Man, of course (assumption being that this is woman - man combo).
I am not a feminist, I am a humanist, and traditionalist in this sense.
Someone could probably say that I am degrading my own sex, but that's bollocks. Men pay because I only accept chivalry and I respect my womanhood. Bite that.
That probably was why I didn't have many dates when I was single (though I was bad being single for a long time when I was)... *grin*
The original (Hong Kong/ Singapore) The Eye and The Eye II.
Goodness... there are so many places I would love to visit (as my friends know I am sucker for free trips *grin*).
Though, for some odd reason (as I am not huge US buff, rather quite a critic) I would visit New York, New York, US of A.
My life has been revolving around it in odd ways last ten or so years so I guess there is some reason for that and I should see what that reason would be.
I think it's Stephen King's The Stand's longer (1990) version. Its Finnish translation has 1344 pages.
Shortest... probably any of the parts of Stephen King's "The Green Mile". Usually I really don't consider anything less than 300 pages a book, but this makes an exception.
Stephen King springs to mind without any effort.
When I was younger I used to say that I would marry that man without hesitation if he wasn't already married.
If I wasn't happily married I would still have that opinion. *grin*
Another talented person I admire is Teresa Wentzler whose art I just love and am jealous of her design skills (admittedly her style is her style, my style is my style and I am excellent in my own style).
But still.... Mr. King takes the cake when it comes to talent.
Yes, absolutely, being the Fresh Air Nazi I am.
And smokers are a minority with a bad, bad habit so I am not very much interested of their right to spread that cancerous, foul smoke everywhere (even I am pro minority rights in about everything else).
Ah, don't we all just love questions like this.
Coming from a country where there haven't been any executions during peace since 1825 (Capital punishment in Finland) there is the predisposal (sp?) that I am a liberal extremist.
I am, admittedly, in a sense that I see no sense, moral or legal, in death penalty. If you really want to punish someone take their freedom from them for the rest of their natural life, but there is no excuse to murder a murderer in name of justice.
It is not a surprise to anyone that innocent people are killed by their governments in the name of moral and justice because of corrupt and / or biased courts, even though the spirit of justice should be that an innocent man is never convicted, that even guilty person have be set free if there is reasonable doubt about one's guilt.
Still, every year several innocent people get into death rows because the reasonable doubt is forgotten.
Many reason death sentences with religion, how it is deathly sin to kill someone... but killing someone because they have committed a sin is brutal, and I am quite sure that G-d is not very fond of such practises either as in such cases humans raise themselves to have the undertanding and rights of G-d - and last time I checked that was blasphemy.
Basically human being has no right to judge anyone in such drastic manner - if we use religion and G-d as the basis.
And if we don't I do not see what kind of ethic code would give anyone right to kill someone else. If killing someone is a crime everyone taking someone's life should be judged to death and all the sudden there would be piles of dead bodies...
Sin or no, killing anyone for whatever reason is simply utterly wrong. Period.
Basically I have never gave a damn when it came to roommate's or friend's musical preferences - though admittedly I do not think too highly of a person who listens solely of one artist or genre. Being a person with very varying musical taste I find it disturbing that there is someone who can be so limited, strict or just plain boring.
When it comes to love music has played a big part and it has usually been unifying factor (excluding Dan's love for Mozart, whereas I can not stand most of Mozart as it shuts my brain): without my love for music I had never ever met or got to know Sonnenschein or Wolfie (in Wolfie's case this is more than true).
Though we have never discussed much about music with Mr. Wonderful we seem to share at least some preferences (soul, jazz etc.) and the differences we have haven't been an issue.
I have also found several music styles I love because of love. Had I ever learned about Indian, Brazilian, Thai or Nigerian modern music without the persons who matter the most, I can not say, just assume that I hadn't.
But detract? I would love to say that am too stubborn to that, but I have to say that in a way it happened back in past as I want to please the person I love too much and thought that suppressing my own personality to support the one I loved was a good idea. Well, it wasn't and I learned my lesson: music is a big part of who I am and one should be able to enjoy the music one loves.
Suitable meme for this period of my life...
I would say that the biggest was absolutely getting married with Mr. Wonderful and I would say it is nothing but a HUGELY positive thing. ^^
Maybe I am not the best person to answer this as I have encountered such a situation in my life, but on the other hand I am because I can say things based on experience.
Dan, my ex-husband (for those of you who don't know), confessed many things after we got married and one of them was that he had been sentenced for committing a serious crime in his past. It was his luck that he was young and that in here certain types of crimes are not punished as strictly as they should as he got out of it with parole.
I was surprised and shocked because I couldn't understand why he never told me about that as he had had his issues with law and order in his youth and he had told me about that stuff before our marriage.
Shortly put I was angry at him because he didn't trust me more earlier.
When it comes to the crime I never believed, nor believe it now, that he was actually guilty. I have seen the court documents which in my opinion do not prove that he had committed said crime. And I can say that I know enough about him to not believe that he could do that kind of thing.
