It ain't pretty, but ain't it the truth?

When I was contemplating on leaving Tiny's father I had a thought about changing Tiny's surname to protect him from his father (after getting full custody). Then I started to think that in the end it's not my decision, but if Tiny wants to change his own name when he is older I will let him do it...

But lately I have been re-thinking about it and I have come to conclusion that usually children don't carry sperm donor's surname... as that is all Tiny's father has been to him based on how things have been and how they seem to be.
If his father has no interest towards his son he is, in my opinion, nothing else but a sperm donor I am married to. If his father considers his own ego more important than his son's well being and happiness he is nothing but a sperm donor. And hence my son should, when I get full custody, have my surname.

Admittedly it would also be easier for us if we had same surname (as I am taking my maiden name back) and as my maiden name sounds European (vs. his Nigerian surname) it would help improve Tiny's possibilities in this country. Even though his first name and my maiden name make him sound Italian, but in here it isn't as bad as having an African surname - as let's face it: there are rotten eggs everywhere.

It would also make it easier when he goes to kindergarten and from there to school. There would hopefully be fewer preconceptions about things - even though fact is that there will be such as Tiny won't grow up looking like your average Finnish child, but then nothing about him is average (at least if you ask from me ).

I know Tiny's father will have some nasty opinions about me, but I can live with that. If he had one non-egoistic bone in him that would not happen, but you will sleep in the bed you make...

Places to go, people to eat...

...and too much House M.D..

• Péri, Montjoie-en-Couserans, France
• Peri, Corsica, France
• Peri, Dolcè VR, Italy
• Peri, Sierra Leone

...and of course: Peri, and the Coat of Arms.

And then she lost her marbles

I still remember the day when I stumbled upon Yad Vashem's site for the first time - I was looking for Peris, because I need to know where we are from to build up my identity as no one seem to know where we come from (as far as I know my mother only knows where her father's (as some of you know I have my mother's maiden name i.e. her father's name) parents were from and that's all..) and who we are.
I typed in the surname and didn't actually expect to get any results... 'Results of search for victims whose family name is 'Peri': 61.
People who share(d) my rare surname. People, who were killed by hatred...

I have to say that I was shocked - and I am shocked. And the knowledge made me even more aggressive against all discrimination.
Nowadays... even I know now that I get hits with my surname, even I have seen those names before I cry for them because through the name they give the real face to the Shoah victims, because they give face to the hatred and ignorance of everyone killed and/or suffered from the persecution, every single person within that 9- 11 million victims (Jews, Romanis, homosexuals, disabled, communists... you know how long the list is.)

And if you believe that soul can incarnate there's something worth noticing: I have seen dreams of Holocaust as long as I can remember. I dare to say that I have had those dreams even before I even knew what Holocaust was... I became interested of Judaism before I got to know Yad Vashem and what its archives hide in them (though I have always had the curiosity towards Judaism, I just never realised that person can convert to anything - silly of me, right?)... and I don't believe in consequences.
Maybe saying this makes me crazy, maybe not. Nevertheless, I find all this intriguing. (And now you all know that I am crazy as a bus. )

Unconscious mutterings - and surname in Google

Week 235

I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Voices :: Hearing
2. Have to :: Must
3. Machine :: Sewing
4. Seventh grade :: 13
5. Beach :: Sand
6. Roommate :: Annoyance
7. Cyclone :: Wind
8. Theater :: Dream Theater
9. Pregnant :: Gravid
10. Phoebe :: Friends

Images...

Once again I played with Google's image search, this once with my surname and found a picture which made a great avatar (elsewhewre) - even it is yellow: Peri.

Repetitio est mater studiorum etc.:

"In Persian mythology, Peris (in Persian پری Pari) are descended from fallen angels who have been denied paradise until they have done penance. In earlier sources they are described as agents of evil; later, they are benevolent.
They are beautiful, exquisite winged, fairy-like creature ranking between angels and evil spirits who sometimes visit the realm of mortals.
In Indian Mythology Pari is the equivalent of a fairy.
Also, a common Turkish name for women in the form of Perihan, meaning queen of the fairies or Peri, meaning fairy." (From what I have heard it also stands for "extraordinary" woman (in Hindi) and a beautiful woman (in Turkish) - and, "of course", I know that it stands for fruit in Hebrew.))

Call me an angel or consider me as a demon, you are never wrong...

Asthma attacks

If I hate something it's having an asthma attack while sleeping... How I know I have them if I sleep? They come into my dreams, though nowadays my Salbutamol discus is also in my dreams, but nevertheless I don't enjoy breathing problems when I am awake nor when I am sleeping. EVen less when I am sleeping as it means that I will wake up tired... and I should clean and do the laundry and pack my things and all that...

