1999: Exotism?

There is certain form of prejudice, which makes me annoyed quite... well, too often.

For some reason (too) many people seem to think that someone who seems to date exclusively out of their own ethnicity/ culture is purposely looking for someone "exotic" and disregard the possibility that one can be interested about everything else but person's ethnicity or culture of origin. (Like, even it is a shocking idea, their personality and core values.)

And why aren't they assuming such things (purposely looking for....) when someone is dating exclusively their own ethnicity/ culture?

As an example: when I dated exclusively Finns, no one ever asked why I do it or assumed anything based on it. It was obviously supposed that I would, being a Finn myself, date men of Finnish origin. And coming to think of it, it is a disturbing thought. (Though I find many things disturbing - and my regular readers know that people assuming things is one of my thousands of pet peeves.)
Whereas when dating men of non-Finnish origin I have encountered certain assumption of exotism.

Though, the assumption of exotism is yet another proof that people are basically eerily similar in their ways to think: coming from all ethnicities, genders, cultures etc. it could be considered as a refreshing experience - as long as you keep the whole issue out of your personal life.

I mostly encountered following during the single period between 2006 - 2008, mainly because that was the longest period I have ever been without relationship in my adult life: many men seemed to have this urge to know had a woman they found attractive ever been with a man of enquirer's ethnicity - and I found it extremely annoying. Why it would matter had I or had I not? There is no way to know about how it would be with person X if you have dated person Y even if they were of same ethnicity and/or culture so why would it matter? Or is this just all about I-want-to-be-the-first-man-of-X-in-your-life syndrome? (One of the many reasons why I love Mr. Wonderful was that He never asked such a thing - but He is a practical man: he doesn't care about who I have been with before Him, He just wants to be the last man in my life (yet another thing we have in common). )

Interestingly enough this was mostly a phenomenon of dating sites, regardless, or because of it, my profiles always stating that I was open for contact regardless person's ethnicity.
Admittedly during that time I had a profile at one site which was more or less focused on people who were looking for interracial relationship... maybe it fooled some to assume things about my preferences even though my only reason to register there, or any other dating site, was to expand my search as I was very aware that it's more likely for me to find a life partner, my future Husband, from somewhere else than Finland.
This was as much statistical as it was (and is) a cultural issue - being brought up outside my "native" culture made me a dating outcast in this homogenous society.

But I digress.

Those who have read my blog are aware of the issues I have had with my father regarding his obvious assumption of my exotistic character and/or his obvious issues with people of any other ethnicity/ culture than his... nothing more to say about him, though I am not eagerly waiting for his comments about Mr. Wonderful's ethnicity/ culture/ etc. and tons of more assumptions of me being with Mr. Wonderful because [add bazillion stereotypes here], not because I actually love and respect my Man as a person.

Interestingly enough many, if not all of them, men I have been in a relationship with since I broke up with Dan (now isn't that a civilized way to say after our separation and divorce? *g*) have considered me "exotic" because of my fair skin, blue eyes and ethnicity.
And surprisingly it has never bothered me to be the the subject of exotism, as long as it has been positive - but I also know that my looks, exotic or not, hasn't been the main factor of intrest in me, just an added bonus.

Slightly Off-Topic

This all actually reminds me of an interesting visit to hairdresser earlier this month: I was having having my hair cut and chatting with the hairdresser when Mr. Wonderful called me. We happily chatted for a while on the phone and after the call hairdresser's first comment was "Oh, is he ENGLISH?!" with such a tone that you could imagine that she had been about ten years younger and had just been asked out by Brad Pitt or whoever is hot at the moment. A school example of real exotism.
Her tone soon changed after she asked could she see His picture, which I showed because I have His picture as my cell wallpaper and even we had been talking about me and Him before that the topic somehow changed after that... Basically I can't understand why. Maybe she was so awed because of my Wonderful's gorgeousness (I know I would have been, but I guess I am kind of biased).

(If I was mean I would assume it was his ethnicity that made her silent. (For those of you who wonder about the whole ethnicity of an Englishman thing, He is black Brit, whereas people often seem to assume (in these latitudes) that English people are all fair to the level of paleness and no true Englishman/ Finn/ you-name-it can be any darker than piece of A4, regardless the history of the world and people's tendency to immigrate.))

But still, in general I am not saying that there weren't many, many people who simply don't give rat's a** about who someone is involved with and many, many people who don't give that same part of a rodent about someone's origins.