IV
2. Rooibos
3. Yes, Minister; seasons I-III
4. Yes, Prime Minister; seasons I-II
5. The Men from the Ministry, Finnish version
6. Music

Honestly.

To certain extent insomnia is a matter of attitude and habit, in other words I have noticed it gets easier to live with the older I get. I can go to work without sleeping at all during the night and nobody notices (it's good to be naturally confused ).
The main thing with insomnia is not to stress too much about it, no matter how harsh it sounds.

I need some sleep...

Since Mr. Wonderful traveled the quality of my sleep has been disgraceful. I do sleep normally, but I wake up several times every night and even when I sleep it is apparently "dog sleep" (Finns call it that) and therefore I am getting exhausted as I have got used to sleeping well during last five months (He just happens to be a great sleeping draught)... And yesterday that lack of decent sleep struck me in form of a Migraine of The Millennia: my head hurt like h**l, I was tired, nauseated and... everything I ate or drank came out within fifteen minutes. Sometimes my body seemed to make me vomit out of having fun. Basically my day contained sleeping, vomiting, sleeping and some more vomiting... Luckily Mr. Wonderful sent me sweet text messages so it wasn't as bad as it could have been (being called precious pearl and gem kind of makes you feel good no matter how bad you are feeling ).

Today I still feel nauseated and my head hurts and I have a feeling that I may actually have to go to see a doctor tomorrow and try to get 2-3 days of sick leave just to recuperate from yesterday as I have never ever had migraine even close to this and I don't think it would be smart move to go to work when I am still having the migraine in form or another.

Talking of colours...

Remember what I said about colours? "In The Arms of an Angel" by Lavender and Lace is a great example about this phenomena: I simply love the colours in this design (though whenever I stitch this it is very likely that I will convert the skin tone and hair of the angel - or at least of the child - into more mixed) and I must get it! (My wish list at 1-2-3 Stitch! is getting really long, one day I will crash their server with it... )

Some sweet stash...

I actually think that I may already have that seasonal santa, but there's always way to get rid of it in case I do (I'm planning to gather all my excess stash, create an album to my Ovi account and sell them - but that is within next five years or so *grin*).

I thought the 20 hours sleeping marathon was long...
Have you ever tried to sleep most of 36 hours? I can say that it was an interesting experience, though it was better to sleep through the migraine than be awake through it...
I just hope the next dosage rise (should be done in Monday) won't cause similar effect.

Excercising

I suggested to my parents that, now that my body seems to be getting wonkier health wise, they would support my healthier lifestyle by giving a crosstrainer for me as a birthday gift.
My mother decided to buy of all the gifts for the next year and bought me this on her own. (I will get it around May, when bits_2_whole has access to our father's car next time.)

Now I have no excuse to excercise daily as there isn't too much pollen or too cold indoors.

And some stitchy content with SBQ

Happy dance №7

And as shocking it is I may have the designs ready to be emailed to Jenna day after tomorrow latest... O_o (Remember, the next launch is in Valentine's Day!)

And I still suffer from insomnia caused by creative activity, no matter how much I wanted to sleep - and it shows in my peak flows, last two mornings have been bad in comparison to the previous week. I wouldn't wonder if the doctor would want to check my medication and either up the dosage or change the cortisone completely.
Though, last night's streak was quite a pleasant one (started from one tiny motif I had in my head and evolved to a pile of sketches).

But to the regularly scheduled memesy: this week's

Stitching Bloggers' Question

was suggested by Kathryn and is:

Are there other crafts that you have tried and abandoned? Why do you like stitching better?

I used to be a knitter in my teens and I actually wanted to become a knitted garment designer when I was young. (Well, I became an artisan of textile designing and manufacturing, but majored in weaves and weaving techniques, and ten years later begun to use my skills for good in form of cross stitch designing...)
Nowadays my issue with knitting is that... I have became very easily bored and I always had issues with not being able to make anything too detailed with knitting needles, no matter how small.
In theory I do still like knitting and would like to do it more often, but those tiny crosses just seem to be more suitable to my anal character...

