I am quite stupid sometimes

I have been wondering why I have been sleeping so oddly last days... it probably might help with my energy levels if I ate something in addition of two bowls of natural yoghurt with some honeydew melon bits in it/ day. Altogether they make whopping 800 kcal for a person whose average energy usage is about 2200 kcal/ day.
Can we say undernourishment?

I just can't seem to remember such mundane things. Eating, what's the idea with it anyway?

Still, I have spent some time to familiarize myself with few scripts and I have just started to re-do Periphaeria Designs' site (it's there, you just can't see it *evil grin*). When it is done it will be quite professional looking - and when it is done I can pat my back quite some time, maybe I have to even reward myself then with something... like new stash.

Stash and carbs

 

I had heard stories of One Star's Light's packages, but I was still positively surprised. It makes one's day to receive something as beautifully packed as my silks were (two skeins of Dinky Dyes' Major Mitchell presented on the fabric and beads they are supposed to go with - as a teaser).

Devouring

I am surprised how all those carbohydrates I devoured over the weekend have had no effect to my weight.
One could almost jump to certain conclusions...
Only grain I can eat is rice (jasmine and basmati, 'regular' gives my ovaries bad time) and it doesn't seem to have same effect on my weight than other carbohydrates do (which is gain, gain, gain! (when I still ate potatoes one potato was one kilo gained - believe it or not))... And based on these facts and the things I can't eat most suitable cuisines originate from Asia (Indian, Thai, Japanese, Chinese (without MSG *grin*)...)
Add my surname to the mix (remember, it's a Hindu name), stir and jump to conclusions.

I have a cunning plan..

Now that I have fabric for Loy I itch to start it (can you guess that I am happy with the fabric? (No, not just happy, I am thrilled as it is exactly like I wanted it to be.)), and I had an idea: I could have it as my official Stitch-A-Thon piece...

This is how we justify new big projects before finishing any of the old ones...

Thoughts on diet and fertility

Today I 'ave mostly been... jumping for joy because my latest cycle was only 28 days and I have no swelling or pains.

As you may have guessed I have done some reading about gluten intolerance. It may cause, for example, (I won't even get into fatigue and lack of energy which I used to have all the time when I was still eating "like normal people") infertility.
Those of you who have been around since times of Sol may have noticed that since my diet got to what it is now I have been complaining less and less about my PCOs... because since I had to change the way of eating my beloved syndrome has got better, at least based on the signs my body is giving (for example my cycle is nowadays 28-32 days instead of 70-90 days it used to be and I live with much less pain (I don't get it how I was able to function in those times when I had abdominal pains (and we talk about pain in here) almost all the time)..).

Now, some, if not most, women with this syndrome find some help from low-carb diet, and therefore I would like to know how common gluten intolerance is among PCOs women compared to average... as low-carb also means less, if any, grains which contain gluten.

I also find it interesting that gluten intolerance can cause DM I... as PCOs predisposes you to DM II. I do know that DM I and DM II have different bases, but still they are both forms of diabetes. And in PCOs diabetes is actually somewhat caused by abnormal insulin production and not that much of the possible obesity (every PCOs woman is not obese, the official percentage is about 50%)...

Admittedly I may be seeing connections (I have said something about this before) in places where there is none, but still... it is interesting.

And after all this thinking I need some caffeine. Ta-ta for now.

Scratch...

[insert some frantic scratching here]

1. It's inhuman to forbid moisturiser from a person with an atopic skin.

2. My system is not compatible with generic carbohydrates. Five kilos in two days with normal eating habits is not how it's supposed to be... my metabolism seems to be carnivore's.

But.... some stitching and then I'm on my merry way getting pricked.

997; Salt of the Earth

I've a theory. This theory, that I have, that is to say, which is mine... is mine.
My theory is along the following lines... ...All brontosauruses are thin at one end; much, much thicker in the middle and then thin again at the far end. That is the theory that I have and which is mine and what it is, too.
Oops, wrong theory. (For those who didn't find this funny... don't worry, but fact is that it is much easier to understand me if you're addicted to Monty Python.)

