Odd good sides

I think that having a firm infertility background makes person to enjoy pregnancy even more.
Being a member in one family forum I have noticed that many pregnant women can't sleep even on these weeks (22+2) when the baby is kicking, whereas I find it remarkably soothing, and on the evenings when Baby Wonder has his (yes, we have a boy guesstimation (midwife wasn't sure, but she thought she saw something in "there") and I have felt like having a boy since those two lines) kickboxing practises I fall asleep in no time. Though it seems that we are more morning person in there already...

And to my surpise the only thing I dislike in being pregant is this killer hunger I'm having nowadays. I could eat a cow when I have those hunger attacks... Heartburn, ligament pains and such are just minor things and don't actually even bother me (yes, I am insane).

Let's say that by now I enjoy this so immensely that I could do this again in near future .

Maternal instincts

Yesterday I had a stubborn bronchospam and I had to head to ER and my only worry was that Baby Wonder gets enough oxygen, no matter do I get enough of it after BW has taken his share.
Luckily my oxygen saturation was good when I arrived the ER and while waiting (3 hours) I was deliriously happy about that aerobics lesson taking place in my womb. I guess people looked at me a bit long, but let them look.

To my surprise I have bronchitis, again, despite lack of "real" symptoms. And even more sick leave (it started on Wedneday and now I'm off this week too). Maybe I find time and energy to finish one hat I started for BW.

November, designs and thyroid

November isn't my kind of month, I guess. I have been on sick leave last week with varying diagnoses. It started with viral infection and asthma, then went to asthma and now we are back to viral infection and asthma... but I think I am finally getting better, at least I am coughing less, now that I was prescribed HC cough syrup to stop the cough (ethylene morphine hydrochloride and rum, sounds like fun, right?).
Which is nice actually, I haven't been able to talk normally since I got sick because I have been out of breath. In addition to that I haven't slept much and have coughed too much.

Apparently it was a viral infection making my asthma go worse, that cramping my bronchi and cramps causing me to keep on coughing (and panting if I had to talk) even though my bronchi are ok. (And "funnily" my asthma was once again questioned by a doctor. It's fun to have abnormal levels of normal in so many things.)

Funny thing is that this is third year in a row when I have prolonged sick leave in the beginning of November. Last year it was that crazy three weeks fever...

But there is silver lining in everything

Because I have been tied to bed/ sofa whole week lacking energy and inability to have much social contact with anyone I have stitched a bit and designed a lot. (The best way to deal with insomnia is to forget it and spend the time not spent sleeping well.)

Actually stitching a bit is the reason for why I have been designing a lot as I fell in love with the colour scheme I used with the ornament exchange item and things kind of evolved from there to a point where I have now designed two, gorgeous (even I say so myself), complementing samplers.
And I have to admit that I have a plan for the smaller one, a SAL plan. (Actually only thing I need to do it to decide when...)

Did I forgot to mention?

I got great news regarding my thyroid in October: we have medicational balance!

Officially I am slightly hyper, but as I am feeling good (no jitters) my endo said it's not an issue.

What surprised me was that it took only 4,5 months to get there. (Actually I think my endo was surprised too as my bloodwork really crashed in six weeks, from TSH 2.7 + T4 18.3 to "whopping" TSH 0.19 (0.4 - 4) + T4 21.4 (11-21).)

Now it finally feels that my hormone levels are really getting where they should be as this is really the first time when my ankles aren't swollen after standing on my feet whole day and when my throat actually looks something like normal person's throat... and sometimes I even feel attached to things happening around me. That hasn't happened in quite a while.

On a negative side my wedding ring is getting loose and I hate the thought of having to have it made smaller as it would ruin the carvings inside. And I am emotionally attached to that lovely piece of jewelry, I don't want to lose a bit of it.

But now, after being awake for 20 hours I think it is time to start another day and hope that when the time comes later today I could actually sleep at night.

Ta-ta.

30 days later

Oh yes, I am very much alive. I have just entered the phase which is said to be nasty to most people, one month of medication, and hence I am quite... tired. Though I would imagine that my problem is mostly that Mr. Wonderful traveled to Nigeria and I simply have not been sleeping too well. As usual.
It's also possible that I have started to take my thyroxine too late and stay awake until early hours because of that, but I would bet on lack of my Wonderful. I have never been good on falling asleep or sleeping soundly throughout the night when He is not by my side.

