Har har :P

"Did Noah keep his bees in archives?"

This, other truths and question and loads of great free fonts can be found from Font Garden

Chickens with personality disorders

They say you shouldn't laugh at serious matters. I've noticed that it may help you survive.

I found this while reading Holding the Mirror - The life of one Narcissistic Enabler. Site which I happened to find by accident while trying to find one feed.

• If the chicken crosses the road back and forth,repeatedly, while worrying about being hit to the point until it forgets which side it started on in the first place, it has Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder.
• If the chicken crosses the road in traffic because"they" are coming after it and "they" control the traffic lights - oh, and the cars are part of the plot to kill it too - then it has Paranoid Personality Disorder.
• If the chicken crosses the road against the light and then takes a baseball bat to every car that passes it, then it has Antisocial Personality Disorder.
• If the chicken crosses the road because it thinks all the other chickens are talking about its feathers and therefore its feathers must be ugly and it must hide from everyone, it has Avoidant Personality Disorder.
• If the chicken crosses the road so it can cause a huge melodramatic scene and get everyone's attention, it has Histrionic Personality Disorder.
• If the chicken is furious that he is abandoned to make the decision concerning when to cross the road alone and spends his day roaming back and forth manipulating other chickens into crossing when he tells them,the chicken is Borderline.
• If the chicken will not cross the road because there are other chickens across the street and stands there daydreaming about a glorious road in his imagination, he is Schizoid.
• If the chicken crosses the road and expects a marching band, reporters and hoards of adoring fans to be there to celebrate this achievement, it has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

My ex mother-in-law is a narcist, so I could say I know more than I should about this matter (not to mention that I married a man who was claimed to be Schizoid - turned out that he wasn't, he has Asperger's Syndrome. I should be thanked about that correction as I found out that things doesn't match.). Not to mention that I doubt that my father may have NPD...

Memes and links

I've got Booking Through Thursday email for some time but for reason or another haven't gave my view yet. So, now it's time for two.

Collecting authors (23rd of February, 2006)

Today's questions were suggested by Cate.

1. Are you currently collecting any authors? Why?
2. Do you have all of their books? If not, why not?
3. Did you buy all the books in the collection at the same time, or did you buy a book here, a book there?
4. Have you read the whole collection? If not, why not?

1. If we can call it collecting, yes I am. Stephen King, H.P.Lovecraft and Clive Barker mostly. Occasionally Agatha Christie or Douglas Adams. Their books just are more difficult to find from my favourite places: book sales.
   But why? I love King because his mind is as twisted as mine is - he writes like I'd like to be able to write (and he writes like my mind works).Lovecraft just is master of tentacle monsters - ok, his mind was twisted enough to write good horror. Clive Barker has interesting dark side too. Agatha Christie mainly because I love Poirot and Miss Marple, and Douglas Adams because his sense of humour was something... twisted enough to make me interested of sci-fi

2. No, I don't. King is way too productive, you can't find Lovecraft or Barker translated (or even in English) from local bookstores. Same with Christie and Adams, only heaven knows why.
   And of course there's one major reason: money.

3. As you may have concluded from previous answer I buy them here and there.

4. I've read every book I've those authors - most of them several times.

Beautiful books (16th of February, 2006)

This week's question, suggested by Jeanne, is here by popular demand. Thank you, ladies!

1. What is the most beautiful book you own?
2. In what way is it beautiful? Is it the illustrations, the binding, a combination of these, or something else?
3. How often do you look at it, browse through it, read it?

1. In fact all my books are beautiful. Sometimes I find myself staring at my bookshelf (either one in bedroom or one in living room) and just adoring my books.
   But as I've to choose I'd say that one in the top of the list is Dante's Divina Commedia. Mine is facsimile of book which has originally published in 1924.

2. As it's facsimile it's not as beautiful as original has been, but if you look it from distance it looks like having natural linen covers with black leaf ornamentations (In fact I'm not sure is that the word) and some gold to make it look effective.

3. I've to confess that I've never ever read it, but I occasionally do fondle it... like I do with all of my books.

Linking

Finnish proverbs for all curious ones

And then some... divine cooking.

I've to say that there's a spice I don't like.

Stitcher's Addiction

Copied from Jenna's blog:

Research Study

I have spent the better part of thirty years doing research and after thorough and exhaustive study I have finally gathered enough information to formulate and prove my theory. It can no longer be denied or disputed by physicians, Federal Government officials, or insurance companies. No, not even Blue Cross/Blue Shield!

Cross Stitching is a Disease!

Just as a drug user becomes addicted to his drugs so does the stitcher become addicted to her habit. Just as the drug addict requires more and more and specialized designer drugs so does the stitcher need more and more and specialized designs. And just as the drug addict will do anything for his next dose, a stitcher will indeed do anything for her next fix.

Point 1. When my research began, I started with Aida fabric and cotton floss. Simple basic x’s on simple basic designs. Then one day I was offered "evenweave" and then linen. Metallic thread was blended with the cotton threads and beads were added. Before I knew what was happening I was slipped "quarter stitches", "French knots", and the dreaded "lazy daisy". The progression was so slow that it was hardly noticeable until at present it is now hand-dyed fabric, silk threads, delica beads, specialty fibers, specialty stitches and quite challenging designs by ladies such as the Queen of the Blended Threads and the Chatelaine of the Gardens.

Point 2. When my research began, only those things were bought that were needed at the moment. But gradually things were purchased in advance of need. It was called "kitting" up a design. Then slowly one kit became two and three and more. Suddenly, without prior knowledge, the dresser filled and then the closet became full. Before long the spare bedroom became a stash room. Soon it became hiding packages from the spouse so he wouldn’t know just how much was spent. And now it is trying to see what can be sold to purchase more stash. My biggest concern is what will be next? Just like the drug addict, a stitcher must have her next fix!

