[*insert topic here*]

- 12 kgs.

It seems that my body really needs more proteins than it needs carbohydrates, at least when it comes to weight loss without hunger etc.. (For example yesterday I ate like a horse, at least in my scale (which isn't much), mostly proteins and lost a kilo during night (From my morning weight, btw)). Though it isn't very good in a way as it affects to my sleeping.
I'm used to get tired after 12 hours awakeness, but nowadays it's at least 16 hours (which is 'normal', I do know that) and I just seem to be unable to get used to it. Other problem with that is that my normal night is ~10 hours (everything from 8-14 hours) , so... My day is 26 hours nowadays, and we do all know how well that fits to modern society....

In fact it's bit funny. I'm losing weight without actual dieting, after all those years when school doctors and my mom tried to get me lose weight. They just made few 'slight' mistakes:
1. Person under 18 years shouldn't be put on a 1200 kcal diet. Even adult shouldn't be put to that kind of diet.
2. I still wonder why no one never really doubted that I really can have some sickness which affects to my weight? Ok, once one doc put me in blood tests, but they only took thyroid gland hormone levels, blood sugar etc. I passed as healthy kid who has some kind of eating disorder. Funny part in this is... PCOs doesn't affect to those levels (To blood sugar only if you really get DM) they checked. Why the hell no one did nothing to it after that as they noticed that my weight just rose? Even when I ate normally my weight rose, which caused stress-based eating... nice merry-go-round.
3. Thanks to all those wonder diets, and insane watching over my eating, I have an eating disorder of a kind. I feel guilty because of eating, even I know that I have to eat and even I know that even in weight loss mode I need 1700 kcals/ day, if we want to calculate kcals - I don't.
4. I hope that they were just plain stupid and were unable to realize what they did to my self-esteem with all those hidden and showed doubts of my ways and commitment to lose weight. (I don't get it why they assumed that I wanted to be overweight? Most people don't want, some do, but sometimes it's not about personal choice whether you're under- or overweight.).

If this thing works and I'll be in my ideal weight some day (which is still 'slightly overweight' according to scales) I'll have my revenge. I knew what I need, but I was never allowed to eat what my body needed (and needs).

Caffeine.

Well, it seems that I'm officially caffeine/ coffee addicted. I didn't drank coffee yesterday as I hadn't slept well and my heart is very sensitive to get arhytmias (it's my stress detector), so I thought it might be better to stay away from coffee pot. (My heart had enough opinions about that lack of sleep part...) Anyway, when I woke up I had a headache. Not migraine, just normal frontal lobe headache.
I've drank mug of coffee since then and I feel almost alive. Headache is fading away, and I feel almost good.

Funny part in this is that I've drank coffee since I was a child (about 5 or something) and I never got headache when I didn't drank it, even I consumed huge amounts of coffee per day. I quitted coffee drinking when I was 19 and had 6 clean years.
Apparently I got old or my body got more sensitive, as after I got my bad habit back (I've to blame instant coffee. It's way too good.) I got addicted. But I've never had headache because of lack of caffeine - in fact lack of coffee, as tea doesn't help.

Misc.

Nah, I'm not going to PO today. I think I'll clean and organize things. I just realized that I can't take those pics I promised to *ahem* certain someone before this place looks better.

Oh, yes. I'm shallow even when it comes to my home.