Basically when it comes to things like that I take them surprisingly easily. What ever my partner has done in their past has been in their past and it can't be changed. People can, however, change and what really matters is who my partner is now.
So, I can say that it did not affect to our relationship in any way, it was other stuff that eventually killed our marriage.
Let's say that I used to suffer from insomnia as I do no count one or two days of not being able to sleep well/ long enough as insomnia anymore.
I have always had somewhat odd sleeping rhythm, which probably runs in the family, and it took me years before I actually realised that it is not normal, or let's say preferred.
For me sleeping medication does not work how it should work so it has not been an option since the first and only time I tried such remedy: within two weeks I couldn't sleep even with the next-to-overdose dosage which made my insomnia even worse. After some time I decided to go cold turkey (even the doctor who prescribed me with them said they do not cause any side effects or any addiction - like I believed anyone?) and practically stayed awake for one week with only very short nap (we are talking anything up to 45 minutes or so here) every night before the medicine left the building.
I have "suffered" insomnia even after that, it happens to me for reason or tenth: latest periods of insomnia were when Mr. Wonderful was in Spain. Since then I have had two nights when I had difficulties to fall asleep, but those were caused by hurting ankle (I was told yesterday that it takes six weeks for it to heal properly) and overdose of paracetamol (1500mg/day whereas you are allowed to take 3000mg/day, but my body is little different..).
I don't know are they much of remedies, but what has helped me to get sleep have been the following things:
To certain extent insomnia is a matter of attitude and habit, in other words I have noticed it gets easier to live with the older I get. I can go to work without sleeping at all during the night and nobody notices (it's good to be naturally confused
The main thing with insomnia is not to stress too much about it, no matter how harsh it sounds.
I realized that I would do anything to have children when I was 18 and got PCOS diagnose and the doctor basically told me that PCOS women can't get pregnant naturally, or any other way (neither of them true) - before that I had never even thought about having or not having children (like I never actually thought of getting married before I was proposed when I was 19 - my ex and I were engaged, but I never thought that I would marry him some day. I guess you could say now that it tells more than I would like to admit about my subconscious mind back then *grin*).
When it comes to us it was obvious for both of us from the beginning of things that we want to have children and this was therefore decided before we even got into a relationship.
My regular readers know it already, but I would say that I am 99,9% cat person and 0,01% dog person.
I have met some nice (and non-smelly) dogs during my life, I was especially fond of ex-husband's sister's dog: he was kind, he did not smell like so many dogs do (sorry dog people, but they do) and he was a dog-sized dog (not too small, not too big).
Dan and I watched after The Dog at one point for a week and I really enjoyed it. Though, it was rather I who watched after The Dog, took him to his walks and everything. At that point I was doing night shifts and even I was extremely annoyed with Dan not waking up in the morning (it was 9 am when I got home and he was sound asleep... even when I tried to wake him up to take The Dog out and let me sleep (note that he was not working (actually he hasn't actually worked a day in his life even now, as far as I know))) and taking The Dog out I enjoyed immensely those long morning walks with it.
But, still I am a cat person, which probably explains why I had four of them not-so-long-ago.
Why? Cats are usually very neat, relaxed and don't demand long walks three times a day even if there is the worst snow storm out there. They are also annoyingly sweet with their bouts of jumping on walls and wanting to be petted at that very moment when you have something important to do.
Cats are loyal thinkers, who don't demand too much of you (usually - and Her Highness was Siamese so she does not count) and love you in their own personal, yet devoted ways.
Life is never boring with cats in the house.
I am not a roommate type anyway so I wouldn't consider someone who doesn't like cats as a roommate. Basically my fondness of being on my own if I am not in a relationship has kept me from that problem.
When it comes to partner... Well, I admit that cats moved away when Mr. Wonderful moved here even I had swore to myself that no man comes between me and my cats... Well, basically He didn't, boys still seems to like me:
This was taken when I was tending the boys when my mom was at her cabin in the end of February - admittedly it was bit difficult to tend the cats properly with sprained ankle)
I wouldn't say that He doesn't like cats, He is just not used to have animals living in the house. This is, I would say, the biggest cultural difference, to this date, we have actually confronted.
Marrige licence does indeed have an expiration date, at least in my neck of woods (4 months), whereas marriage certificate doesn't. (I am aware that this is a tomato vs. tomato thing, but still... you know that I am pedantic when I feel like it.)
Taking that we are really talking of marriage certificate, that piece of paper you are given when getting married (opposed to the licence which, at least in here, is written after non-impediment check and (in non-dominational weddings) given to the registrar (or to the couple to be given to the registrar upon marrying) - without that piece of paper you are not able to marry) my personal opinion is: absolutely not.
Despite being divorced I do firmly believe that you get married for a lifetime and if my fiance would ever suggest periodic marriage contract I would frown and run away fast. (Though this is completely theoretic as we share views about marriage.)
It is possible that that kind of contracts are suitable or at least acceptable to some people I find even thought of such a setting too stressful for my person and degrading the institution of marriage.
