Are any of you surprised when I tell that I haven't been able to sleep too well?

Good, neither am I.

Are any of you surprised that because of this I also managed to break the frame of my glasses? Yes, ouch. (Admittedly they are old: 7-8 years for all-plastic frame is quite well, I would say.)
Luckily we have super glue: it doesn't look pretty, but I am able to see before our visit to Helsinki and maybe even during the time when I am waiting for new glasses (thank G-d for el cheapo optician chains, with luck new ones are only 29€).

My mom could have said this!

"When you meet someone who can cook and do housework don't hesitate a minute: marry him!"
-- Unknown

(And I am lucky to have such a gem in my life. ^^)

Talking of housework, this ankle thing has given a completely new meaning to word accomplish: plain hoovering most of the apartment and wiping living room floor feels like a huge achievement.
And The Ankle Thing also gives a great reason to sprawl on the sofa for ages after doing something: must not strain my poor ankle too much.

Too bad I got addicted to Harry Potter books again so I have been reading the series through instead of stitching...

1999,5: Sigh, Spoof and This-And-That

Editorial note: for some odd reason my LJ client published this entry in draft state. It probably has been my mistake, but still I can't recall clicking that little Post Entry button... Regardless, the official, better version is now here.

 

Editorial note II: I know this is officially my 2000th entry, but I promise to draw the name the name of the lucky winner when I am feeling less lousy. Show some pity to sick person, please.

 

His flight departed early in the morning of 3rd of January and it feels so empty in here without Mr. Wonderful. This was a home when we left to the airport, when I came back it wasn't a home anymore, just a place. Luckily His belongings here prevent me from being completely moody.

It is great to see that the amount of His belongings here is increasing slowly (which means lots of clothes to smell! I am perverted that way. His scent soothes my nerves) - actually the sight of His clothes in the cabinet make me feel like home again. To be completely honest that is the only thing that makes me feel at home at all at the moment. It's ridiculous how different everything is when He is not here, even the light is of different shade (more blue, when He is at home it's redder).

And next time He arrives He is planning to bring as much as He possibly can as that will be The Day™.

We had a wonderful holiday season together and those 11 days passed too quickly.

He arrived on the most beautiful winter evening, all the trees were covered with snow, the weather was freezing and it was snowing lightly. And He left again on the most beautiful winter's morning with exactly the same weather.
Upon His arrival He said that Finland welcomed Him home with the beautiful weather, and when we were driving to the airport I was thinking that Finland was saying Bye bye, come back soon to Him.

I am so confused about His absence that I don't really know what to say even there is so much to blog about. Which probably means that I am quite a sad case as I knew that He would travel again on 3rd.

I have been so confused that I haven't had enough words to write about the things I want to write about.

 

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." (Mahatma Gandhi)

Those of you who haven't been in complete media blackout within last month know about the attack on NWA flight 253 on Christmas Day and the consequences it has had.

Less surprisingly we followed the news about the incident very closely for various reasons. Of course we were curious because Mr. Wonderful is Nigerian citizen (dual citizenships are wonderfully confusing to many ("But didn't you just say he is British?")) and there has been no records whatsoever of international terrorism (islamic or any other kind, just internal issues) in Nigeria (which is basically half muslim, half Christian and healthy serving of indigenous people to spice things up country), and we are both also quite critical about the way certain countries handle and publicize certain, even though extremely unfortunate and cowardly, events.
Therefore I found this clip extremely entertaining - and for some reason Hitler talking about how he wants a Nigerian wife makes it hilarious (even though Hitler as a person was or is never a laughing matter).

Nigeria is a troubled country, but to judge whole country because of one idiot who got radicalized abroad (maybe in UK, as he had to have some reason to go to Yemen where he was supposedly trained) is in my less humble opinion... stupid.

 

Otherwise...

Mr. Wonderful is in sunny Lagos at the moment seeing family after few years and getting some things He left there last time - next time we hopefully travel together.

