1800: And the winner is...

...neurotransmitter dysfunction, which may be or not caused by elevated sugar levels. In other words I will start depression medication in Monday to see will it help.

In addition to this I will run to the health centre 2-3 times a week to measure my blood pressure, because due my PCOs my doctor wants to keep a close eye on my health now that there may be a possibility that I am developing PCOs induced diabetes... I will see him again in May, and before it I need to fast again for new sugar test - and I am on sick leave from now to 4th of May for depression.

And I managed to get a cold in Wednesday so this weekend will be spent mostly sleeping and eating... ice cream! Not to kill cold with cold, but it soothens my throat, which is feeling rather scratchy.

But the most shocking thing (I have always joked about how I will develop diabetes before I turn thirty: it seems that I actually may...) is that my doctor, who is not endocrinologist or gynaecologist knows so much about PCOs! It sounds to me that he may end up prescribing me diabetes medication (which is used to "treat" PCOs nowadays) before I ever develop the disease.
Have I ever said how much I love that man?

Surprising advantages of asthma medication...

I happened to stumble upon this article while trying to find out is there some connection between cortisol levels and polycystic ovary syndrome.
My reason for the thought was that my cycle has got shorter and more balanced - and in addition to that I am almost PMS free, which, for a PCOs woman is a small wonder as we often have prolonged and worsened PMS - after I started cortisone inhalations.

Cortisol is an insulin antagonist, and according to the article (and the research) too low cortisol levels effect negatively to the testosterone production in ovaries... both problematic hormones for a PCOs woman.

Let me remind you why this all is such a good news: if the cycle is ~30 days or shorter it's likely that the woman ovulates regularly.
To most women it's obvious, even a nuisance, to some, like myself, it's something unbelievably great... For me it means that I may have the possibility to become a mother (even better: without any help from medical industry) some day.

Too Much Information and stitching a dragon

I wonder how antibiotic can make you fall asleep, even if there's tiredness in its side effect list - as tiredness differs from passing out if you ask from me. (So, it was a good thing that I had fever and was put on sick leave as if I had got the meds and gone to work I'd have passed out on the keyboard...)
Though it does feel different now, like the stuff had started to work already (my sinuses feel different and something actually comes out when I blow my nose).

In addition to sleeping and eating like a horse (as for some odd reason I am menstruating AGAIN... TMI: either it is about the fact that I got sick in the middle of the bleeding week or then the extra cortisone messed my cycle completely and caused a 17 days cycle) I have been, surprise, surprise, stitching Winter Dragon.
It seems to me that being sick is a good incentive for stitching dragons as I stitched Fall when I was sick, too...

At this point it only lacks backstitching. ^^

Trusty sidekicks i.e. stitching with cats

Cats have, as usual, enjoyed my sickness and idled/ stitched with me...

 
 

The picture on left at the lower row is one of those which reveal Neko's true self™: little, cuddly, kitty who needs his mommy. (When the guys were young (Neko, Seiichi and their late brother) they used to sleep like that a lot.)

What about those pleasant side effects?

As a person who usually suffers through most of the side effects listed on the info sheets (and those ones not listed) whenever my body is introduced to a new chemical component my body has surprised me. After getting only half of those nasty side effects I am "suffering" from pleasant side effects like:

1. Decreased appetite.
2. Less problems with sleeping.
3. Less concentration problems.
4. Better mental balance (I can even tolerate Her Highnesses yapping and meowing - though I also think that she has calmed down after I started my medication, ergo she has been worrying over me).

...with a medication which should cause

1. Increased appetite.
2. Insomnia.
3. Mania.
4. Depression.

You could think that sleeping problems and mental balance would be explained with getting better, but that is not it. I compare the effects to pre-May me, and those of you who have been around longer have probably noticed that I have always had sleeping problems and that I am not maybe the most balanced insane person around.
Concentration issues have always been there, and as some of you may remember, I actually use cross stitching as a concentration therapy...

And, what really has surprised me is that my hormonal cycle seems to be what it has been (only) for last two years: stable.
To most of the females that wouldn't be anything odd, but for a woman with PCOs it is a small victory. Though, I might have scratched the truth when I said in Finnish PCOs peer support group that it seems to me that balanced PCOs makes your body so balanced that nothing affects to your cycle (one of us was diagnosed with cancer and she was surprised that she has her menses even she's on chemo).