Unconscious mutterings and sleeping too much

Week 242

I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Singles :: People
2. Blaze :: Cartoon
3. Sandwich :: Earl of Sandwich
4. Outside :: Inside
5. Gooey :: Yummy
6. Industry :: Work
7. Exclusive :: Designs
8. Warranty :: Expires
9. Magical :: The Magic Mushrooms
10. Heels :: High

Life in general....

How has my weekend been?
To describe it with one word, and one word only: sleepy (or rather comatosed).
I slept 24 hours between Friday 6 PM and Saturday 9 PM (yes, that makes it 24 hours within 27 hours).

I never sleep that much unless I am sick. But I am not sure was I as or was it just all about the Budesonide: I had sore throat in Friday (which lead me to digest full box of "throat candy" (you know, menthol and such, relieves throat pain)), but it could have been caused by either having a cold or Budesonide.
I had unstable body temperature in Friday and in Saturday, which could have been caused by either one (because my outer body temperature is getting back to normal, after being way low for few months).

One of the possible reasons is my unusual reaction to cortisone (and its derivatives): it should cause mania, but relaxes me and makes me sleep like a baby... this time it really seems to make me sleep like a baby....

And of course sleeping too much caused a headache, which had to be cured by... you know where I am getting to with this... sleeping some more. Which means that I have spent 33 hours of last 41 sleeping...

Unconscious mutterings - and surname in Google

Week 235

I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Voices :: Hearing
2. Have to :: Must
3. Machine :: Sewing
4. Seventh grade :: 13
5. Beach :: Sand
6. Roommate :: Annoyance
7. Cyclone :: Wind
8. Theater :: Dream Theater
9. Pregnant :: Gravid
10. Phoebe :: Friends

Images...

Once again I played with Google's image search, this once with my surname and found a picture which made a great avatar (elsewhewre) - even it is yellow: Peri.

Repetitio est mater studiorum etc.:

"In Persian mythology, Peris (in Persian پری Pari) are descended from fallen angels who have been denied paradise until they have done penance. In earlier sources they are described as agents of evil; later, they are benevolent.
They are beautiful, exquisite winged, fairy-like creature ranking between angels and evil spirits who sometimes visit the realm of mortals.
In Indian Mythology Pari is the equivalent of a fairy.
Also, a common Turkish name for women in the form of Perihan, meaning queen of the fairies or Peri, meaning fairy." (From what I have heard it also stands for "extraordinary" woman (in Hindi) and a beautiful woman (in Turkish) - and, "of course", I know that it stands for fruit in Hebrew.))

Call me an angel or consider me as a demon, you are never wrong...

Asthma attacks

If I hate something it's having an asthma attack while sleeping... How I know I have them if I sleep? They come into my dreams, though nowadays my Salbutamol discus is also in my dreams, but nevertheless I don't enjoy breathing problems when I am awake nor when I am sleeping. EVen less when I am sleeping as it means that I will wake up tired... and I should clean and do the laundry and pack my things and all that...

The New Dawn: 1493.

One thing is for certain: I can't sleep well if I am going somewhere in the morning... Anyway, this is what I see from my balcony just now (I admit, the colours are a bit modified...):

Yawn

After 18 hours of sleep (after being awake 26 hours) one almost feels like a human being again. And adds ability to sleep on the list of Advantages of what-ever-drug they gave me at spirometry (even though I got an allergic reaction from it).
And I got another reason to dislike that GP. I spesifically said to him that I can not use medication with any kind of starch in them and this bright fellow prescribed me medicine which has... corn starch, my worst enemy.
I know that corn allergy isn't one of the common ones, but you could imagine that a doctor would believe the patient noticing that he does not know me. I can take it if our regular Jane and John Does don't understand that I really am allergic and don't choose what I put in my mouth just to be nasty, but this guy is an actual doctor... When it comes to Ventolin(e) either the dose could be bigger or I have to learn the finesses of discus, but at least I got no symptoms from it (unlike from Nasonex, my eyes are itching - known side-effect) and it's nice to breathe freely again.