And I am sick again.

But, and this is a BIG but(t har har): I do not, I repeat, I do not have sinusitis (though I have to admit that I have already found a positive side of sinusitis: your nose is not running like Niagara. I had already forgot how much fun it is to have a regular cold without blocked sinuses... )! This is apprently thanks to my Neti which I have started to use again only few days before getting the virus.
The Secret of it all seems to be the salt used: I started with regular salt and it caused me migraines. Hence I hid the Neti to toilet cabinet, until I dug it out again and decided to try it with Himalayan salt which is not refined like the regular table salt (and which can be found from local "Eco" store only 12€/ kilo).

There has been two noticeable advantages from it within this short period: I smell things better (which is great as I can still smell my Wonderful's scent when I come home, whereas I couldn't before I started rinsing) and I am on better mood. Oxygen is a funny thing.

And I miss my Darling. Funnily enough nowadays I still feel like He was here close to me even when He isn't - but still even feeling close to Him at all times does not take away the devastating emptiness when He is not here.

Luckily He calls me more often now that I am sick. ^^ (I called Him today, a short 60 - 90 second call, and it was like three euros! O.o So, I rather let Him call me, anyway He has always been better caller than I am.) And when it comes to phone calls I find it very interesting that when He calls from Nigeria the quality of the signal is much, much better than from Spain. Though that is not the only thing that is far worse in Spain than in Nigeria, I can tell that based on personal experience.

Igor(ina): "It's easy to kill thomeone, and almost impossible to bring them back again."


Polly: "Almost?"

Igor(ina): "Well, if you don't have a really good lightning rod. And even if you have, they're never quite the same. Cutlery tends to stick to them."

"Monstrous Regiment" by Terry Prachett

Har har :P

"Did Noah keep his bees in archives?"

This, other truths and question and loads of great free fonts can be found from Font Garden

It's my day off and time for...

...some more stashy goodness!

I guess I have moseynmeitis too... I remember how few years ago I didn't like any of their designs! There are still some, but oddly I have acquired few of their designs... and stitched two. (I guess it should be The House on Addict Street... )

Dragon Dreams is always Dragon Dreams, nothing to add to that.

That Passione Ricamo is OOP and in normal case I would have had to pay appr. $15 for it... I happened to get it for $3.26! (I wouldn't have bought it in its "normal" price.)
When it comes to Man into a Credit Card... do I need to even tell you why I needed it?!

I guess I have to add Patricia Andrle into that evergrowing list of My Favourite Designers as I just had to get Galleon and Sea Monsters even it wasn't exactly on the cheap side...

When it comes to cross stitch designs in general I think I should add to my wishlist "anything from Isabelle Vautier". There seems to be only few of her designs which I don't simply adore... She has really unique style and I am sure I would love to stitch quite many of her creations.

Just in case I haven't saved this one yet...

"The search for truth is more precious than its possession."
-- Albert Einstein

Stash and quotes

The long-awaited stash!

You may ask "What's the thing with those Schooler Santas then?" and I have to admit that I am not quite sure. I just like them as they are different from regular santa designs as they have an idea behind them (and well, the fact that I am in love with an Anglican may have something to do with it).

I have been doing household chores today and when I threw the trash out I found something very useful from the trash shed: look at these babes.

Yes, they are wine boxes. In other words they used to be wine boxes and nowadays they are stash boxes.

The natural coloured is a real box with hinges and clasp, the black one has sliding top, but still it is very useful for stitchy stuff.

Few quotes about long-distance relationships

Originally from here.

"To truly love something, you must first give it a chance to fail. If it survives, it is going to be stronger than ever. Distance is pure proof of this, and forever we will love if we survive. "

"Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will."

"There is no long distance about love, it always finds a way to bring hearts together no matter how many miles there are between them.

"Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad, because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss."

"When you feel alone, just look at the spaces between your fingers, remember that in those spaces you can see my fingers locked with yours forever."