Admittedly my hirsutism has got worse (not that it had been bad of late - I'm very lucky case amongst the PCOs women), but I am in hopes that it will get back to its normal state when I lower my cortisone dosage to maintenance dose (which is in ~Thursday as I decided to take the bigger dose for that 25 days one easyhaler lasts with the high dose and then see am I well enough to survive with the 0,8mg/d)).
Anyway, excess body hair in areas you usually hide under clothing is not the biggest problem in this world - and it can be shaved.

Life, stitching and everything...

I have not finished assembling that fourth model yet (it's about 60% finished though), reason being that I have had hormone induced migraine last two-or-so days and I just can't concentrate when my head is about to explode.
So, I have stitched little something (which I can't share yet), watched two seasons of Babylon 5 (again!), stuffed cats with roasted lamb (they love lamb (as you can deduce from previous entry) - apparently it's the strong aroma (can't blame them, that's why I like it)) and felt generally blue (though I am not going to complain: my cycle is and remains normal without any excess hormones. If two blue days per month is the price... who gives a damn when you can actually have some hope of being able to conceive some day without any treatments?).

Anyway, today has been rather good day, and I decided to give myself day off to get rid of this migraine completely. Day off meant: redesigning (and adding some new pages - and still I forgot the Exclusive Designs part!) part of Periphaeria's site (added flashy favicon too) and some stitching.

Spring has very captivating eyes, don't you think?

I have a cunning plan..

Now that I have fabric for Loy I itch to start it (can you guess that I am happy with the fabric? (No, not just happy, I am thrilled as it is exactly like I wanted it to be.)), and I had an idea: I could have it as my official Stitch-A-Thon piece...

This is how we justify new big projects before finishing any of the old ones...

Thoughts on diet and fertility

Today I 'ave mostly been... jumping for joy because my latest cycle was only 28 days and I have no swelling or pains.

As you may have guessed I have done some reading about gluten intolerance. It may cause, for example, (I won't even get into fatigue and lack of energy which I used to have all the time when I was still eating "like normal people") infertility.
Those of you who have been around since times of Sol may have noticed that since my diet got to what it is now I have been complaining less and less about my PCOs... because since I had to change the way of eating my beloved syndrome has got better, at least based on the signs my body is giving (for example my cycle is nowadays 28-32 days instead of 70-90 days it used to be and I live with much less pain (I don't get it how I was able to function in those times when I had abdominal pains (and we talk about pain in here) almost all the time)..).

Now, some, if not most, women with this syndrome find some help from low-carb diet, and therefore I would like to know how common gluten intolerance is among PCOs women compared to average... as low-carb also means less, if any, grains which contain gluten.

I also find it interesting that gluten intolerance can cause DM I... as PCOs predisposes you to DM II. I do know that DM I and DM II have different bases, but still they are both forms of diabetes. And in PCOs diabetes is actually somewhat caused by abnormal insulin production and not that much of the possible obesity (every PCOs woman is not obese, the official percentage is about 50%)...

Admittedly I may be seeing connections (I have said something about this before) in places where there is none, but still... it is interesting.

And after all this thinking I need some caffeine. Ta-ta for now.

TNT: what it was?

TNT: I had already forgot whole thing... Do you know what this little thing does?

...now only thing I need is suitable adapter and I'll get rid of that annoying cable which hangs in HP's hiney... (Yes, shock and awe, it is white, but it was free. *grin*)

SIL: By the way, I'm beginning to doubt that SIL reads my blog. She has been using $NAME-2-BE lately... after that little rant of mine.

Cortisone: Kills. My ovaries got upset and they have tried to murder me last two days... I had already forgot how much something can hurt.

Official YouTube: o.O! (It's about 9 minutes long...)

Oh my!

I stitched some last night. o_O
Though not the project I should, but I decided to boost my mojo by test stitching one of my own designs for the biscornu exchange at EMS.
I've to say that it looks good, even though you never should judge WIP.

And I can't help the feeling that there's something châtelainish in it. Maybe it's in the mandala...(Mandalas are easy to design (at least IMO), that's the thing.)

Blaaaaah.

One reason why I'd like to have extremely regular cycle is the fact that when it goes over 30 days, even for few days I've most annoying case of blue when my menses finally come to town... I just want to bang my head to the wall... and hide under my blanket eating litres of ice cream. And it's not even hurting yet... Oh joy etc.
But then, admittedly this is better, as I know this'll pass, than that little fear behind my head that I'd be pregnant. Surprisingly I found the possibility scary as it might have caused some more complexity to my current situation...