Anyway, I got an idea while walking home from the grocery with jar of olives (black, of course), blue cheese, piece of Emmental, jar of pickled cucumbers. and a chunk of blue cheese... My daily diet lacks salt!
I don't eat bread (due my allergies and the fact that my body doesn't seem to like gluten either, so only grains left are rice and oat), which means I don't use margarine, cheese only seldom nor any other product commonly found from a sandwich. In addition to this I don't buy/ eat ready-made foods and I'm used to eat low-salt food... This all equals... not enough salt. And I'm quite sure I don't get that one gram you should get daily, therefore I end up hoarding salty food every now and then.

Getting to know your friends

To those who've sent it to me, I'll reply after this weekend's stitching is done, so no worries! (As if. )
And warning to some... you'll have chain mail soon. *g*

Off to eat some more cheese and after it... stitching!

Dilemma

Now, as I'll have happy dance in 20th of November I've been pondering on something... I know I should finish Morning Wizard, and it's almost done anyway (as I'll leave some parts out of it), but I want to start Ezzy!
Now, do I want to be a good stitcher or a bad stitcher?

I think I may decide to be possessed by Ezmeralda's relatives and let MW be for some time.

Cravings...

...first it was raw onion, then blue cheese as such, chicken, excessive amounts of cranberry- raspberry milk chocolate, now pickled cucumbers...
Question is What the heck?
First one who says You're pregnant will be whacked with a halibut... I can't be pregnant (likelihood of such is about same than Dubya suddenly growing a brain) - reasons for it being my PCOS, using contraceptives, fact that I just menstruated (ok, my mother had one menses after she got pregnant with my brother, but that's not likely anyway as you know) - and I'm not comfort eating.

So, do all those contain some secret vitamin which I'm not aware of?

Anyway, entry out, some more coffee in to my mug, some laundry and having my weekly fight with Panda.

Mary's Angels; part I

Well, I wasn't able to sleep last night before 4 o'clock so I stitched. And in addition of sleeping, being sick and idling around in net I've been... stitching. Stitching enough to have a happy dance here and now. Therefore, may I introduce you, first of Mary's angels:

Now, does she look better with my conversion or does she look better with my conversion?

On fingernails

Have problems with your fingernails? Ditch every single low-fat dairy product from your diet and enjoy them with their natural fat. Wait for a week or three and voilá, you have strong fingernails!

My nails got very strong while I was in Bangkok and I thought it was the iodine in those deep fried seaweed chips we ate almost every night. It may one reason, but fact is that part of my daily diet was yoghurt which surely had normal amount of fat (no thickening additives as I never got anything from eating them) in it.
When I came back my nails begun to soften after month or so, and I thought it was lack of iodine... apparently it wasn't, as after I begun to buy my curd milk (believe or not, but it is actually good) as greasy you can find it (3,5 grams of fat in 100g) my nails have grew stronger again.

And before someone asks: I haven't gain any weight. I'm exactly in same weight I was in last winter (which is two kilos more than during summer).

Epilogue

KLM: Great service, rather inexpensive tickets (for me they were very inexpensive, as you know), good food and gorgeous stewards.

Bangkok: You either hate it or love it. And it seems to me that I fell in love that city, despite of it's noisiness and crowds - or maybe that was the actual reason, I don't know.
I could have lived there.

Food: was great and I was able to consume most fruits and vegetables I can't eat in Finland.
Actually I had less food related worries during that month than I've in here during one month. We process our processed food too much (what's the idea of cornstarch in yoghurt for instance?).
And seriously, I had less allergic symptoms in Bangkok than I have in Finland... I even ate food which was soaked in sesame oil and I had no problems. I don't even dare to try that in here...