And of course I obviously need higher dose of thyroxine, but... I really shouldn't up the dosage before I get blood drawn in August.

Regardless, I love the stuff, which obviously means that my thyroid is not ok. Actually I foresee quite a high dosage eventually which means that my thyroid is either very dysfunctional (not literally dead, not yet at least) or my body just needs more of the hormone, for reason or another... but on a brighter note, I may be able to FINALLY lower my cortisone intake!

I noticed this within last two weeks as I wasn't taking my asthma meds as often as I was supposed to and used officially empty (the magic with easyhalers is that they are not empty at that point, the manufacturer just does not quarantee correct dosages at that point) easyhaler without any symptoms of worsening asthma. Pre-thyroxine me would have been hospitalized by now.
There has also been drastic change in my allergies: I have taken like five tablets within whole month of June, whereas back in old times I would have took approximately 60 by now from June 1st... AND the best bit is that my thyroid medication actually has corn starch in it and there are no issues, taking that I take it carefully (if it touches my lips there are symptoms).

Crossed stitches

I have been stitching, have two biscornus almost finished, but I haven't got around ironing and finishing them yet. I blame work for that: no matter how great evenings are because of the extra pay they kind of limit the things you have energy for outside work.

But, I took this weekend off as my birthday is tomorrow (yikes, I am 31 soon! ) and have decided to wake up early tomorrow (3rd) and spend the whole day... stitching and watching DVDs (and eating something less healthy *grin*).

I think that sounds like a great plan.

Maybe I have the energy tomorrow (after yet another day of coming home just before 1 am... from work) to post about the loveliness Jenna sent me, too!

Wonderful

I am not sure have I ever said that He is a real sweetheart? If not there it came.
I have an interesting feeling that now that we are married He is treating me even better than before - which is of course how it should be - He even cooked some food (tuna sauce (He makes the best tuna sauce ever) and okazi soup) for me "for a bad day" before He traveled, which He has never done before (well, intentionally).
(Or maybe He has found out that Nigerian food has become my comfort food and it is easier for me to cope with it - when I had the suspected Swine I craved for egusi soup...)

Alive, sick and waiting for January

I have suffered from mild URI from last week and being work-a-holic I have been working as I had no fever. Few days ago I jokingly said to one of my co-workers that I will surely get sick when I have my days off...
Well, unfortunately that was true and yesterday morning I went to see a doctor as I was coughing quite badly.

Result of that visit was sick leave to 22nd for viral upper and lower respiratory infections and course of antibiotics because I am asthmatic and in greater risk to catch bacterial infection, and because I was already coughing yellow sputum (sign of bacterial infection).

Getting suitable antibiotics was a quest itself: it took half an hour for the pharmacist and my doctor to find suitable one for me because of my allergies...

So, finally I have some time for finer things of life, but not the energy because those antibiotics make me sleepy.

Anyway, I am glad to announce you that I will be off from 9th to 12th (rather 13th as I come back late) of January because I go to Malaga to see Mr.Wonderful.

Yes, only for a weekend, but we thought it's better than not seeing at all for G-d knows how long period.

Learning to be reasonable

I realised yesterday that it is not reasonable from me to stress about the ornament set I have been model stitching for quite some time with an intention to get them published this year. Even though my goal was to get them out this year so much have happened since I started stitching them that I simply have to accept the fact that I am not a machine, only a human.

There's always next year and good things are worth waiting for (and they are, even I say so, gorgeous).

This decision has freed me to think of the designs of next year and I know what I am going to model stitch next: a cute Valentine's Day design which I have wanted to stitch since I designed it - all three versions of it.

I want to know what's wrong with me!

My health issues continue and current ones are rather scary... I almost choked this morning when coughing, twice, and because of this I went to ER. Like that had been a good idea, quite contrary: the doctor honestly said to me that she has not idea nor means to check what's wrong with me (that is a hospital, for Pete's sake!) so she prescribed antibiotics and stronger asthma medication for me - no use, it's Father's Day and I couldn't find a pharmacy which had been open.
I decided to go to my mother's, just in case I get another choking attack and bronchodilator isn't helpful - as it is quite difficult to call an ambulance when you can't breathe.