"So close your eyes and sleep to dream. I'm by your side. No words to speak. We'll set our course and make it through. No matter how far I go, my heart remains with you."

"It's not the distance that counts, it's the love."

And one from yours truly, from few years back: "Distance is just a word."

It isn't a surprise that I miss Mr. Wonderful quite a great deal, he has been on the road for five weeks now (two weeks from now he returns to Europe! ) and because of the circumstances we haven't been able to be in contact as much as we would have wanted to - or are used to.
But it makes us appreciate each other even more. Of course I can only talk about myself and I have to say that during these weeks I have grew to understand how deeply he has got into me even we haven't knew each other that long. Days just miss something when he's not part of them (in addition being in my thoughts constantly, that is).

No, I am not getting mushy. I have been mushy since late July or so, I just have tried to hide it well.

SBQ: Belated and the new one

7th of August, 2008

This week's SBQ was suggested by yours truly and is:

What do you do to your thread clippings? Do you just scrap them or do you use them in something else?

I store my clippings in a bowl, and when the bowl is full I move them to a large glass jar. It's rather decorative and I do use them sometimes with polyester filling when finishing needlework smalls.

21st of August, 2008

This week's SBQ was suggested by Dawn and is:

If you had to choose, would you rather spend money on overdyed floss or hand-dyed fabric?

This is easy: on floss, as overdyed floss always looks nicer on stock shades (like flax or pure white linen) and it's more cost effective in general (and nowadays I have to think of that because I need to save for the plane ticket).

Some quotes...

I gathered these yesterday when looking for a signature line, but as I was adjusting of being far away from mr.Wonderful I wasn't in the mood for blogging - before he called me in the middle of the night just to say that he loves me.

"Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end."
-- Unknown

"Between husband and wife there should be no secrets from one another. I have a very high opinion of the marriage tie. I hold that husband and wife merge in each other. They are one in two or two in one."
-- Mahatma Gandhi

"Love is the expansion of two natures in such fashion that each include the other, each is enriched by the other."
-- Felix Adler

"To love another person is to see the face of God."
--Les Miserables

"There is no remedy for love but to love more."
-- Thoreau

"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."
-- Anonymous

"Where there is love there is life."
-- Gandhi

Actual stitchy content

Shocking, yes.

Firstly I started 2nd part of the Spanish Sampler MSAL in monochrome, went on balcony to stitch it as it was a lovely, sunny and warm... soon after that it became cloudy and chilly AND I got a migraine (due many things: low air pressure, general frustration, hormones and making the part 3 ready to be published in next Tuesday (I am surprised that my virtual printer actually worked without cursing and throwing things)) so I came back infoors and decided to change to something smaller i.e. Linda's "Autumn":

And just to prove that I have started the second part of TSS...

I think it will look quite fun when finished.

"To say nothing, especially when speaking, is half the art of diplomacy."
-- Will Durant

The Jade Plant & Monstero

As previously mentioned, my jade plants love it here. They were tiny little plants when my mother brough them. (Both are doing as well, even I only took picture of one.)

(The pot it is in is hand-thrown by me, by the way.)

And, my Monstero (in Finnish Goblin Leaf) has also enjoyed living with me. When my mother brought it here it had only two or three little leaves in it.

(The picture is from yesterday evening as I had to ask from my mother what plant it is - because I seem to be slightly allergic to it. (I am not quite sure will it like the kitchen window as it is very hot, but we'll see.))

Crotty is also making new flower buds at the moment... So, spite of my non-existent green thumb plants which should not success in these longitudes blossom in my care... it makes me wonder why.

Quote

"All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree."
-- Albert Einstein

This mountaintop is solitary, but cozy...

