1999,5: Sigh, Spoof and This-And-That

Editorial note: for some odd reason my LJ client published this entry in draft state. It probably has been my mistake, but still I can't recall clicking that little Post Entry button... Regardless, the official, better version is now here.

 

Editorial note II: I know this is officially my 2000th entry, but I promise to draw the name the name of the lucky winner when I am feeling less lousy. Show some pity to sick person, please.

 

His flight departed early in the morning of 3rd of January and it feels so empty in here without Mr. Wonderful. This was a home when we left to the airport, when I came back it wasn't a home anymore, just a place. Luckily His belongings here prevent me from being completely moody.

It is great to see that the amount of His belongings here is increasing slowly (which means lots of clothes to smell! I am perverted that way. His scent soothes my nerves) - actually the sight of His clothes in the cabinet make me feel like home again. To be completely honest that is the only thing that makes me feel at home at all at the moment. It's ridiculous how different everything is when He is not here, even the light is of different shade (more blue, when He is at home it's redder).

And next time He arrives He is planning to bring as much as He possibly can as that will be The Day™.

We had a wonderful holiday season together and those 11 days passed too quickly.

He arrived on the most beautiful winter evening, all the trees were covered with snow, the weather was freezing and it was snowing lightly. And He left again on the most beautiful winter's morning with exactly the same weather.
Upon His arrival He said that Finland welcomed Him home with the beautiful weather, and when we were driving to the airport I was thinking that Finland was saying Bye bye, come back soon to Him.

I am so confused about His absence that I don't really know what to say even there is so much to blog about. Which probably means that I am quite a sad case as I knew that He would travel again on 3rd.

I have been so confused that I haven't had enough words to write about the things I want to write about.

 

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." (Mahatma Gandhi)

Those of you who haven't been in complete media blackout within last month know about the attack on NWA flight 253 on Christmas Day and the consequences it has had.

Less surprisingly we followed the news about the incident very closely for various reasons. Of course we were curious because Mr. Wonderful is Nigerian citizen (dual citizenships are wonderfully confusing to many ("But didn't you just say he is British?")) and there has been no records whatsoever of international terrorism (islamic or any other kind, just internal issues) in Nigeria (which is basically half muslim, half Christian and healthy serving of indigenous people to spice things up country), and we are both also quite critical about the way certain countries handle and publicize certain, even though extremely unfortunate and cowardly, events.
Therefore I found this clip extremely entertaining - and for some reason Hitler talking about how he wants a Nigerian wife makes it hilarious (even though Hitler as a person was or is never a laughing matter).

Nigeria is a troubled country, but to judge whole country because of one idiot who got radicalized abroad (maybe in UK, as he had to have some reason to go to Yemen where he was supposedly trained) is in my less humble opinion... stupid.

 

Otherwise...

Mr. Wonderful is in sunny Lagos at the moment seeing family after few years and getting some things He left there last time - next time we hopefully travel together.

And I am sick again.

But, and this is a BIG but(t har har): I do not, I repeat, I do not have sinusitis (though I have to admit that I have already found a positive side of sinusitis: your nose is not running like Niagara. I had already forgot how much fun it is to have a regular cold without blocked sinuses... )! This is apprently thanks to my Neti which I have started to use again only few days before getting the virus.
The Secret of it all seems to be the salt used: I started with regular salt and it caused me migraines. Hence I hid the Neti to toilet cabinet, until I dug it out again and decided to try it with Himalayan salt which is not refined like the regular table salt (and which can be found from local "Eco" store only 12€/ kilo).

There has been two noticeable advantages from it within this short period: I smell things better (which is great as I can still smell my Wonderful's scent when I come home, whereas I couldn't before I started rinsing) and I am on better mood. Oxygen is a funny thing.

And I miss my Darling. Funnily enough nowadays I still feel like He was here close to me even when He isn't - but still even feeling close to Him at all times does not take away the devastating emptiness when He is not here.

