Wednesday 16 December 2009

1999: Exotism?


There is certain form of prejudice, which makes me annoyed quite... well, too often.

For some reason (too) many people seem to think that someone who seems to date exclusively out of their own ethnicity/ culture is purposely looking for someone "exotic" and disregard the possibility that one can be interested about everything else but person's ethnicity or culture of origin. (Like, even it is a shocking idea, their personality and core values.)

And why aren't they assuming such things (purposely looking for....) when someone is dating exclusively their own ethnicity/ culture?

As an example: when I dated exclusively Finns, no one ever asked why I do it or assumed anything based on it. It was obviously supposed that I would, being a Finn myself, date men of Finnish origin. And coming to think of it, it is a disturbing thought. (Though I find many things disturbing - and my regular readers know that people assuming things is one of my thousands of pet peeves.)
Whereas when dating men of non-Finnish origin I have encountered certain assumption of exotism.

Though, the assumption of exotism is yet another proof that people are basically eerily similar in their ways to think: coming from all ethnicities, genders, cultures etc. it could be considered as a refreshing experience - as long as you keep the whole issue out of your personal life.

I mostly encountered following during the single period between 2006 - 2008, mainly because that was the longest period I have ever been without relationship in my adult life: many men seemed to have this urge to know had a woman they found attractive ever been with a man of enquirer's ethnicity - and I found it extremely annoying. Why it would matter had I or had I not? There is no way to know about how it would be with person X if you have dated person Y even if they were of same ethnicity and/or culture so why would it matter? Or is this just all about I-want-to-be-the-first-man-of-X-in-your-life syndrome? (One of the many reasons why I love Mr. Wonderful was that He never asked such a thing - but He is a practical man: he doesn't care about who I have been with before Him, He just wants to be the last man in my life (yet another thing we have in common). )

Interestingly enough this was mostly a phenomenon of dating sites, regardless, or because of it, my profiles always stating that I was open for contact regardless person's ethnicity.
Admittedly during that time I had a profile at one site which was more or less focused on people who were looking for interracial relationship... maybe it fooled some to assume things about my preferences even though my only reason to register there, or any other dating site, was to expand my search as I was very aware that it's more likely for me to find a life partner, my future Husband, from somewhere else than Finland.
This was as much statistical as it was (and is) a cultural issue - being brought up outside my "native" culture made me a dating outcast in this homogenous society.

But I digress.

Those who have read my blog are aware of the issues I have had with my father regarding his obvious assumption of my exotistic character and/or his obvious issues with people of any other ethnicity/ culture than his... nothing more to say about him, though I am not eagerly waiting for his comments about Mr. Wonderful's ethnicity/ culture/ etc. and tons of more assumptions of me being with Mr. Wonderful because [add bazillion stereotypes here], not because I actually love and respect my Man as a person.

Interestingly enough many, if not all of them, men I have been in a relationship with since I broke up with Dan (now isn't that a civilized way to say after our separation and divorce? *g*) have considered me "exotic" because of my fair skin, blue eyes and ethnicity.
And surprisingly it has never bothered me to be the the subject of exotism, as long as it has been positive - but I also know that my looks, exotic or not, hasn't been the main factor of intrest in me, just an added bonus.

Slightly Off-Topic

This all actually reminds me of an interesting visit to hairdresser earlier this month: I was having having my hair cut and chatting with the hairdresser when Mr. Wonderful called me. We happily chatted for a while on the phone and after the call hairdresser's first comment was "Oh, is he ENGLISH?!" with such a tone that you could imagine that she had been about ten years younger and had just been asked out by Brad Pitt or whoever is hot at the moment. A school example of real exotism.
Her tone soon changed after she asked could she see His picture, which I showed because I have His picture as my cell wallpaper and even we had been talking about me and Him before that the topic somehow changed after that... Basically I can't understand why. Maybe she was so awed because of my Wonderful's gorgeousness (I know I would have been, but I guess I am kind of biased).

(If I was mean I would assume it was his ethnicity that made her silent. (For those of you who wonder about the whole ethnicity of an Englishman thing, He is black Brit, whereas people often seem to assume (in these latitudes) that English people are all fair to the level of paleness and no true Englishman/ Finn/ you-name-it can be any darker than piece of A4, regardless the history of the world and people's tendency to immigrate.))

But still, in general I am not saying that there weren't many, many people who simply don't give rat's a** about who someone is involved with and many, many people who don't give that same part of a rodent about someone's origins.

Thursday 10 December 2009

1998: Giveaway reminder, Very Good Things and stuff


First I would like to remind all my stitchy friends about the AMAZING giveaway here at my little blog.