Point 3. In order to relieve a stitcher from the burdens and stress of her addiction she must undergo extensive and exhaustive therapy. Usually this therapy is very expensive and not 100% effective. Like the drug addict, it is very easy to revert to old habits. And most stitchers feel that the treatment is worse than the problem.

Conclusions

1. I find that Cross Stitching is undeniably a disease and should be added to the Physicians Desk Reference as such.
2. There is no cure.
3. Although there is treatment for this disease, it is expensive and not often successful and therefore, most patients prefer to abstain.
4. Once diagnosed with this disease, employers, family members, and friends should be considerate of the stitcher’s needs and avoid confrontation and criticism.
5. Somebody needs to help me sell some stuff!

Sounds familiar, doesn't it..?

You know you've been too long in Finland when...

1. You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to garbage.

2. As you walk past the Parliament Building in Helsinki, and see the statues is titled "Svinhufvud" you no longer read it as "Swinehead" ... instead you think "What a good Swedish name!"

3. When a stranger on the street smiles at you:


a. you assume he is drunk
b. he is insane
c. he's a Dutch


4. You don't think twice about putting the wet dishes away in the cupboard to dry.

5. A friend asks about your holiday plans and you answer "Oh, I'm going to Europe!" meaning any other Western European country outside Scandinavia.
6. You no longer scrunch up or fold your paper money. You always put your money in your wallet.

7. You see a student taking a front row seat and wonder "Who does he think he is!!??"

8. Silence is fun.

9. The reason you take the ferry to Stockholm is:

a. duty free vodka
b. duty free beer
c. to party heartily...no need to get off the boat in Stockholm, just turn around and do it again on the way back to Finland.

10. Your coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups a day and coffee is too weak if there is less than 10 scoops per pot.

11. You pass a grocery store and think "Wow,it is open, I had better go in an buy something!"

12. Your native language has seriously deteriorated, now you begin to "eat medicine", "open the television", "close the lights off", stay "by" somebody and tell someone "you needn't to!"
Expressions like "Don't panic"creep into your everyday language.

13. You associate pea soup with Thursday.

14. Your idea of unforgivable behavior now includes walking across the street when the light is red and there is no WALK symbol, even though there are no cars in sight.

15. Your notion of street life is reduced to the few teenagers hanging out in front of the railway station on Friday nights.

16. Your bad mood becomes your good mood.

17. Sundays no longer seem dull with all the stores closed, and begin to feel restful instead.

18. "No comment" becomes a conversation strategy.

19. You finally stop asking your class "Are there any questions?"

20. The fact that all of the "v's" and the "w's" are together in the phone directory seems right. (you "vatch a wideo")

21. Your old habit of being "Fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.

22. Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay.

23. You begin to understand Jussi Jyylanpaarvi's broadcast of the hockey game.

23. You refuse to wear a hat, even in -30 degree weather.

24. You hear loud-talking passengers on the train. You immediately assume:

a. they are drunk
b. the are Swedish-speaking
c. they are Americans
d. all of the above.

25. You give up on trying to find fat-free food and pile on the butter, cream and sugar.

26. You know how to fix herring in 105 different ways.

27. You eat herring in 105 different ways.

28. You no longer look at sports pants as casual wear, but recognize them as semi-formal wear.

29. You can now reconstruct the missing letters on a building. For example MERI.........LIITTO OY.

30. You have undergone a transformation:

a. you accept mustamakkara (Black-blood sausage) as food
b. you accept alcohol as food
c. you accept.

31. You understand why the Finnish language has no future tense.

32. You no longer have to search for the flushing mechanism.

33. You no longer see any problem wearing white socks with loafers.

34. You no longer correct people who say MAC Donald's.

35. You just love Jaffa.

36. You've come to expect Sunday morning sidewalk vomit dodging.

37. You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed."

38. You enjoy salmiakki.

39. You know that "mens public bathroom" is another phrase for sidewalk.

40. You know that more than three channels means cable.

41. You get all the Swedish jokes.

42. When you're hungry you can peel a boiled potato like lightning.

43. You've become lactose intolerant.

44. You accept that 80 degrees C in a sauna is chilly, but 20 degrees C outside is freaking hot.

45. You have "flu" as soon as you sneeze

46. YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIVE ANYWHERE BUT IN FINLAND!

Great excuses.

I don't know where she got this, but "Thanks" to Selina. Good excuses for stash collectors (though I edited this a bit) - some go with other addictions too:

• It’s a patriotic duty to support the cotton farmers, textile mills, and needlework shops.

• "Oh, it's not for me! I'm buying it for a friend!"

• It's on sale.

• It's non-fattening.

• Like dust, it's good for protecting previously empty spaces in the house.

• Because it's there.

• It's much cheaper to cover the floor with charts and kits than new carpeting.

• The devil made you do it.

• It's the only remotely artistic thing I have ever done.

• I can't live without it.

• I have new shelves for stash storage.

• It will go with some I bought last year.

• It's so pretty, and I'll use it some day.

• I want my daughter to have a proper inheritance.

• Without threads and fabric, I would have nothing to do with my needles and my hoops/frames and my scissors.

• It does not promote tooth decay.

• It calms the nerves, gratifies the soul and makes one feel good.

• If I don't buy it now, I may never see it again.

• A large stash is the sign of a creative mind.

• I owe myself a reward for that half-pound I lost last month.