I love the random quote panel I installed on PD's community, I find great quotes from it all the time (though, over half of the quotes there are added by me - not to mention the amount of typos of the original quote list I had to fix before it was usable *rolls eyes until they fall off*):

"Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves."
--Blaise Pascal

In general I have spent last few days by thinking, wondering, pondering, thinking... and playing online chess - when I haven't slept like a mummy (I sleep 12 - 16 h/d, simply because I can't open my eyes and get up).

All the symptoms point to depression...

I am bored: [X] Yes, [ ] No
I have problems being generally interested of anything: [X] Yes, [ ] No *
I "lose hours" every day: [X] Yes, [ ] No **
I sleep too much: [X] Yes, [ ] No
I am socially withdrawn: [X] Yes, [ ] No

... the main point just is... that I am not.
My state of mind is completely normal, though more thoughtful than usually (i.e. I really process things).
One factor may be that due my odd rhythm I haven't took all of my daily cortisone inhalations which leads my asthma worsening which leads to tiredness and general exhaustion.

It may be that my body is simply exhausted and depressed due all the strain it has been under last years with all the health problems. Which leads to interesting situation: I am mentally healthy enough to work, but my physics probably couldn't take it in the long run. (This was sort of proved during those three months I worked in the $COMPANY: 1st month was fine, but I was on a sick leave continuously during 2nd and 3rd month, and after the period was over I was sick for two weeks (admittedly it was a mild influenza, but still - I rarely get those).)

If it is so, I may be in deep $*** as I am so dreadfully good at looking healthy (that was why the GP didn't diagnose the hyperventilation attack as one and sent me to hospital for the second opinion..) which practically means that I am never diagnosed as sick as I am.... damn, I'd say.

Anyway, I'm off to shower. All this concentrating on one thing hurts my brain.

---

*: I haven't read blogs in three days, and I check only the necessary email accounts (i.e. blogging email, PD's Gmail and TSS').
**: You know, that is actually a symptom of schizophrenia.

My heart has become able
to take on all forms.

It is a pasture for gazelles,
for monks, an abbey.
It is a temple for idols,
and for whoever walks around it, the Kaaba.
It is the tablets of the Torah,
and also the leaves of the Qur’an!

I believe in the religion of Love,
whatever direction its caravans may take,
for Love is my religion and my faith.

-- Ibn Arabi

"This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness."
-- The Dalai Lama

"It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell."
-- Shakyamuni Buddha

Quotes and NHNTDWIs (Need-Has-Nothing-To-Do-With-Its)

"Laughter is the closest distance between two people."
-- Victor Borge

"Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose."
-- Evan Esar

"The inner fire is the most important thing mankind possesses."
-- Edith Södergran

"Not the power to remember, but its very opposite, the power to forget, is a necessary condition for our existence."
-- Sholem Asch

Pretty!

"Le Jardin de Plaisir" by the Long Dog Samplers. (I also like "Wachet Auf", though I would change the colour scheme.)

Unconscious Mutterings

Week 253

I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Master:: ...of Puppets
2. Tour :: Journey
3. Input :: Opinion
4. Downtown :: Centre
5. Pricey :: Expensive
6. Acceptable :: Safe
7. Terrace ::Winter
8. Sunday :: Today
9. Payoff :: Money
10. Jack and Jill :: Jack & Jill

Cozy...

A Low Impact Woodland Home

And the quote

"When a habit begins to cost money, it's called a hobby."
- Jewish Proverb -

Didn't I say something?

I got the flu shot Friday morning, and as usual felt quite woozy about an hour after it, but then I felt better than in ages so I was in hopes that this time my body wouldn't react too strongly with the viruses (ref: Hepatitis A vaccination)... Saturday morning I woke up with an aching head (which was temporarily cured by someone ^^) and when the morning turned to late afternoon I wasn't fit enough to sit for longer than 15 minutes at one time and had a fever. I also feel like quite wobbly, which probably means that I have to take a day off in Monday.