Very Good Things

As some of you may have noticed I have been celebrating certain event in near future at Facebook and also in form of a little ticker on top of my blog...

We found a way to get reasonably priced tickets for Mr. Wonderful (as for some funny reason tickets are cheaper when purchased from here - of course purchasing them online always helps) and... He is coming home for the holidays!

Though the bad news is that he has to return Spain in January to wait for The Papers. Gah. And from there He travels to Nigeria for a while, luckily His brother arranges the tickets for Him.
Which is good news, and in the end we pay for all the plane tickets (Spain-Finland-Spain, Spain-Nigeria-Spain) 80€ which is very good news. (Rough estimation of the whole cost, had we paid them ourselves, is appr. 1100€ ($1,621)...)

Knowing that He is coming home has made me go ga-ga. Had I the money I would redecorate whole apartment for holidays, but I guess it's lucky that I don't have the money, so I have just bought little things... like gorgeous satin bedsheets.

But I am waiting to cook Him all the Finnish Yule specialties and I guess we will have more food than we need when I am done.

Dear Santa

I have been a good girl (ermm... well, relatively) and all I want for Yule is my Wonderful and this:

All I can say is:

I got curious and just checked that the design, accessory pack and postages would be only 45.5€! I may be tempted... even more if I get more money on 15th than I anticipated (I will get rest of my holiday pay (actually rest of the payment for returning from your yearly holiday - funny term, and thought) in addition to my wage) - but that would mean getting 1300€ (because there are bills to pay and stuff) and I really don't think it will happen (I am paid twice a month, which makes it highly unlikely to get such sum after taxes even though I get rest of my holiday pay).

Spain is not all THAT bad

After everything nasty I may have said or thought about Spanish system I wish to voice out that there is at least one good thing in there (in addition to my Wonderful): money transfers through bank from .es to .fi are much faster than from .fi to .es - though it is also more expensive in there.

Basically money transfers within EU should cost only as much as they would cost within the country of origin because, like people and things, money should be able to move freely within Union area. BUT when I make EU transfer at bank counter it is 30 cents and when the same thing is done in Spain it's 3 € - admittedly it is also faster, though I was just thinking that transfers to Spain may take three days (instead of appr. 1 from there to here) because Spanish banks want to make money with the interest as it is stated that EU transfers can, but should not exceed (otherwise one is applicable for some kind of refund, afaik), take as long as three days.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that local banks wouldn't do the same thing, but obviously they like to play that trick with local transfers: I noticed one day that even my pay came ~00:45 and all the bills which were due that day were taken from my account, but still showed in my "Confirmed Future Payments" until 8 am when bank day started.
And transfers between banks (companies, not locations) take 1-2 days even though the payments could be made instantly with modern technology.
But then, I don't pay much service fees so I don't mind that too much. As long as I get my money.

But, now I have to head to get our satin sheets from the post office. See you later. ^^

Sunday 6 December 2009

1997: A Happy Dance


Yes, you DID read right! A HD! Ohmigosh etc.!

Tidbits:

  • Design: Poinsettia Star
  • Designer: Lady Periphaeria of Periphaeria Designs
  • Fabric: 32 count charcoal grey linen.
There hasn't been too many of these lately...

Thursday 3 December 2009

1996: Sweet Dreams Cranky Old Lady


Another furry Personality has moved to greener pastures.

Maila, aka. Pimu, aka. Mimmi ?.6.1994 - 3.12.2009
(She was my mom's so I don't know her exact DOB.)

Had she lived over Christmas she had been older than Her Highness was when she was put to sleep. It's suspected that she suffered from the same illness which took Ronja: kidney failure.

Wednesday 2 December 2009

1995: Stitchy Giveaway

I thank those of you who voted and now... it's time to announce a giveaway to celebrate snowprincipessa's 2000th entry!

There is one set of unpublished needleroll and biscornu design by Lady Periphaeria up for grabs. I will keep you in suspense, being the evil person I am, but if you love summer, sun, dragonflies and bees you will love them!

Here is a colour swatch for you....

The spiel is simple: there is one (1) lucky winner (unless I decide to be nice *evil grin*) and all the comments with email address (as I will email the designs) posted to this entry in this particular blog (not to the feeded entry in Facebook)before my 2000th entry apply.

Posters of published comments agree to respect my copyrights of the objects given in this giveaway and will not copy or share the designs involved by any means (except by stitching, of course! ).

So, what are you waiting for? Comment with your email address and you may be the lucky winner! Feel free to also tell about this to your friends!

And now I am off to eat and then trying to finish my mother's holiday gift (which will be a complimentary design, btw.)