We talked about it few times... "You really should make a business out of this, you know? Wolfie's holidays for allergic people: 'Come to Wolfie's and eat what you can't eat at home.' You could make good bucks with that."
I still have dirty dreams of those fruits...

Pictures: In here.
There is one set of pictures I haven't blogged of yet... I popped by in Wat Pho one day. (Pictures in here.)

I dislike taking pictures of 'things' which are sacred to people (don't ask me why. Out of respect, I guess, even I'm this rude being I am), but I made one exception when it came to Reclining Buddha

"The highly impressive gold plated reclining Buddha is 46 meters long and 15 meters high, and is designed to illustrate the passing of the Buddha into nirvana.
The feet and the eyes are engraved with mother-of-pearl decoration, and the feet also show the 108 auspicious characteristics of the true Buddha."

It really is stunning. And huge.

Wonderfully peaceful place, I recommend. And I also recommend to reserve whole day in case any of you ever visits there. You'll easily lost sense of time when strolling around.

Shoes: Were almost new when I landed, now they're in pieces.

Was it worth it?: Yes, absolutely.

Thinking aloud, part II; crazy theories

Little something about diets.

According to many experts low-carb high-protein diets are bad for your health. I'd like to disagree a bit.
I've been thinking this quite some time and I've come to a conclusion that there is no such thing as one correct diet. I won't mix exercise in this theory now, so bear with me...

Have you ever noticed that there are people who have same diet, but person A stays/gets slim and person B gains/can't lose weight?
I've noticed that in myself. Every change in my diet has caused weight loss, that's for sure, but in the end none of them ever helped me to lose weight permanently. Or even keep in same weight for long.

Nutritionists recommend low-fat, high-carb diets as healthy. To everyone and that is where my thoughts get heretic.
When it comes to me I've noticed few things

1. I get arrhythmias when ever my diet is high-carb even for a day.
2. I get gout attacks for the same reason.
3. When I'm in high-carb diet I crave for sweetness, in other words I'm sugar rat when ever I'm 'healthy' diet which should provide me what my body needs.
4. I get depressed much more easily when I'm in high-carb diet.
5. I can't control my weight. If it decides to rise it'll, no matter what, and I can't keep my weight in balance.

I'm getting to a point, just wait a bit...

So, to me it seems that what is considered 'healthy' is not good for my body, or would you disagree? Now...
What if, and this is just one of my theories, there are people who benefit from high-carb diet and people who benefit from low-carb diet? And to high-carbers low-carbing would be as disastrous as high-carbing to low-carbers?

You know that disagreement of where first humans came from? Did they come from Asia or from Africa? What if... what if that explains the difference between suitable diets? Ethnicity may be the key. Just remember that we are all more all less mixed heritage.

Why I came to this conclusion? I've met quite a few persons who benefit from low-carb diet, myself being one of them. I've also met people who benefit from high-carb diet. And I can't believe that there's nothing behind that difference. I believe in reasons.

Wild S.E.X., and 'Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me. Happy birthday dear me...'

Happy birthday to me.

I've to admit that it has been heart warming to receive whole bunch of birthday wishes (Thank you all. They mean very much ^^). First ones (actually Angela was the first one few days back) I got from Wolfie, just when day changed from 2nd to 3rd. And what surprises me is that my father remembered my birthday, it hasn't happened in years - ~14 years if I'm not mistaken. (As usually he remembers it only because I remind of him.)
Talked about this with Wolfie and he had an interesting theory: people learn to appreciate those things they're afraid to lose when they're in danger to lose them.

According to my mother it rained when I was born... it was supposed to rain today, but it didn't, and minutes before dusk it looked like this:

Rainy? Though it's possible that there'll be another thunderstorm during evening - or at least some rain.

And as I'm fond of memories... how was my life year ago? Hmm, even situation is what it is I'd like to say that my life has gotten, if not better, more balanced at least.