Anyway, retail therapy... I stumbled upon fabric sale and came home with two plastic bags full of fabric (click the thumbnail as usual):

 

My reason to go into a fabric store was that little tan piece on the upper right, as I need it for model's lining. Others... well, they just wanted to come with me.
The blues on upper left were the expensive ones, but I couldn't leave them there... rest of the fabrics in the big picture were in One bag full of fabrics only for 10€ sale so I just picked up everything I thought could be useful for me or my mother. (That white webbed fabric for example will end up in dye pot and after that I will sew couple of airy home tops. Those flowery fabrics end up serve my shirt demo - and rest of them... who knows, they would be great curtains, for someone who likes lighter shades (like my mother).

That ant fabric (who could resist a black fabric with metallic red ants on it?! Even less when it was in One bag full of fabrics only for 10€ sale...)) will probably end up being something more comfortable, I actually can see it as a dressing gown, and there's so much of that fabric that rest will probably end up being nice, short, "airy" nightie... just to have a matching set, you know. *grin*

And the books: 'Dictionary of Jewish Biography' ($43.80?! I paid $16.5... and mine was bought from a Finnish store and they had to order it for me (odd thing for a sale book, don't you think?)) and 'Hand-stitched Boxes' ("List Price: $24.95", I paid ~$10, and this one had to be specially ordered too).
I have to say that based on short browse that box book is really worth those 7 euros it was in sale. Imagine book filled with instructions for several dirrently shaped and sized boxes made of fabric and there's instructions even to those beautiful sewing cube boxes I have been drooling all over 'net.

Dreams

Geeky, hidden HD and other things

Damdidam.
Another teaser...

Something more to my May launch. Something a bit... well, your inner geeks will love it.
Even my mom did and that is so far out of her range.

To dream, to heal?

Night before last I had a dream of a guy I once loved (as much as teen can love, nowadays I'd call it just a huge crush.... anyway) and his younger brother, who actually was a friend of mine aeons ago.
His (younger) brother was just a decoration in that dream though, for some reason the dream concentrated on me and this guy talking about something. I can't even recall what it was (only things I can recall were that, for some insane reason, we were in their country of origin and we were eating something Asianish, but not what you'd think it'd been in said country (the thing is that their native cuisine is too sweet to my taste and that wasn't sweet)), but I felt rejuvenated, cleansed, because of that dream.

This cleansing feeling continues and my dreams keep getting... well, if I say more normal, in sense of having dreams where I have a crush/ fall in love. I really liked sitting on someone dear's lap and kissing him, even he was just a dream.
As that is what I miss. Being close to that someone, having those butterflies in my stomach... one misses her pink clouds too.

They say pictures don't lie...

Firstly, let me remind that I have blue eyes. Then look at this, concentrate on the eyes. Your verdict? Same as mine? Brown.

Nggggggh...

I so love this... not.
Because I am not allowed to take my allergy meds my body has begun to misbehave. My muscles ache, my back aches, one part of my right foot has lost its tactile sense, I itch, I am restless (that is more restless than normally), my skin is becoming spotty... All this just because I am not allowed to take my antihistamines.

It took three hours from me to fall asleep last night because of all this (even I was extremely tired), which means that I have slept whopping 2½ hours. I feel like... you know.

/me wants her Xyzal...

Saga of PayPal...

...continues.
Part N: their site contains inaccurate information. PayPal account's owner and the owner of the bank account you withdraw funds to don't have to be same person/ institution (at least when you transfer to a Finnish bank).
I transferred money to my mother about two weeks ago, and now, when she came back from her cottage, she said that my transfer had got through (I used her credit card at Sewandso (as they don't have PayPal option) to buy some fabric and things for PD).

So, in the end that downgrade was unnecessary.

In general: isn't life a ball? (And SAT update will follow after I get back from the hospital.)

Clip, clip, clip...