On name, again

I came across this few days ago while doing some research on number symbolism:

Queen of Sheba:
"...In Persian folklore she is considered the daughter of a Chinese king and a peri..."

Still alive

Tired, thirsty and bit wobbly, but otherwise fine - but I think I wont be stitching today...

Anyway, I was reading Selina's blog and snatched this from her:

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct! Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

I would have been worried if it hadn't been that.

Maps

Thanks chanda_m and dreamcycle78 for confirming my doubts. New map in here.

Christine, I just misused World66 and have abused Google now and then in my guest to understand where we come from.
Just wanted to realize how widely spread we are - for reference certain Finnish surname guru from old times has claimed in one's surname book that Peri is completely Finnish name... Oh yes.
So, Google is our friend and free services are made to be used.

חדי

While drinking my morning coffee I got this idea... of placing Peris on the map. To be exact: countries where Peri exists as surname and which I'm aware of.

I'd guess that there's us in U.S.A. and Australia, but I'm not aware of that... Argentina can be explained as refugee after WWII, and after discarding it from map I think you get the picture. (In fact I've one example about that Asian thing... I failed to recognize bits_2_whole in Wednesday. Just wondered who's that Asian woman...)

Yapyapyap...

I have noticed interesting thing in חדי. It doesn't look right with all browsers. But well, I have to just remove vocalization and it should work in future.

Blog re-do

It seems to me that in about every two months I have to change outlook of my blog, and here we go again.

• Changed avatar: this is by Rebecca Sinz, "Fairy of the Dark Forest".
• Edited tags: removed one double and changed one considering my ex.
• Changed colour theme.
• Edited sidebar's titles.

Btw, my first name comes from Samí word for forest... yes, I'm Forest Fairy by name so that picture is more than suitable - and I chose it before realizing thing behind the name.

Fairy name generator, runes etc.

From The Original Fairy Name Generator:

"Your fairy is called Chanter Saturndancer

She is a trouble maker.
She lives in church yards and places of the dead.
She is only seen when the bees swarm and the crickets chirrup.
She wears silver colours and white feather down. She has delicate pale pink wings like a cicada. "

"Notice this:

She lives in church yards and places of the dead."

Ok, anyone remembers what I wrote yesterday..? And

"She is only seen when the bees swarm and the crickets chirrup"

I've born in July...

---

Runes.

PAST

Lagu
Water

Changing of moods. Romance and companionship. The fickleness and unpredictability of nature.

PRESENT

Rad
Wheel

Thor's chariot. Travel. A journey undertaken. An emotional and physical rite of passage.

FUTURE

Yr
Yew Tree

Arrow to target. Tree of life defeating all else. Hitting a goal in spite of obstacles along the way.

---

To sound like a proper lunatic... these fit.

Thoughts about fate and meanings of names.

In order to sound completely mad I'll write about something I thought in night between Friday and Saturday after certain dream of mine. In fact I talked about this with my ex and as he didn't call medics I think I can't be that mad...

"...Peris (in Persian پری Pari) are descended from fallen angels who have been denied paradise until they have done penance..."

"...Their wailing foretells of a death nearby, though it never causes such a death..."

"...exiles driven out of heaven.."

...for starters. Then one of my "first" names...

"...it could derive from the name of the goddess HECATE; it could be related to Greek aikia "torture"..."

...torture... Fallen angel who has to recompense something... And what about Hecate then?

"...in Greek religion and mythology, goddess of ghosts and witchcraft. Originally she seems to have been an extremely powerful and benevolent goddess, identified with three other goddesses — Selene (in heaven), Artemis (on earth), and Persephone (in the underworld). From the three supposedly came her image in Greek art as a figure with three bodies or three heads. Generally she is identified as a spirit of black magic, Persephone's attendant, with the power to conjure up dreams, phantoms, and the spirits of the dead. In the upper world she haunted graveyards and crossroads and was invisible to all eyes except those of the hounds who attended her."

But...

"...Yet Hecate has been called tender-hearted..."

In this point I had came to conclusion that I'm here to make amends. Sounds crazy, yes, but it doesn't clash with my religious views. It only clashes with my reasonable side...

"...The purpose of reincarnation is seen as a chance for a soul to achieve a goal not achieved in a previous life and as a chance to reward man for fulfilling the desires of his Creator. Reincarnation has also been viewed as punishment for a sinner’s previous deeds..." (Original source)

More in here and here.

"...Some sources indicate that reincarnation is a routine process, while others indicate that it only occurs in unusual circumstances, where the soul left unfinished business behind. "

And to drop a bomb and to sound COMPLETELY crazy... reincarnation anyone?