Then to this day. As we know my plan was to go to PINN's... Failed. Why?
Because they don't have store in former WTC anymore!
But fear not! I went to bookstore to sooth my nerves and guess what I found? Ten points, cross stitch patterns! So, I spent ~2000 BHTs (equals 41 € or $52.5) on S.E.X.. *ahem* But they're that kind I can't get from anywhere else, so I had to.
And you know, those 'magazines' and booklets contain unbelievably many HUGE projects so I just purchased opportunity to have something to do for next five years.

For example this project doesn't look that big when you look at the finished item, but as you see, the design takes two huge pieces of paper to fit in (that pink thing is A4 sized magazine for a comparison):

   

Size of that design is 'modest' 210x460.

And to my picture loving readers... My shopping spree.

As a curiosity I also seem to have few designs of king of Thailand. Which leads as nicely to... In addition being my birthday today is Monday, which is Yellow Day in Thailand.
Yellow is king's colour and as he was born in Monday... This is how streets look like (not everyone wears yellow in Mondays, but you can see surprisingly much of it in this spesific day) in Mondays (picture in question is from soi which goes behind this building)

Official quote of the day

"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow."

Latest addition to family

Actually Wolfie gave (he's a sweetheart) this to me few days ago: my new baby, external ~11GB hard disk. ^^

Btw

1. Exploding feeling is gone. I just needed time alone, and concentrate on what's important... In other words: stitch Alter Echo.
2. New fruit in my list:

   

   Wolfie brought some jackfruit when he came back from work today.
   It smells and tastes like wine gums. ^^ Though it's too sweet to be consumed in bigger amounts. But what's important is that I haven't had any allergic reactions here from things I've never tasted before this trip. (I've had two reactions: one from popcorn in movie theatre and other in Japanese restaurant for reason X.)

And now... maybe some coffee, maybe a DVD on a player and off I stitch. Is there better way to celebrate your 27th?

Withdrawals from blogs, other news and SBQ

I haven't been able to read any blogs in days, because of the connection here. Which is supposed to be 2048/512kB, but is usually slower than my 256kB/s - if it's working at all. (Which is about the eight wonder of the world. *grin*)
So, don't wonder if I'm not lurking around. I just can't.

The problem lies either in ISPs end or in the router... (But hey, do I love WLAN or do I love it - let me think... *grin*)

In other news

1. I've been stitching. And actually accomplished something, though I begin to doubt will I even reach my goal of ½ of Alter Echo...
   Pictures will follow when I remember to ask from Wolfie that USB cable for the camera (or cable for the scanner).
   I'd say I'm quite happy with the colours I chose for it (for the sampler that is *grin*). It'd have been bit boring with only the given two colours, 902 brings some depth to it.

2. I've lost 2 cms from my waist - in six days. And I've been eating like a horse. (One of the reasons being that he's taking care of my eating. I just wont get hungry. I can't. I've no time. (Which is wonder in itself as he's not around most of the day anyway.))
   Wolfie said that it's Thailand which causes that (he has lost quite some weight since he came here, not so many months ago, and in his own opinion he eats like a horse (though he exercises regularly)). Something in the food, or in the climate or maybe it's just caused by little green men.

3. I'm still alive after eating cherries, strawberry yoghurt, odd-little-fruit-he's-unable-to-translate-in-English (I think it's custard apple (tastes bit like canned grapes))... and too much durians and mangos. (And those wonderful fried seaweed chips with chili... mouthwatering thought.)
   Not to mention eating in one little eatery in nearby soi, which might be something to dread to most tourists. *evil grin* But where locals eat... I eat.

4. I'm drinking too much coffee again. But he has good coffee around... (Though I think we need to head to Starbucks soon. I've drank almost all the coffee (caffeinated one).)

5. When I'm in the move alone no one seems to think that I speak Thai. When we're out together most people seem to assume that we both speak Thai, or at least Wolfie does.
   Silly thing in it is that neither of us really looks local (FYI: North European and South American) - in sense of looking Asian.

And then... for something completely different.