Not that I actually could afford to do so (I have all sorts of nasty expenses in this month - for example I had to buy new case fans for my desktop's case because old ones have an identity disorder: they think they are circular saws (I'd have survived otherwise without using the desktop, but I want my music!))... I had a haircut, and, gosh, I feel good. I have just let my hair grow and as I haven't had any problems with it I haven't bothered to get my hair cut (and as I haven't been on a date... since November (if we can count harassing N. as a date) *yikes* I haven't had any reason). But now, when it was hanging on my shoulders it got a bit nasty. It actually looked rather good, due my hair's natural waviness, but still... it was hot! I may have glass-like hair (great thing: I have split ends once in a blue moon, if even then), but I have lots of that stuff (but as we agreed with my hairdresser, it is better to have what to remove as other option wouldn't be as nice or easy to handle). Which means that I am much more of a short haired person. (And even more a purple haired person. Though I like how my hair looks now: otherwise dirty blonde (interesting shade actually: dirty strawberry blonde with hint of gold), but tips of my hair are purplish red.)

In other news: I managed to sleep whopping five hours last night! My goal was seven, but just when I was dozing off I had an idea which I had to draw before I forgot it.
It was crazy. I was manically happy, completely exhausted and drawing like crazy. I don't wonder why so many artists have been insane... you can't take sleep deprivation very long without losing some of your marbles. (Though, there actually is connection between creativity and schizophrenia. If I recall correctly latter one is caused by one gene activating wrong part of the brain.)

And guess what? I am tired... can't wait evening to come so I can go to bed!

Dear Mr. Sandman

Could provide me enough sleeping sand to sleep 10 hours in a row, if that is what you want me to sleep daily, instead of two five hour sessions? I hope you take this issue under consideration, it'd be much appreciated.

Thank you.

Yours truly,
$BLOGGER.

To dream, to sleep - to be healthy...

I've been wondering quite some time why I still have frequent dreams of Wolfie... they are not bad or sad dreams, but he's only person who frequents in my dreams so I find it rather curious. Or maybe it really takes this long for my mind to process myself over him. Who knows.

It also seems that that cortisone treatment had some effect on my moods, as now, when I'm on the lowest dose (last pill is waiting...) I'm actually getting to more hopeful mood, and my rhythm seemed to get back to normal in one day (woke up yesterday after 3PM, get back to bed after 9 PM, woke up ~2:30 AM).
And my ovaries haven't been hurting at all.

So, I am one (relatively) happy camper again, though one thing bothers me... I designed this gorgeous biscornu in my dreams and I can't remember how it looked like!

Allergy

My dermatologist called day before yesterday, and he booked some more tests for me. That means that little /me goes to condom shopping when she gets the appointment scheduled - as I have got symptoms from latex condoms, and as my previous tests didn't gave positive for latex allergy this is the next thing to do... it's possible that I'll get another round of epicutane. (Fun!..)

Boo

My rhythm is so messed up. Went to bed at seven o'clock (AM), woke up at four... And I blame on cortisone on the fact that I can't wake up when my cell's alarm goes off (it also ruins my fingernails *sob*). Two days to go... I just hope I can get my rhythm somewhat normalized after it.

During my coma I got a SMS from TNT. They have tried to deliver a parcel... and if I guess its origin correctly I'll get something great tomorrow (I know only one person who uses TNT).

Otherwise, I have been stitching, believe it or not. I'm trying one new finishing method with a personal twist, I should get it done today (so stay tuned, there will be pictures!).
I also have two biscornus in progress, and third in planning state as I paired Biscornu Exchange participants right away when sign-ups closed last night.

I think I know what colour I'll use in my partner's biscornu, I may even know the fabric, but floss and design aren't quite clear yet.
I might stitch one of my latest ones, which seems to suit to her likings with designs (I did some bloghopping during night), but for some reason I'd love to see that particular design stitched with GASTs, and I don't have them. *sigh* Maybe I will just look out some lovely shade of $COLOR instead and stitch it as monochrome.

Sleeping and cats

As boring as knit one row, purl another row is it has its advantages... it's great way to turn your brains off and be able to fall asleep when you get to bed. Though... that fun lasted only four hours before I woke up because I was feeling hot and thirsty.
You see, sleep deprivation messes up your body's temperature control... and in my case it only causes nice, little merry-go-round. Add coming five days of itching to that and we'll have one badly wrecked person in Monday.