Luckily He calls me more often now that I am sick. ^^ (I called Him today, a short 60 - 90 second call, and it was like three euros! O.o So, I rather let Him call me, anyway He has always been better caller than I am.) And when it comes to phone calls I find it very interesting that when He calls from Nigeria the quality of the signal is much, much better than from Spain. Though that is not the only thing that is far worse in Spain than in Nigeria, I can tell that based on personal experience.

1993: Waiting

It will be a long day: later today we should know is He heading back home before Independence Day or will He stay stuck in Málaga for another X days/ weeks.

This is somehow familiar situation though: last year we didn't saw each other in five months (His long business trip, worldwide financial crisis etc.). But to be honest the situation is much different, after living together like husband and wife for months, sharing our daily lives and quirky habits - and just loving each other more because we have found out that we are both human.

It's funny what you miss when your loved one is away... Like watching all the silliest reality police shows in the middle of the night and Mr. Wonderful reminding that I should actually sleep a bit before waking up for work, caressing my neck to help me fall asleep... or doing the laundry, ironing his clothes just because I know how much he enjoys his clothes looking good - and because the heat from the iron releases his core scent from the fibers, something I just love.

Last year, when He was in the business trip, I slept with the pillows He had slept with on our first date (does week together count as one date or dates from first to seventh?) because it was the only way for me to get any sleep - when I came back from Málaga I didn't wash my shirts in days because they brought comfort in form of His scent.

At the moment I sleep only because I know I have to and only way to actually get anything close to "decent sleep" is to hear His voice.
I knew before He went to Spain that my sleep will be disturbed during His absence, as even when He is at home, but not within three metres from me (luckily it is a rather small flat) when I am sleeping, my sleep becomes erratic.
It's not enough to know He is at home, I need to hear and smell Him, feel His warmth.

He brings me comfort, joy, happiness, love and... health, all the things I have craved for so long. (On the day when our first child will born, G-d willing, He has given me everything, and more than, I could ask for.)

During those months we spent together before his current trip I was only sick once, for five days. (I got on sick leave right after He came here, but that was recurring illness (stubborn sinusitis) and I was already getting ill when He arrived.)

Since He traveled I have been sick... I don't even know how often, I guess it has been closer to one month altogether, maybe even more: I have lost count.

Interim

If you understand any Spanish, you will get my point.

"Eres mi medicina, mi antidoto y vitamina/ sin ti soy alma perdida y tus besos/ son mi adrenalina"

Continuing...

Those infamous "They" always say how love is good for you, and I have always agreed. I have also agreed with "Home is where the heart is", as my long-time readers (or those who have had the courage to read my blog through after finding it) know, for the longest time - well, 5½ years, but anyway (surprisingly, it was my blog's 5½th anniversary month before yesterday), but still all this surprises me.

And on the other hand it doesn't... I recall vividly that evening when we were sitting on the sofa, watching clips about Lagos (indeed, Lakes) and Abuja from YouTube (part of Him comes from/ is Nigeria(n) and he wanted to show me around - and we actually enjoy googling for pictures from various African cities, or rather He googles and shows me around as I have never been in Africa and He has been touring it for business and leisure. I dare to say that we both enjoy those little virtual tours (last one lasted for hours and we noticed before midnight that it might be good idea to actually make some dinner at some point as we were both seriously hungry - it just had been so enjoyable to "travel" around)) and all the sudden He just asks "If I move to Nigeria some day, will you follow me?"

I replied without hesitation: "Of course".

And why wouldn't I follow? Home is where the heart is and my home is where He is. These months apart have proved that to be more than true. (I am actually considering finding a reasonable priced Igbo study book from somewhere (read: Amazon)... Not just because the possible move, but for many, many reasons. It would be nice to be able to hold up even a basic conversation in Igbo when ever we visit His relatives there (they speak English, but I am talking about respect here) - and as you know, knowing the language helps to understand the culture and the people.)

But, it's about time for me to head to bed. I have to wake up at 6:30 and head to work. More later.

Clips of interest :)

"Chimamanda Adichie: The danger of a single story"

And all the enthusiasts can relate to this...