When I came here I took some terbutaline, which used to cause nasty twitching, and to my surprise I feel quite fine now (I do still cough, but for now my larynx has been behaving) - I just hope this continues and I don't need to have another panic attack in the morning because I simply can't breathe...

Regardless, I am going to book a doctor's appointment through my employer's health care plan (private sector has the fun side that they do have interest towards you because you, or in this case your employer, pay good money for them).

Didn't I say something?

I saw a doctor in Monday... In his opinion there was nothing in wrong with me (despite my erratic breathing and high fever), but the doctor ordered some basic blood tests.

I called my results in Tuesday and even though my CRP was completely normal (keep this in mind for the rest of this entry) my white cell count and other infection indicator were up so the nurse thought that it might be an idea if a doctor calls me.
She called and because of my blood test results she wanted to listen my lungs and take my peak flow before prescribing anything.
So, in Wednesday morning I booked an acute appointment and despite my peak flow being 600l/ min (my normal is nowadays 650l/min) my lungs sang the song of infection which lead to a course of antibiotics and sick leave until 3rd of November (that is the last day off) because I have... bronchitis.

So, when I am one step from pneumonia my CRP is completely normal. This is another oddity that runs in the family: my mother has the same interesting feature in her body (though it can be caused by asthma medication as cortisone is anti-inflammatory drug) and I am sure I will have some fun times in future because of this...

Anyway, 11 days after I first noticed being sick my fever is finally getting lower, albeit slowly. Today (or yesterday actually, but my circadian rhythm has suffered a bit from the medication as it (in addition to coughing my lungs out) makes me sleeeeeeeeepy) I haver actually felt almost alive again...

First of September and it's barely over +10 °C.

First of September and I go from no coat to winter coat and scarf, because it's so cold out there that I can't manage without.

First sign of apparent winter season was that I had to lift my cortisone dose back to prescribed level (1,6 mg) as my lungs just couldn't take the chilliness anymore and the inflammation spread.

I think I am getting old.

Few bits

Still alive, nothing much to tell, only few interesting tidbits:

1. I filled the follow-up forms for depression and anxiety day before yesterday. My BDI score has plummeted from 15 to 7 in about 1½ months.
2. I was visiting my mother yesterday and after taking bronchodilator (it was an extremely dry day, very bad for my lungs) I decided to use her meter and measure my peak flow. It was majestic 700 litres/ minute! Remember that I have an obstructive, chronic lung disease and the median for a woman of my age and height is 440.
   Therefore my lung capacity is 159%. (This probably means that my lung function is recovering.)
3. I have found an excellent combination for workout: goth metal and Stephen King's books.
   If I only watch DVDs or listen only music I can't train more than 20- 30 minutes because I begin to feel too exhausted... when I listen to goth metal and read I can do as much as 64 minutes.
4. My pulse rate bothers me: it seems to be almost impossible to keep it over 140, even less at 160 which should be the best pulse rate for excercise.
5. It seems that caffeine blocks the effect of sertraline: when I drink decaf I am much more energetic than when I drink regular coffee and the meds seem to work better.

The blue scheme? I noticed one day that eLJay's trademark colour scheme was quite nice and soothing so I figured out the colour codes and edited my template.

SII, I love you!

I checked my info from SII's site (yes, they have online service too, works with online banking PINs): Chronic asthma bronchiale, the decision has been made yesterday and the document has been mailed to me today.

This means... I get special reimbursement for my asthma medication! (Note that SII knows about my cats, as my GP did mention it in the documentation.)

Stress induced hypertension anyone?

I upped the sertraline to 150 mg/d and all the sudden my systolic pressure has decreased almost 40 units from what is was at its worst and diastolic has gone down 15 units.
My blood pressure is still slightly elevated, even though it seems to me that it's dropping fast: yesterday I measured 146/86, today it was 135/85.

On other health related good news I have been able to lower my daily cortisone dose without any problems in breathing front, so things are getting better - and my GP can think what he wants about my cats.

Wellness

Well well... my sugars are normal.

My blood pressure on the other hand is still elevated and followed.

My GP also gave me a lecture of how I should get rid of the cats to improve my asthma. Guess will I?
Exactly. I base my opinion on the good care recommendations, which state that if asthmatic person has pets and gets no clear symptoms of them they shouldn't give the away. (And who would take four elderly cats, I ask you.)
And then, there's no guarantee that it would lessen my need for cortisone. If I were to give them away, or - even worse - put them to sleep, and then there weren't change in my condition guess how bad it would be for my mental health?

