Tick Tock, Tick Tock

The clock is ticking. I finally sent the divorce papers to court this morning. We should be able to pass the consideration period and get it sentenced without delay (unless they want to inform him, and that is another matter. Or rather another month or two) as we have never officially lived together.

Tick tock.

It ain't pretty, but ain't it the truth?

When I was contemplating on leaving Tiny's father I had a thought about changing Tiny's surname to protect him from his father (after getting full custody). Then I started to think that in the end it's not my decision, but if Tiny wants to change his own name when he is older I will let him do it...

But lately I have been re-thinking about it and I have come to conclusion that usually children don't carry sperm donor's surname... as that is all Tiny's father has been to him based on how things have been and how they seem to be.
If his father has no interest towards his son he is, in my opinion, nothing else but a sperm donor I am married to. If his father considers his own ego more important than his son's well being and happiness he is nothing but a sperm donor. And hence my son should, when I get full custody, have my surname.

Admittedly it would also be easier for us if we had same surname (as I am taking my maiden name back) and as my maiden name sounds European (vs. his Nigerian surname) it would help improve Tiny's possibilities in this country. Even though his first name and my maiden name make him sound Italian, but in here it isn't as bad as having an African surname - as let's face it: there are rotten eggs everywhere.

It would also make it easier when he goes to kindergarten and from there to school. There would hopefully be fewer preconceptions about things - even though fact is that there will be such as Tiny won't grow up looking like your average Finnish child, but then nothing about him is average (at least if you ask from me ).

I know Tiny's father will have some nasty opinions about me, but I can live with that. If he had one non-egoistic bone in him that would not happen, but you will sleep in the bed you make...

The Abundance of Stash, Part 1

There is SO much new stash that I haven't been able to blog because it's simply overwhelming... so, I think this entry is more about pretty stash and less about writing.

Actually there has been so much of incoming stash that I had to divide this entry anyway as it would have become WAY too picture heavy. Even though stash pictures are always pleasant I am afraid it might cause nausea and dizziness...

Phew!

The Secret Life of Tiny

I remember promising pictures AGES ago, so here he comes: Tiny.

Pictures are not in chronological order, as you may notice. *grin*

Today Tiny and I went to see a social worker to make custody arrangements. Or rather we pieced together a custody agreement suggestion (full custody, supervised meetings and so forth). It will be sent to Spain, to local embassy, and if Ministry of Foreign Affairs and the local embassy actually manage to find him they will do their best to get him to sign it.
If he doesn't accept it and sign it we go to court. If they can't find him we go to court. So basically the odds are that we go to court.

Luckily I can get free lawyer and free trial because I am on low income. Whereas Tiny's father can't... so, if he is smart, taking that he is found, he signs the paper. Otherwise it's court and I don't think he could afford a lawyer and even if he did... he could only try to make minor changes to meetings and so forth. And knowing local system his skin colour and nationality are against him, as is the fact that he has never seen Tiny. Or kept contact. Or supported Tiny financially. And that I have a proof where he states that he is not going to meet his son before he is an adult.

They'd eat him for breakfast.

Anyway, let's see does this take few months or few years.