That also meant no stitching for yesterday, but I did manage to convert quite a few of my pre-PCStitch designs to *.pat format - once they are all converted I can get some more room onto my hard drive as I can just burn them on a CD and then delete the files.

To laugh or to cry?

"It was left to the genial Irish prelate James Ussher, while he was bishop of Armagh, to fix the date with absolute precision. According to his workings, which he managed to convince his clerical colleagues were impeccably accurate, God had created the world and all its creatures in one swift and uninterrupted process of divine mechanics that began on the dot pf the all-too-decent hour of 9 A.M., on a Monday, October 23, 4004 B.C.
- - -
At the start of that late October week, in the year that modern Christian calendar would style 4004 B.C., the Deity organized the basic consepts of light and dark, sun and moon, wet and dry. He then made every ocean, inlet, river, sandbar, meadow, desert, mountain, icecap, and fjord: The struture of the world, its topography, and the geology that forms the core of this story were complete. By the morning of the twenty-sixth, the Thursday, God had seen to it that life had been begun, and by that evening every first microbe, newt, spider, serpent, eagle, cat, horse, and monkey had been duly set in place, to creep, crawl, swim, fly, leap, spring and deploy its opposable thumb to climb.
By the following day the botanical phyla were all in place: Every rain forest, grassland, savanna, peony, orchid, rose, palm, apple, pine, and daisy had been left on earth, contentedly to bloom. All of Milton's "rocks, caves, lakes, fens, bogs, dens" were now fully accumulated: An earthly paradise was set, ready to be lost.
And by the Saturday, most important of all, emerged those creatures who would lose it. The first two examples of ur-human, in the bipedal and upright (but otherwise subtly different from each other) forms of Adam and Eve, had been created in the Garden of Eden. They were at this stage blissfully unaware, of course, and therefore untroubled by the Fall (which would come later, via agency of the already created serpent and apple).
Recorded history would now formally begin. Human beings were in place, made in the image of their Maker, and they could do with their world more or less as they and their Maker between them pleased. Thus was it all done. Come midnight on the Saturday, with all this frantic labor done, the weary Divinity slept, having declared that all he had created was good, and fully ready to begin the adventuring he had ordained for it for the next six thousand years and more. *
- - - - -
* Few outside the world of rigid Christian fundamentalists the strict interpretation of James Ussher's arithmetic, which he explained in his monumental work of 1658, Annalis Veteris et Novi Testamenti. But nonetheless a 1991 survey showed that fully 100 million Americans still believed that "God created man pretty much in his own image at one time during the last ten thousand years" and anecdotal evidence now suggest that this number is climbing. ---"

Source: The Map That Changed The World by Simon Winchester

Zen and the art of sleeping

  

Quotes

If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you."
-- Don Marquis

"A minority is always compelled to think. That is the blessing of being in the minority."
-- Leo Baeck

Breathe in, breathe out...

I have to say that past two weeks, when my asthma symptoms have gotten much worse, have really made me understand how my mother's life has been when her asthma hasn't been in balance. And I have to say that you really can't do anything else than admire the fact that she has took care of three kids and has been able to work in irregular shifts - at one time she even studied a new degree while being shift working single mother of two underaged and having an inbalanced asthma. How she managed it is something I can't understand, I'm having difficulties to survive even now.

And why I am awake? I'm apparently having an attack and couldn't sleep longer than four and a half hours... (tachycardia is a wonderful thing. So, no coffee in the morning...)

The Quote

[to House] Dr. Cameron: I thought you were too screwed up to love anyone. I was wrong. You just couldn't love me.

...How I have grown to hate airplanes since last year, they are groaning out the pain I feel inside of me. Still.
They used to represent freedom, hope for better and now they just remind me of you, you, who ironically are the only man I could take back, but who'll never ask me to consider it. I know you don't believe in second or third changes, not anymore - and how I hope you had never been taught that by someone you loved...

I still remember what you wore that day, I still remember the softness of those leather benches in that cab we took from the airport and, to my horror, I still remember how your fingers felt in my hair and how soft your lips were.