As I see it periodic marriage contract is basically saying that divorce is always an option and that it is likely for the marriage to end. Why work for something you can end within X months anyway? What if you are just having a bad phase in your relationship when the renewal date is and you decide not to renew your marriage even it had all the makings for a happy, lifelong committment?
Marriage does take much more than just love and in my opinion periodic marriage would just base on the idea of love and nothing else. And the difficult thing here is that love fluctuates: there are days when you really don't have that loving feeling, but after a while you can be like two newlyweds. Love is a form of energy and sometimes its batteries needs to be recharged.
I could also say that I do not believe in divorce... I am not holier than thou, I have divorced and I have never been ashamed of that (even many people still find it odd that I am "this young" and already divorced - guess how it was when I was still 25 and recent divorcee *grin*), but when I got married (at the age of 19) I was in for if for a lifetime, but being young and stupid marrying another young and stupid who was unwilling to grow up and lacked consistency there eventually was no other option for me then. It was either that or dying young out of stress. And I wanted to give my possible children a good father, not one of those I had.
So, in case it wasn't clear: I do not think that there should be expiration or renewal date in your marriage certificate.
Let's say that I don't expect anything, but I hope, wish and pray that we, Mr. Wonderful and myself, are happily married, have been blessed with children, He has a good job (or rather His own business as that is what He really wants) and live normal family life in where ever we live.
This is actually in some terms very current topic as we found out yesterday that my local magistrate has given us wrong information last year regarding those infamous documents.
(You simply can't ask the right questions if someone, a professional, does not ask those questions from you first and let you know how all eventualities affect to everything.)And I should therefore make some phone calls today - and being the mean bitch I am I will also call another magistrate in the vicinity and ask about the same topic from them as I am not too confident about the local one giving any correct information any more... I wonder why.
ETA: I am not very surprised, though very relieved. I called the Other Magistrate (too much Harry Potter, yes) and they said that the first info we got from local magistrate was accurate, so no need for tons of other papers.
I could almost have the courage to say that He is returning home soon if I wasn't too afraid of "painting devils on walls". G-d willing He will be back soon.
Oh, this is just the question for me: within last 12 years I have met all my partners, and men I have had crush for, online (that makes one ex-husband (Dan), one FWB (N.), three significant (let's say Men I could have considered marrying (I actually proposed Sol back in 2005 - yes, I did.
)) others (Abhi, Sol and Wolfie) and my dear common-law husband, Mr. Wonderful).Unfortunately I can't say how it has changed the way people in general meet and form relationships, I can only tell my own experiences.
First of all it is much easier for me to talk to strangers online: I am dreadful at small talk with strangers and I actually don't like it much, even I am slowly getting better at chit-chat. It is also much easier to talk about serious issues because you get time to think what you say and how you react to what other person says to you - and I rather type than talk because I am much more eloquent in typing (and I tend to stutter occasionally when I talk).
All this typing talk also makes it possible to get to know people without knowing how they look like which enables better view of the person as whole when you see how they look.
I am also quite modest about my looks due my background (once an ugly ducking, always an ugly duckling - at least in some level) and the general beauty aspect in West, even I have been constantly told how stunning I am last years, and I rather let people know who I am, not how I look like.
Well, "of course" I use wrong tense here. Many things have changed as nowadays I really don't even want complete strangers to know how I look like or what I think of - excluding Facebook. *grin*
I would say that in certain level meeting online probably lessens the importance of looks, but being honest looks have been imporant issue for me for few years: looks tell something about person's health and lifestyle, and eyes are the mirror of the soul.
I remember when I got the first message, at that infamous dating site, from Mr. Wonderful: first thing I did, after reading His message, was to check His pictures and after that His written profile. (Truth to be told is that if I had read His profile without reading His message or seeing His gorgeousness I would probably have left His message unanswered - and life would be much different from what it is now.)
He was a good-looking man (He has since evolved to be Amazingly Gorgeous (with capital letters, yes)) and His message just made me write back - and here we are going strong, 18 ½ months after that day.
So, looks did matter, but wasn't the only thing. One of the major factors was that He was employed: I admit being nasty that way, but after Dan I simply couldn't consider man who doesn't have a job, as in my opinion man has to be The Man, not just a man, and be able to take care of his family. (Mr. Wonderful thinks the same and it pains Him not to be able to finance our little family at the moment (as He lost His job last year - which has had also positive effect in our lives though).)
In general man's financial status has never had much impact in my heart's ways: but oddly enough in post-Dan life the men in my life have been, how would I say it, financially well-to-do.
So, it is not one thing, or two things. Or one or two things which you don't agree upon. It is the bigger picture.
I found Man with intellect, good looks, strong values (even I don't agree with all of them I respect them), desire for getting married and having children, treating His Lady like the Queen and will to succeed in life. And the most amazing smile.
The thing is: eventually you are the only one who defines how finding someone works for you and what traits you emphasize in others, whether you do it on- or offline. You just need to know what you really want.