This week's

Stitching Bloggers Question

was suggested by Vash and is:

"Have you ever used a magnifying glass while stitching? If so, did you find it helpful?"

I haven't but when I was doing my first (and currently only one) hardanger piece I realized that it'd be good to have. And I'm quite sure that if I get into high counts (high being 40< HPI) I might need one, just to prevent my eyes from tiring. (Glasses help to certain extent, but aren't magnifiers anyway...)

Adventures with exotic fruits

Ok, I was a tad tired. It was bit after nine o'clock when I went to bed, and woke up a bit after two... But then, I took couple of Advils (I've been in pain last two days, thanks to my hormones, so I'm getting familiar with that stuff) and I'm quite sure they caused lenght of my naps.

And as I seem to be quite sore, and having moodiness attacks because of previously mentioned hormones, I think it's better to stay inside today and go to explore Bangkok tomorrow.
Which means: I could finally do something productive and stitch.

Anyway...

Allergic little me in Bangkok and how it has been to date.

I can eat fruits I'm supposed to be allergic to. Grapes go without seeds and skin (add to pleasure of eating them fact that Wolfie peeled them for me - no one has ever done such a thing to me), mango is no problem (and local mangos...so juicy. I don't know how I will survive without them *grin*), and then I've got familiar with couple of things I've never tasted before: mangosteen and durian.

1. Mangosteen
   
   is worth mentioning because it's sweetness. (And hey, it's cute!) Actually it reminds me of Finnish strawberries. Sweet, but having some bitterness to keep the balance.

2. Durian then...
   
   is very controversial fruit. Some people dislike it's sweet, but in some sense revolting smell and miss the sweetness of the pulp.
   And I love it. Which surprised Wolfie (positively), I don't know why though (ok, I do know that he loves that fruit).

Which also surprises me is that we've been eating out few times and I've had no problems what-so-ever. (You guys should have seen Wolfie yesterday when he explained in Japanese restaurant that in case there's sesame seeds in my serving they should be left out. As the fact is that even you can survive with English in Bangkok it's not very widely spoken, at least not fluently. Anyway, it was quite cute episode.)
And my stomach seems to tolerate tender red meat.

In other news it seems to me that we're having another thunderstorm today. My head feels funny and it's cloudy.

Give us our daily bread

What exactly is bread? To most individuals in Western societies it seems to me something you can't live without, and something which seems to be base of a healthy diet.
Answers.com gives us this when we ask:

A staple food made from flour or meal mixed with other dry and liquid ingredients, usually combined with a leavening agent, and kneaded, shaped into loaves, and baked.

I tell you something: You can actually live without bread - and be happy.

I'm still alive, and I haven't ate bread in 7 months because my allergy just forbids most forms of bread (I admit that occasionally I miss toasted rye bread with slightly salted salmon (we talk of "freshly salted salmon") on it). But I eat bread at this very moment... and it isn't that good I remembered it was... Kind of a disappointment, I'd say.

I think that only thing which binds me to this substance is... memories. I remember how good fresh bread smells, how good it tastes when you can have piece of bread straight from the oven... My mom likes to bake (and so do I, in fact it's one of the worst sides in my allergy... I can't bake certain things I'd like to... fortunately I live alone so I have no need to bake anything (as it's not meaningful and I'd end up eating all that stuff and that's not good for my weight or my blood sugar levels - mostly I worry about my blood sugar...)), and therefore we have got plenty of that stuff. And yes, hot and fresh bread is good, but after it...Bread is overrated. I could almost say that it's just one addiction among others. (Feel free to burn me.)

Something in this place...

For some odd reason I've difficulties to fall a sleep in here. My brains just don't know how to shut themselves down for the night. At home I can fall asleep in 5-10 minutes after I get into bed, but in here it takes more or less 30 minutes. It was same thing in summer too so it can't be season (read: darkness), stress or anything related. It has to be something in this apartment. (In fact I can't remember have I ever slept well in here.)