I always said you were different. You are. It took me almost a year to get you out of my dreams and it will take forever and a day to get you out of my heart.

I still remember how you warned me about loving you because you are broken...

Will: You ever wonder what your life would be like if you uh..if you never met your wife?
Sean: What? Wonder if I'd be better off without her?
Will: No, no, no, I'm not saying, like, better off.
Sean: No.
Will: I didn't mean it like that.
Sean: It's all right. It's an important question. Becauseyou'll have bad times, but that'll always wake you up to the good stuffyou weren't paying attention to.
Will: And you don't regret meeting your wife?
Sean: Why? Because of the pain I feel now? Well, I got regrets, Will, but I don't regret a single day I spent with her.

Yeah, no regrets, but does it make me sound like a desperate idiot if I say that I am having a hard time because of the happiness I felt last year this time?
As I have said, it's not love that hurts, but missing someone... I don't know, it's kind of odd anyway... missing someone you have got over of. (At least I claim that you are over him... though, if I can think of a relatonship with someone else I can't be that badly mistaken... anyway.)

The Holy Trinity

Just to keep you "entertained" before I get back to my regularly scheduled stitching:

Her Highness and 2/3rds of her harem enjoying HH's collar-free life (she used to hit her boys with it and therefore they stayed away from her (mostly) for three weeks). (Those eyes of her make her look like a zombie, don't you think? (I have lived with her almost six years and still that red glow looks odd (comes with having blue eyes).))

The Quote

"To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so."
-- Robert Orben

Sparky has a wall!

The pumpkin on the right is modified. In the pattern said pumpkin frowns and taking the base idea behind this design and the general look of it I really couldn't understand a frowning pumpkin...
So, I opened my designing software and played a bit. I like this version of The Pumpkin much better. (Notice the cat on the crock!)

In addition to stitching...

... and taking care of Her Highness my weekend contained reading one book, a book which demanded to come home with me Wednesday (when I spent time in book store while waiting HH's operation to be over) despite its price (14,90€ which is way more than I usually pay for any book) and which wanted to be read as soon as possible, even though it actually had nothing I hadn't already knew in it. The book was "Antisemitism in Finland 1918- 1946" (its slightly modified version from a thesis).
One of those books everyone should read. (It saddens me that large percentage of the noisiest anti-semites were highly educated... and notable percentage of them were priests.)

If you are as interested of little tidbits of information as I am you may find it curious that one of Nazi Germany's "allies" had Jewish soldiers (and a field synagogue) during WWII: that country is Finland.
Nazis asked Finns to surrender our Jewish population, but prime minister of that time (J.W. Rangell) answered to Heinrich Himmler's request: "Wir haben keine Judenfrage". That was only time during the whole war when this topic was discussed.

Considering the facts we all know about Europe during WWII that is a real curiosity, and only few know about it.

Link of interest:

Jews in Finland during WWII

Stitcher reads quotes...

"It's a dangerous business going out your front door." (J.R.R. Tolkien) and stitcher adds "... - rather stay at home and stitch."

Booking Through Thursday

After a long, long break it's time for BTT...

Parlez vous?

Do you have any foreign language books and if so can you (still) read them?

Noticing that English is a foreign language to me I can say that I have books in several foreign languages: English, Russian, Hungarian, Hebrew, Swedish are the ones which come to mind, there may be others too.
I am fluent enough in English, I can still read some Russian (but probably not enough to get the idea of any book). At this point I can read Hebrew, but won't understand most of the words (ie. I know the writing marks and know how they are read), so to read a book in Hebrew... not a chance. When it comes to Swedish I would probably understand most of it, but I have to admit that I dislike Swedish as a language. And Hungarian... I don't know it well enough (I still remember how to order two beers though *grin*).

Quotes

"Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest."
-- Isaac Asimov

"Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead."
-- Charles Bukowski