Couple of nights I've seen dreams in which I'm in Bangkok, but leaving from there. And last night I made it to the plane. It was a close call, but I made it.
I think my mind is saying something to me, I think it's really letting go.
Watched Lion King last night while stitching (telly is finally in the bedroom so I can sit on my bed, watch old videos (picture quality is dreadful after you get used to DVD quality) and stitch - with cats, of course), and old monkey said something to Simba which caught my ear... "Past hurts, but it's up to you do you end up learning from it or forgetting it" (very faintly based on memory, it may not be correct (it's translated from Finnish anyway), but that was the idea in it).
ISP
Gave another angry call to my ISP, waiting the customer service guy to call me back. I'm in the phase where I'd like to whack someone, not because of not having 'net, but because they try to claim that they have piles of things to do and it may delay preparing... It's summer, for crying out loud! And they have never had any difficulties to fix what ever has been broken in hours or few days. This is first black out of over a week.
Something I thought about last night
It's kind of somber thought, but yesterday, while watching movies and stitching I had this haunting thought... I begun to think how I was after Sol and how I am after Wolfie...
Difference being that after Sol I was practically dead emotionally and physically for months. I had no need to be close to anyone, had no need to be touched, had no need for intimacy... before I met Wolfie. And after him I seem to be more alive than I've bee in ages. I miss being touched, intimacy... I miss the whole scale of it.
They say love can break you, it can. They also say that love can heal you, I agree.
But I also say that it scars you always, no matter what, and sometimes I wonder what's the point.
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