Before I get to bed...

(Even I try to reply to comments personally) I'd like to thank you all for the comments on my latest WIPs and exchange items.

It has been biscornu day, and it's getting along fine (though I need to work on it tomorrow/today to get it sent in 15th) - if we exclude that little frog attack I had earlier.
Honestly I'm not quite sure do I want to part from that little thing when it's finished.

This little parcel went to market, this little parcel flew to U.S.A...

Angela received her fabrics, and as she's mailed my floss out I'll be, sooner or later, proud owner of huge pile of DMCs. (Can't wait!Can't wait!Can't wait!)
It's actually curious how parcels travel. My Silkweaver parcel was shipped 2nd of November and I'm still waiting for it, Veronica's fob travelled two weeks to Australia instead of regular 4-5 days and Angela's parcel was there about day before I sent it... Darned holiday rush!

If I just knew...

...what my body is up to.
It surprised me, positively, with 30 days' cycle even I had been sick over a week (and cycle this short never happens if I've been sick - not that it were that common phenomenon in me in general). From such incident you could deduce that something good is happening to my hormonal balance, which makes me actually hopeful... maybe I really get more fertile with age. At least I should ovulate with cycle this short.
(Now all I need is one committed relationship to test that in (or maybe I should have needle attack (contraceptive, meet needle) over at N's? (Ok, not really. I'm not that mean)). )

Misc.

First thing in the morning was to notice that I had a migraine, which turned out to be hormone induced migraine so now my head is not hurting... (And even my stomach is it is nothing compared to that pain I had couple of weeks ago. (My brutally honest opinion is that most women should live few years of their life with PCOs (or endometriosis) to know how real pain feels like... after it menstruating would be pure joy. )

Anyway... stitching.

Dr. Frankenstein, I believe that we have a head...

(Please, no bad jokes on 'giving one a head'... I can make them myself. *grin*)

As we see parenting dragon is getting its form, and even it feels that it'll take forever (I'm bothered by frog inflammation or something) I'm quite sure it'll be done before this month ends.

Do you know what this is?

Exactly, it's a stitch-a-long. This time it's biscornu teaching SAL by Alchemy Stitchcraft at Jayne's Attic BB.
I stitched first backstitch square today, but as it is dark grey on dark grey and just a square there is nothing worth showing. I need to stitch other one for the other side of biscornu.

But... a kitty!

Don't we look intelligent today?

One of those days...

...my right ovary wants to kill me, I feel like a balloon and my whole reproductional system wants to disagree with me.

Life's a bitch - and then you marry one.

Anyway, I'm irritated, annoyed and freaking out because of this. It was so nice and almost painless for so long... (Ok, about two months...)
In addition to pain irritating me I'm annoyed by the fact that it affects to my life more than I want to. It keeps me at home when I'd have better things to do out there somewhere...

I hope I can at least stitch something, otherwise I'll be one very cranky lady soon...

Migraines...

...like life can be b**chy sometimes, and while suffering from worst migraine attack in months (and like that wasn't nasty enough my ovaries decided to swell up yesterday for reason or another, which caused... more pain. Wonderful - not...) I've noticed something quite interesting...
Stitching actually eases the pain. It does reduce the boredom which migraines bring, but it also does help for the pain (if it'd hep with the nausea I'd be one happy camper) itself.

And I'd really like to know why, as you'd think that stitching makes migraines worse with all that meticulous counting and staring at those itsy bitsy holes.
Maybe it is its relaxing effect...

Good morning

Well, I drank that d**ned wine which caused me hangover last time (not this time though, for some odd reason). I drank it just because, even it wasn't expensive, I paid it... and as I don't cook for myself very often (and last time I cooked to someone else I cut to my nail with a knife and now my once beautiful thumbnail is an ugly stump ) it was only way to destroy it.
Anyway, it made me think. N. said that the wine is "too" sweet, and in my opinion it wasn't and this lead me to think of hormones... Estrogen affects in many ways and one of its effects is better sense of taste - which explains the difference between N.'s and my opinion about the wine.
But... Last time I drank that same wine it tasted much sweeter. It can be explained with vintage etc., but still it made me ponder could it just be about my hormone levels? As it has been about two years (bit less) since I drank that particular wine, and last time it tasted much sweeter... Just thinking aloud, nothing else.