I'm looking forward to that....

Anyway

My camera is finally mine! I paid last instalment for bits_2_whole yesterday. [add some booty shaking here]
To celebrate it I teased Seiichi by taking pictures of him (though he has got rather fond of posing lately...)... this is interesting (Night setting (long exposure) and an affectionate cat are good mix):

And to continue with cats: Love is... napping together.

      

(1. Neko and Ronja, 2. Neko and Seiichi (N. and S. are half brothers, notice the likeness? *g*) )

Ngggggh

Sunrise: 8:43
Sunset: 15:31
Length of day: 6 h 48 min

And amount of daylight keeps on reducing almost a month still... And this combined with lack of snow (yes, it has been raining last few days) does wonders to my mind. My days have been interesting lately: wake up -> 11 h awake -> 3 h nap -> 3-4 h awake -> 6h night sleep; repeat ad nauseam.
I think I'm hibernating.

Sounds like a plan, don't you think?

In other news, I have been stitching (in addition to spending half of the day chatting - yikes), but I prefer to show picture of completed stitching (instead of getting there), but those of you who know Woodland Snowfall by Little House Needleworks... imagine it stitched over one on 28 count blue opalescent, hand-dyed evenweave.

Yes, it'll be cute. ^^

One of the facts of life...

...is:

• If you go to bed and fall asleep before 11 p.m., you'll wake up at midnight.

Nothing else, back to stab Panda with my needle.

It's raining frogs, oy vey...

Any guesses on who had to frog almost half of the upper border of Alter Echo?

Yes, it was me. I had miscounted and then repeated my mistake in every single repeat I had stitched... *sigh*
I just love frogging red floss as it leaves visible lint - fortunately we have sticky tape.

Other life-related notions

1. I haven't slept since I woke up yesterday (~2:30 pm, those antihistamines...), and my plan is to keep myself going next 11- 12 hours... I've to, in order to get my sleeping back in order again. (It seems to normalize when ever I've company while sleeping - curious, don't you think?)
2. I got surprising promotion in certain forum... Not complaining: power to me^Wthe people!

Meme and personality in progress...

Tuesday has been meme free day, until today!

...in other words...

"The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

As I see it, and I talk out of experience, intelligent person is able to see the irony in everything and therefore is able to find everything ridiculous. That is why I am never 100% serious - nor 100% kidding, as behind most jokes lay real problem.
Sensible person can be too attached to one's sensibility and is afraid to see whole variety behind issues, as nothing is simple, but sensible may try to simplify things to be able to reason them.

But then, I am known voice of reason and I am also intelligent, which just proves that I am complex little thing and bit weird to myself based on my own pondering over the quote..

Personality in progress

I used to be that cat crazy stitcher, but I think that I've to broaden my craziness a bit, and therefore, hereby I declare myself as that dragon crazy stitcher in addition to everything else.

Why?
As you have noticed I've done quite a few dragons during this year and my latest great idea was to get dragons tag just to be able to follow my life with dragons better (oh yes, I do read my blog sometimes - it gives me ideas). (Wikipedia's two cents about dragons.) And I can't deny my weird love relationship to those creatures.

Lesson learnt

Do not, I repeat, do not sleep 14 hours in a row, no matter how tired you are. It feels good, and you'll be refreshed but you can't fall asleep in following night.

Devotion

Description of character of Siamese cats heightens the fact that Siameses are very affectionate breed.

"Siamese are affectionate and intelligent cats - - - they also have a great need for human companionship. Often they bond strongly to a single person."

which in our case am I.
I noticed Ronja's devotion towards me when I came back from Thailand and found a cat who had got sick just out of missing me. And now, when I was away for one night over the weekend she's following me everywhere. She sleeps in between of my legs when I sit on computer, which is not like her at all (she's sleeping on the floor, and it's not usually suitable place to her highness - according to her). It may have to do with her age, as she's not young anymore (she'll turn 13 in December), but it also may have to do with the fact that she has lost so many during her life and she's just afraid of losing one more - the one who takes care of her.