Oddities of carbohydrates.

I just ate food with regular rice and... my right ovary hurts like hell. Which is kind of funny in a way, as yesterday I ate rice with my lunch without any problems, but it was basmati rice and what I've heard it's glycemic index is better than regular rice's. Though I've also been told that glycemic index is complete bs, but my ovary doesn't seem to think so.

So, this means that there will be one more restriction in my diet - though I don't mind, I prefer basmati over regular any day.

SECE and sleeping.

Last SECE card is ready. And next exchange in sight is SBEBB's 'Valentine's Day Exchange' and I'll get info about that in December so now I can focus on my things - which means that I'll continue with Devil Bear.

Though I've an idea what I could do for my secret pal in VDE so I just can't wait.

Sleeping.

My rhythm is completely insane once again, and I can feel it. ...so: 20+ 7+ 16+ 3+ 7+ 1+ 7+ 4+ 8+ 4. If that amount of sleep were divided to three it'd be enough, but as it's not... I feel quite much like a zombie. And of course I don't feel like eating, because I'm tired and I'm tired because I don't eat enough.

Lovely.

Hoop.

I'm shocked. I use hoop with 'Devil Bear' and... I like it. But I can't help being worried about hoop marks... Though it'd be pain to do this without hoop or frame of any kind. I tried and my hands got tired very quickly. Apparently it has to do with weight of that canvas.
I've spend this day stitching and frogging, stitching and frogging... there's one part of that linen which just didn't wanted to be stitched correctly. Now it seems that I won that fight.

DB's WIP pics.

Hunger.

21 hours without eating anything. Why? Because I wasn't hungry. In fact I'm still not hungry, but I had to eat something because my head is hurting. (Something... two rice cakes.) Once again, I should eat more, but if I'm not hungry I just can't remember...

Funny thing is that week before my periods and during them I ate more or less normally. So, apparently it's hormonal, but what has changed?

SEBE.

I got my bookmark today, and it's so great. Thank you Lynne.

Presented here with it's current 'location' (Douglas Adams' "Mostly Harmless").

Parcel.

It was from my SP in 'Scissor Fob and Needlecase Exchange'! These cuties came from Lillie (Thank you.):

That cat is just like my youngest tomcat:

Aren't they cute?

Not to mention those stamps...:

About weight loss.

It seems to me that my pelvis is in different angle nowadays, It feels different to walk, not in bad way though, but it's bit odd. I haven't lost that much... Ok, if we think how much it's in percents of my excess weight it's in fact quite much.
But anyway it seems that when I lose weight odd things happen: usually women complain how they lose cup or two from bra size before anything else happens (when they lose weight). In my case nothing has happened to my breasts (To be honest I could lose cup or two just to get bras easier...). Even my butt looks good, in fact it looks even better nowadays.

My ex asked things about my diet, as I mentioned him that I eat huge amounts of protein nowadays, and while I was checking things to him I realized that in fact I consume quite much energy per day and still I lose weight.

So, either there's something in protein and avoiding fat-free/ low fat products (I've to because most of them contain something I can't eat) or then my body really uses unbelievable amounts of energy per day - even I'm not very active person.

Allergy rants.

I was standing in check-out line at local 'super market', feeling shitty enough because of my bad hair/ face day, just glanzing all around. I followed one lady who was unpacking her groceries from her shopping cart and it struck me. She bought everything I loved before this friggin' thing ruined it all, and I realized that I may never be able to eat, for example, tomatos or oranges. Not to mention that I can't eat those fruits I loved most: grapes, melons, nectarines and peaches.

I loved my vegetarian life, and I had to give up vegetarianism and become a meat consumer. It's almost 6 months since I bought my first chicken pieces and my stomach still has problems with it. After six years of meat-free life it just can't remember always what it's supposed to do to with flesh.

