I've packed his stuff today and now I feel quite.. not sad but I am not very cheerful or happy like I usually am.

And like that weren't enough... there is so much hatred in this world, in people, that my little mind can't really understand it all. Ok, hate is feeling and I try to approve it because of that but why they hate me even they don't know me? And why? Because I happen to be intelligent and WOMAN. Frigging odd. Ok, I know that most humans can't stand intelligent people in general... but anyway. So, people make me feel miserable just because I am intelligent. Like that is my fault... sometimes it would be so much easier without brains and heart.

*sigh*

I don't miss sex that much and that is quite ood in fact when we are talking about me... I miss tenderness and intimacy... but not just any type of them, I need those seasoned with love.
It is awful to sleep when no one isn't holding you close to him, or have his hand on your hip while you sleep. The lack of togetherness is awful...
There is no one when you go to sleep, no one when you wake up. No one to laugh or cry with.

My skin is lonely... it needs touching, caressing...

I miss loving someone. And now it is even harder than before as I know what I want and that is a lot, maybe even too much... At least now it feels that world is full of idiots and most of those idiots are after sex. Nothing against it but love first... I am quite old-fashioned nowadays. :)

He is away for about three weeks. First I felt miserable for being alone but then I realized that I am free. Free to do what ever I want to do. I am relieved.

Of course I miss his presence as I am used to it. But finally I feel free to do things... like rearrange furniture etc. :) As I just can't do anything when he is at home. It is odd, really. I have done more today than I have done in last week... Why he has that bad influence on me?

I feel guilty for being happy because he is not here but I know that there's nothing wrong in it.

I have been quiet almost three weeks. Well, life is quite hard sometimes...

He got an apartment, rented it from his dad. Even I feel happy I feel extremely sad. Of course this is hard for me. I would be scared if it would be easy. Now I just have so many practical issues to handle. I have to have new lease to this apartment, even it feels extremely odd. Well, I have to do it in the morning. No matter how hard it feels.