He promised to give the lecture again in 14th when I meet him again.

SAT epilogue and Crotty

Managed one goal, partially. The biscornu is now stitched, it still needs to be assembled.
I blame on sleeping too much (sleeping a day in a row is, by definition, too much.)

Crotty bloomed last two weeks and the flowers looked really good this time - the first edition was a bit lame compared to this one. (The picture is from the beginning of the blossoming phase.)

I am not blossoming and I really hope the friggin' medication doesn't worsen my asthma permanently. If this bronchospam stays for few days the medicine has to be changed... I am not going to use bronchodilator daily as my asthma was behaving beautifully before sertralin.

On the good side I slept only 7 hours last night and I feel like stitching! (Yeah, I know. It should not affect yet - but it does.)

1780

You know how it goes... there is a finishing method you have wanted to try for a while and then someone decides to organize an exchange for that spesific finish...
This means that I have now stitched one humbug on light fabric (I love how it came out) and am still to stitch another one, with the same design and same floss, on dark fabric.
And of course, being me, I have designed the design I use (actually I have also dyed one of the fabrics I use), and, just to make it fun, I have designed additional pieces while stitching the first one and it is becoming a series...

I see the series stitched with certain Crescent Colours' silk on flax Newcastle - just when I had swore to myself to stay away from flax linen for a while.
It's good to have my creativity back, but I'd rather transfer some of the energy to be used in the tasks of life, at least for a while as I am seriously lacking mental energy...

Though, I have surprised myself by doing some serious spring cleaning (it doesn't look like it yet as I have also reorganized my living room, again) and not suffering from it too badly - I still can't stand long time physical activities without straining myself somewhat, but I am doing way better than I was last year about this time (last year this time I couldn't lift one 20 kg pellet sack (hardware stores sell wooden pellet used for heating and grocery stores sell the same wooden pellet as kitty litter... guess which one is WAY cheaper? *grin*) and nowadays I have no problems to lift them up while cleaning the litter box).
Admittedly my lungs sound worse under physical stress than they did last year this time, but I think it may be because my lungs are better now. (As odd as it sounds one of the symptoms of severe asthma can be that you can't wheeze because your airways are so obstructed.)

If I just have enough energy tomorrow I may actually be able to clean the place up. Then there's only left reorganizing the bedroom, washing windows and pile of carpets - maybe I can finally use my carpets now that Masa is castrated.

And... as I can't show you my happy dance piece I will leave you with a picture from last summer:

Stash saves the day!

(Firstly: Angela, I am working on the YMMD, but neither of my brain cells function properly at the moment.)

My first order from Hand-dyedfibers.com came!

The timing couldn't have been better: my asthma has been behaving badly last days - today it decided to freak out completely - and I needed a lift-up.

The colours look just what I anticipated, so I can say right now that the DMC-HDF conversion table Vikki has created is very accurate - but DMC can never look this pretty...

And some stitchy content with SBQ

Happy dance №7

And as shocking it is I may have the designs ready to be emailed to Jenna day after tomorrow latest... O_o (Remember, the next launch is in Valentine's Day!)

And I still suffer from insomnia caused by creative activity, no matter how much I wanted to sleep - and it shows in my peak flows, last two mornings have been bad in comparison to the previous week. I wouldn't wonder if the doctor would want to check my medication and either up the dosage or change the cortisone completely.
Though, last night's streak was quite a pleasant one (started from one tiny motif I had in my head and evolved to a pile of sketches).

But to the regularly scheduled memesy: this week's

Stitching Bloggers' Question

was suggested by Kathryn and is:

Are there other crafts that you have tried and abandoned? Why do you like stitching better?

I used to be a knitter in my teens and I actually wanted to become a knitted garment designer when I was young. (Well, I became an artisan of textile designing and manufacturing, but majored in weaves and weaving techniques, and ten years later begun to use my skills for good in form of cross stitch designing...)
Nowadays my issue with knitting is that... I have became very easily bored and I always had issues with not being able to make anything too detailed with knitting needles, no matter how small.
In theory I do still like knitting and would like to do it more often, but those tiny crosses just seem to be more suitable to my anal character...