So?

Odd things have been happening lately. So odd things that I can't believe that it has no meaning.
And what bothers me isn't thing what should bother me in common opinion: what bothers me is that in the end I was one who needed space (I'm not jumping on walls here even I don't know anything about my future and with whom I'll spend it with in the end). I need to find out what's behind the name, what's my meaning, what is really important..?

Though... I think I know what is that thing I've to accomplish before I die.

Me?

חְדי

Image created with Candybar Doll Maker 2

"In Persian and Islamic mythology, Peris (in Persian پری Pari) are descended from fallen angels who have been denied paradise until they have done penance. In earlier sources they are described as agents of evil; later, they are benevolent. They are beautiful, exquisite winged, fairy-like creature ranking between angels and evil spirits who sometimes visit the realm of mortals

Peris were the target of a lower level of evil beings called deevs, who persecuted them by locking them in iron cages. This persecution was brough about by, as the deevs perceived it, the peris' lack of sufficient self-esteem to join the rebellion against good.

In Indian Mythology Pari is the equivalent of a fairy.

Pari is a common Persian name for women.Also, a common Turkish name for women in the form of Perihan, meaning queen of the fairies or Peri, meaning fairy."

Source: Wikipedia

Peri

• Indian (Andhra Pradesh): Hindu name, derived from a place name.
• Italian: patronymic or plural form of Pero.
• Hungarian (Péri): habitational name for someone from a place called Pér.
• Greek: variant of Perris.

Dictionary of American Family Names, Oxford University Press, ISBN 0-19-508137-4

Raja Jinn Peri

The King of Fairies in Malay mythology.

And then little something from bits_2_whole

Before her brains begun to hurt:

"The link seems to lead also to the Jewish."

Then check certain search at The Central Database of Shoah Victims' Names (Shoah is aka. Holocaust) in Yad Vashem.

Not to mention that peri has it's meaning in Hebrew, there are "surprisingly" many Peris in Israel, and that I have always been fascinated by Judaism (... and converting sooner or later. ).

There are few questions: Where we come from? Who we are? What our family does in here? Why? How? When? Where from?

Bookmarks

Haa, first BM is almost finished. I've now done all I can do before getting that filament. (Addition: LNS doesn't have it in stock, so it takes some time before they get it in stock again. I just hope it comes in time - otherwise I just have to stitch that snow without it.)

Good replacement for frenchie: Colonial knot. That is clear enough explanation even to my stupid brains.

And... I know what pattern I'll use to that spring bookmark. Ok, it has flowers in it, but... I've wanted to do it for some time - I just forgot that I've that pattern, and I've wanted to do it.

Activity levels.

I don't know why but I've been almost surprisingly industrious today. No sign of any kind of tiredness, even my brains are working almost well.
Don't know what causes it. Either it's autumn and darkness it has brought, or then it's that Hillel Tokazier's CD I've been listening half of the day.

DBF.

It wasn't long, but we had very interesting conversation once again. It's always nice to read things from between lines. It really seems that I'm some kind of winged, benevolent creature to him. (It has to do with my surname, nothing else can explain it... "--- a beautiful and benevolent supernatural being or fairy ---")

...maybe we're just angels to eachothers, and demons to everyone else?

Hiroshima 60 years

Peri 8 years.

After 8 years of being Peri I can say that it has been worth it. I don't miss my given surname a bit.

I've spent my day updating my homepage, only because I invented this great milkshake and got stucked into my HTML editor.
Anyway it was good as my allergy section was highly outdated. Not to mention my cross stitch pics... even I have to finish that "labelling" before I can say that they're anywhere near good.

My name day

6th of August, Hiroshima remembrance day - and my surnames 7th birthday! \o/ These 7 years with my dear surname have been good, it has been worth 500 FIM/84 euros (...even I did not pay that sum myself..;) to be me. :)

In fact, now I have been Peri longer than I wanted to before I was old enough to change that without guardians permit. \o/ For some reason my father had something against it when I was underage... :P My mom was thrilled when I said I want to get her surname. ;)

And now it seems that there will be soon third Peri in our family. Soon 'all the girls' will be Peri... I just hope that my 'brother' get his TS* diagnose soon - as I know how stressful it is for him to wait that diagnose - and can become what he really is. It is little funny to get sister in this age ;) (Well, as a child I always wanted to have sister so... :)

Being TS's little sister has taught a lot to me. I have realized that when you love someone you really don't give a damn if the one is not 'normal'. And what is normal?
I see this issue like this: he has this disease now, being in wrong genders body, and after diagnose, hormone treatments and final operation he is well first time in his life.

Quite cruel to really start living after you are over 30... But better late than never.

*TS