Currently I just can hope that my body don't get oversensitive to cat food, as it contains corn in some amounts and I have to take some precautions when I'm handling it. But I can't change brand unless I have to as that is absolutely best food my cats have ever consumed. It keeps their stomachs stable, their fur is shiny and they're happy little things when they eat Nutro. And to be honest, I don't give a damn if I get slight allergic reaction now and then from it, as long as cats are healthy.

[*insert topic here*]

- 12 kgs.

It seems that my body really needs more proteins than it needs carbohydrates, at least when it comes to weight loss without hunger etc.. (For example yesterday I ate like a horse, at least in my scale (which isn't much), mostly proteins and lost a kilo during night (From my morning weight, btw)). Though it isn't very good in a way as it affects to my sleeping.
I'm used to get tired after 12 hours awakeness, but nowadays it's at least 16 hours (which is 'normal', I do know that) and I just seem to be unable to get used to it. Other problem with that is that my normal night is ~10 hours (everything from 8-14 hours) , so... My day is 26 hours nowadays, and we do all know how well that fits to modern society....

In fact it's bit funny. I'm losing weight without actual dieting, after all those years when school doctors and my mom tried to get me lose weight. They just made few 'slight' mistakes:
1. Person under 18 years shouldn't be put on a 1200 kcal diet. Even adult shouldn't be put to that kind of diet.
2. I still wonder why no one never really doubted that I really can have some sickness which affects to my weight? Ok, once one doc put me in blood tests, but they only took thyroid gland hormone levels, blood sugar etc. I passed as healthy kid who has some kind of eating disorder. Funny part in this is... PCOs doesn't affect to those levels (To blood sugar only if you really get DM) they checked. Why the hell no one did nothing to it after that as they noticed that my weight just rose? Even when I ate normally my weight rose, which caused stress-based eating... nice merry-go-round.
3. Thanks to all those wonder diets, and insane watching over my eating, I have an eating disorder of a kind. I feel guilty because of eating, even I know that I have to eat and even I know that even in weight loss mode I need 1700 kcals/ day, if we want to calculate kcals - I don't.
4. I hope that they were just plain stupid and were unable to realize what they did to my self-esteem with all those hidden and showed doubts of my ways and commitment to lose weight. (I don't get it why they assumed that I wanted to be overweight? Most people don't want, some do, but sometimes it's not about personal choice whether you're under- or overweight.).

If this thing works and I'll be in my ideal weight some day (which is still 'slightly overweight' according to scales) I'll have my revenge. I knew what I need, but I was never allowed to eat what my body needed (and needs).

Caffeine.

Well, it seems that I'm officially caffeine/ coffee addicted. I didn't drank coffee yesterday as I hadn't slept well and my heart is very sensitive to get arhytmias (it's my stress detector), so I thought it might be better to stay away from coffee pot. (My heart had enough opinions about that lack of sleep part...) Anyway, when I woke up I had a headache. Not migraine, just normal frontal lobe headache.
I've drank mug of coffee since then and I feel almost alive. Headache is fading away, and I feel almost good.

Funny part in this is that I've drank coffee since I was a child (about 5 or something) and I never got headache when I didn't drank it, even I consumed huge amounts of coffee per day. I quitted coffee drinking when I was 19 and had 6 clean years.
Apparently I got old or my body got more sensitive, as after I got my bad habit back (I've to blame instant coffee. It's way too good.) I got addicted. But I've never had headache because of lack of caffeine - in fact lack of coffee, as tea doesn't help.

Misc.

Nah, I'm not going to PO today. I think I'll clean and organize things. I just realized that I can't take those pics I promised to *ahem* certain someone before this place looks better.

Oh, yes. I'm shallow even when it comes to my home.

Reason to weight loss.

I think I know why I lose weight. I don't consume carbohydrates very much nowadays, that has to be it.
As I made that barley pizza yesterday and my weight has increased, even it was almost only thing I ate - and it was small one.

So, I can eat great amounts of carbohydrates, but only sometimes if I want to lose weight. And to be honest I prefer to lose weight.