No wonder I feel so much better nowadays

When my peak flow was metered last time my morning flow was around 400 l/ min, usually under it (woman of my age and height should have around 440 l/ min). After four months of cortisone my morning flow has improved "a bit" and is closer to 600 l/ minute.
Asthma? In me? Oh, never, my lungs just react to cortisone treatment like asthmatic lungs should react.

The funny thing? The doctor who decides about my asthma diagnose at SII (a doctor who has never seen me is the one who decides am I really sick and can I get the 75% reimbursement of my medication - my GP can only state that he recommends the diagnose based on his experience on me and my symptoms) may decide that I am not asthmatic based on one little detail: my peak flow is way too good for an asthmatic female when I am properly medicated...
Well, let's see.

Surprising advantages of asthma medication...

I happened to stumble upon this article while trying to find out is there some connection between cortisol levels and polycystic ovary syndrome.
My reason for the thought was that my cycle has got shorter and more balanced - and in addition to that I am almost PMS free, which, for a PCOs woman is a small wonder as we often have prolonged and worsened PMS - after I started cortisone inhalations.

Cortisol is an insulin antagonist, and according to the article (and the research) too low cortisol levels effect negatively to the testosterone production in ovaries... both problematic hormones for a PCOs woman.

Let me remind you why this all is such a good news: if the cycle is ~30 days or shorter it's likely that the woman ovulates regularly.
To most women it's obvious, even a nuisance, to some, like myself, it's something unbelievably great... For me it means that I may have the possibility to become a mother (even better: without any help from medical industry) some day.

The Plan

I do love the strong euro as it makes shopping so much cheaper.
Last night I finally got fed up with the continuous sinus problems and as I have heard good things about Neti pots I decided to give it a try.

I chose stainless steel after reading Jalanetipot.com's material comparison and ordered this baby:

It's interesting really: every time when I have had a flu, and nowadays just sinus problems, I have wanted to wash the sinus blockage away with salt water... I just hadn't heard about Neti pots and saline baths for sinuses before this year.
Human body seems to know what's good for it, hopefully. At least I am really waiting to give the Neti a try.

A sad, sad thing...

I have suffered from bouts of sinusitis symptoms few times after The Flu (took two weeks) and I finally managed to deduce the cause of it: chocolate!
Milk chocolate to be precise, as milk increases the mucus production (asthmatics should avoid dairy in all its forms) and in my current state it seems to be enough to block my right maxillary sinus. (Though I am dead sure that part of this is caused by the dust from the pistachios my mother and bits_2_whole ate last night.)
Now I just need to wait few days and eat some dark chocolate and hope it won't cause similar symptoms... (As I have used chocolate as a sleeping draft lately.)

And Masa has recovered well from his tiny operation, though he's still a bit sleepier than normally (but isn't that how castrated toms should be: lazy asses? *grin*).

^^

I had an appointment with my GP in Friday and he left me kind of baffled.
Why he left me bafled probably tells quite much about the quality of the public healthcare: he simply asked how I am doing.

When a GP shows concern you really should draw a cross into a wall (this is how we say it), because that just does not happen.
I am beginning to think that part of my recovery is just having a GP like that: it helps to have a doctor who actually shows concern towards the patient. It makes you feel like a sane person when you have a illness which does not show, and in a culture where being (sick is being weak and being) weak is a big no-no it feels good to actually notice that the one person who takes care of your health really wants to do so.
I could SO marry that man (even his wife would oppose it).

The recovery? I can happily announce you that I have got my physical endurance back. Yesterday, when going to bits_2_whole's birthday (it's actually today: Happy birthday sis!) I decided to be lazy and instead of waiting a bus X took a bus Y which took me 1½ kilometres from our mother's place and walk the rest of it - as a test of my current condition.
It was a chilly and humid day, but yet I managed to walk 1½ kms in my normal, preasthma, speed (which meant that I was there earlier than I had been if I had been a lazy ass and waited for the bus). My breathing was a bit faster than usually when I arrived, but there was no need for bronchodilator spite of the walk in cold.
The G-d is in the details, as certain someone once said to me, and in this case just a notion of becoming what you once were feels good - opposed to that 4 kms/ 2 hours and few days of bed rest speed I encaged during summer.

And first time in long time I had hope that some day I can actually lower my cortisone dosage as the inflammation is getting under control.

I also find it interesting that my physical fitness apparently hasn't suffered from immobility of six months...