Stitching, stitching, stitching

Oh, stitching, you are haunting me. Or rather, I am getting back to my normal addiction levels (isn't thyroxine wonderful thing?).

Yesterday I found myself thinking about rotation to get rid of some WIPs I have!

I guess that is a healthy thing, wanting to 1. stitch and 2. get rid of those about thousand WIPs I have at the moment. Maybe I mention this next time when I talk to my endo, could he understand it (probably he would look at it from the "energy level and organizational abilities" point of view and would see it as a good thing)?

Even more shocking I have been preparing design files for publishing! Gosh!

I was checking my cycle data at Fertilityfriend earlier this evening because I wanted to know did I had any recorded ovulations before I got thyroxine.

I had, one, in the beginning of April 2009.

Wth my newly acquired knowledge about temperature change patterns in menstrual cycle I found something from that chart, something that surprised me.
There was a triphasic pattern in it. Which can indicate pregnancy (I know it always doesn't).

Otherwise I would have just thought that I just had that kind of a pattern, but I remember that cycle well as I felt after the ovulation that there is something different in this cycle, and had increasing feeling of maybe even being pregnant. I just didn't buy the test because I knew they wouldn't say anything about it after just few days. I decided to wait until few days after my menses should begin.

Only couple of days before menstruation I fell quite badly (slipped) and the day after that I spotted. For one day. That same day my temperature dropped drastically. And shortly after that my menses started.

What ifs and maybes, yes, but it's odd and not all pleasant feeling. If it was so the good thing is that I can actually get pregnant (though based on that it's other thing to stay pregnant), but it also means that I miscarried. And I can't help to think that if I was pregnant and if everything had went differently our baby would be eight months by now.

And that hurts like hell.

And I am probably slightly crazy... but still, even the what if is good enough for me. And even the slight possibility can make me sad.

He is getting old...

I heard that Neko has cancer. He had a lump in his ear and my sister (Neko lives with her) took him to the vet to remove it. The lump was analyzed and it was malign. In today's check-up there was another growth (small) in his another ear so there is probably is a tumor somewhere, at least cancerous cells roaming poor kitty's bloodstream.

Nothing intrusive will be done to ensure Neko as comfortable old age as possible and when the cancer proceeds far enough Neko will join Ronja, Mash-Mash and all the others.