And then, as I can't sleep very well when I've alcohol in my blood stream I was unable to reach mr. Sandman, and returned to living room... to window shop *grin* and got surprised by, yes you guess who, Sol once again. I don't know what I should think of this sudden interest towards contacting me... but then, I think it was me who's always said how she believes in friendship after a relationship... Me and my big mouth.
But it makes you think of all sorts of things. Not that anyway, no worries - "luckily" I've other things to worry about, no need for any more issues.

One of my favourite peeves...

Is that group of people who excuse their usage of slang and dreadful language (ya all know wad i mean) with "I'm not native English speaker". Well hello, I'm not either. When in school my English grades were always D or D+ tops, and English is not official language in here... still, I use it daily: I date in English, I get involved with English, I blog in English, I communicate with friends and most of the world with English so I get all the practise I need.
It's all about just having some stamina, it's all about the will to improve. I'm not saying I'm perfect and I admit I've had my Chatnglish phase back in dark past, but we can learn from our mistakes, can't we?

And still, I know there are people who think I'm elitistic b*stard because I let them know from the start that bad language hurts my eyes. But I can't help it, languages shouldn't be mutilated like they do - though I love to play with words, but there is slight difference between playing with and, excuse my French, tentacle raping languages.

When it comes to tentacles...

Talking of tentacle raping, world has come to its end: Unka Ghastly doesn't draw anymore - for non-defined period of time, at least.
It was fun as long as it lasted, all the best for Unka G. *sighs*

Yadda, yadda and bleh...

My back aches, I nauseate, my head disagrees with me and I'm blue. What a lovely way to spend a night.

Being anxious makes me anxious (merry-go-round anyone?) and it makes me wonder how the heck I survived those years I felt like this all the time..? Nowadays even few hours of this blackness is enough to make me insane. Even I know I'm better in the morning after good night sleep, and if not in the morning after few days, as all these aches are just there because of this extremely silly way to keep human female's womb in shape... It still bothers me.

But then, I got email from Silkweaver and my order is in process. And I was apologized by one person. It feels good - even I wasn't actually upset of the conversation we had earlier today, but the thought matters.

Some more rooibos and may even be able to sleep.

665

It's odd. 13th day of my cycle and my ovaries are pinching. Which could mean... yes, little egg cell leaving home. Though I don't believe in it, even I'd like to. Or more like, part of me believes in it, but part of me doesn't want to live in possible false hopes.
It's not first time in past few months, but it's still as odd phenomenon. Could it really be so? Am I really becoming more fertile? If so, I'm not complaining.

Fact is that my cycle has never been this normal... and according to one gynecologist I met few years back there's no hope for ovulation in case your cycle isn't ~28-33 days. Which wasn't the case back then (it was more like what cycle?). And back then the obvious reason for my inability to conceive was lack of ovulation.
I'm just wondering why my body is acting nicely nowadays? I'm not that old, even PCOs should get easier with age 26 isn't that old yet, I haven't lost any weight in... ermmm... long time. Though I haven't gained any either.
Wolfie? He came into my life after my cycle begun to normalize. Though happiness is good for my PCOs, so he has some effect on my health. ^^
Low-carb diet? That's only thing which can explain it by itself, even it's not recommended by nutritionists... but hey, if I can keep this syndrome behaving with it guess do I believe them?

One good thing in this syndrome: never a dull moment.

Snaps from blogs

Do you love quotes? Check Frances' 13 quotes for Thursday Thirteen. After it, check Undercover Angel's Thirteen Reasons Why Blog Friends Are Better Than Real Life Friends, also for Thursday Thirteen.

Health-related blabber

It seems to me that I should reduce my coffee consumption drastically, and preferably try to survive few days without it (dreadful thought). My poor heart is erratic again, and even it bothers me to feel my heart beating what bothers me more is being tired.
It happens every time when I've any sign of arrhythmia. Natural reaction of course, my body tries to recover, but I have to run some errands today, so it bothers me.
And I foresee migraine because my blood pressure may be bit high at this moment (though when I had those bad arrhythmias some years back my BP was actually only slightly risen) - and having irregular sleeping rhythm doesn't make it any less likely to have another migraine attack, nor it helps with my heart.
And I'm quite sure that my heart doesn't like my anemia very much - though lower hemoglobin levels are one reason why females have less heart problems than males.

