Year ago today...

I became a mother to this adorable little boy.

Happy birthday my dear Tiny!

And to celebrate Tiny's birthday and International Women's Day my alter ego decided to put "Women Are Angels" on sale!

Anti-compromise act: the fine print

There is a limit to compromises to remain faithful to yourself, but the question is how you know you have compromised too often?

There is no way to say that "X times is too many" as in a relationship based on love, understanding, respect and trust you should not have to question anything.
Even less you should be questioning is your partner worth of all the compromises or which one of you compromises more than the other. As it is not a competition, it's supposed to be all about love. All about wishing the best for the one you love, all about helping them and all about not being selfish.

And still you should remain selfish to stay honest to yourself, keep your vision clear to see when you are beginning to lose yourself or when you are being bossed around.

What about us silly folks you have raised up to help others, to walk that extra mile for people? We have been raised up to be emphathetic, but does it need to mean we keep losing ourselves? Or do we just choose the wrong people? Do wrong people just choose us?

In my case the question is how the heck I have ended ending two marriages if I am as good as I am told I am? Or is it just like 1st husband said after we broke up, that I am too kind and good and people will use me because of that?

Do I have the "Good Guy Syndrome"? Or am I, as said before, a half-broken thing?

Anti- compromise act

I've come to understand why some men I've met during my life have stated that they are sick of compromising.
Turns out that they weren't immature and selfish, or if they were I've become immature and selfish - which I don't really believe.

It just dawned to me that my problem, one of them, in relationships is my ability and willingness to compromise. Which is a good trait, but one should also be faithful to herself.

Which is something I've failed to do.

I've been unfaithful to myself by being the one who always compromises, understands, forgets without even the simplest "sorry dear", and the one who forgets herself in order to be a good partner.

And today I realized that somehow I've happily accepted things I didn't ever realize I had accepted, before now.
And somehow I didn't stand up when things that were completely normal things in a relationship were told being somehow wrong, or wicked as he so often judged things that weren't like he thought things should be.
I can emphatise as I think I know why he saw world as he does, and I feel sorry for him because he loses so much of life's beauty.

ETA (as my phone didn't want to edit):

But remember dearest me that if you are not accepted as you are, nor your habits or your likings then he is not worth it.
No matter how much you care for that person he is not worth it if he doesn't show that you are worth your weight in gold.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.