I've nothing against having body which actually seems to work like it's supposed to, hormone wise, but I've noticed that it causes problems for my activity levels... when you bleed twice-thrice as often you used to only about year or two ago it does affect and it affects so much you can really notice it.
I should try some extra iron, but then... I should get enough from my daily multivitamin pill(s), and as I eat meat nowadays I should have no problems what-so-ever with my iron levels (or so they say..).
But as said, I am not complaining in the end. On the contrary.

On other things, I'd like to thank for encouraging comments considering my SAT, and, of course, congratulations for our ESC success.
I meant to say this before, but you can't always remember everything, can you?

From Bleh to Goodie etc.

For some reason Silkweaver's shopping system has heard about my promise to ditch them for time being... as I can't place and order. It just never seems to get into Thank for your order page - and I'd so want some natural linen stitch bands from them...

*few seconds pass*

Power of complaining! Hallelujah, thank you G-d! Baruch Hashem! (And other suitable sentences...)
It went trough after I ranted a bit.
So, lovelies flying over Atlantic soon (though I could use one lovely, which you can't get from SW)!

Yes, broke my promise to myself about not ordering anything from SW, but as it's not only decision I have 'broke' (I'd prefer to use term decided to change because of a good reason) lately no one notices. And I couldn't resist those stitch bands... and red Belfast linen (and red Jubilee).
I can stop this any day... shopping.

From computers to biology

Laptop is finally at home! Dan has left the building, unlike it was supposed to be, he decided to be with his better half (they're quite cute couple, btw). But I'm not actually complaining. My menses are coming and I am so sore... I can't concentrate on being my nice self. I just seem to want to be complaining bit... erm, person few days (and I dislike pain you can't kill with painkillers... ouch)
In fact it seems to me that my inattentivity increases in this phase of my cycle, not to mention those other autistic traits (ADD and AS are both syndromes from autistic scale) I carry around. And lately it has meant that I'm even more autistic than I'm usually, or at least more often, just because my cycle is normalized.

NFH

Yes, it's arrived to U.S.A.. My Spring Needleroll, and it was loved (*evil laughter*) so therefore I guide you to this post.

And now, it's bed time for old cranky androgynes.

I'll just sit here... in this comfortable pink fuzzy cloud of mine. ^^

I've to say that even there has been major S. Hole of a migraine, and almost intolerable pains in my ovaries, which means that I have actually just vegetated last days, this week could not have begun better.

Yes, I've lost my marbles, but I feel great. ^^

Most of you don't know why, and I need my secrets. At least at this moment... I want to cherish this feeling I haven't experienced in ages.
Part of me doesn't want to allow myself to feel this... happy, but I know I've to enjoy it now. I've to take it as it is.

I like this cloud. I'd hate to lose it.

Back to life

Insane blogging continues as I'm unemployed from tomorrow. Anyway.... What, you want to know why?
As I said, it was until further notice type of contract and today I received that further notice (I've to say that my boss looked quite...embarrassed). They had to sack even some of their own (because amount of work reduced drastically all the sudden), so rented workers (like myself) were first to go.

Well, at least it fixed my financial situation quite nicely.

Gentle reminder

As I am very curious person, and you, my readers, are so nice people, do click this link and find your place in this world. I'm not forcing anyone, of course...

Could it be?

My stomach has been aching yesterday and today. Not exactly aching, but my womb has felt quite sore... 14 days since the beginning of my cycle. And I've to admit that I'm quite hopeful that it could be 9th miracle of this world - again. Though I've no way to try to prove myself wrong, as (this) single person has no reproduction related life... Such is life.

Magic of spring

It seems to me that I'm able to lose weight only in spring and summer time.

Last year it begun in May, this year it seems to begin now. One kilo off from my morning weight without changing my eating habits in any way. In fact I may eat more nowadays than I used to. And my job is not that physical even it includes lifting things now and then.

But then, this is completely reasonable phenomenon: my body just do not need anything extra when it's warm. And apparently I've gotten hold of my sleeping disorders as I don't gain any weight anymore - I may gain kilo or two but then it disappears by itself.
I've been in my current weight about six months. And for me that is long time in exactly same weight.
And having stabilized weight may also be one to blame on my menstrual cycle: 29-32 days per cycle in last 3-4 months. It has never (in almost 15 years) been that normal and stable.

Oh mi gosh, I'm getting.... normal!