So, how has it been?

Tomorrow I've been Miss Peri for a year. And to be honest, I don't regret it a bit. Getting divorce, I mean.

Fact is that since we broke up my heart has come to almost it's normal self again - though I doubt it'll ever be as good as it used to be. But it has it's use.
I had these bad arrhythmias during last months of our relationship. So bad that I laid in bed two days because I had no strength to sit nor stand. Only things I could do were sleeping, eating beta blockers and being afraid of having a heart which just would stop agreeing with me some day.
Anyway, I was only 24. You shouldn't have heart problems in that age, should you?

But since we broke-up I have found a friend from Dan. Someone who supports even my insane ideas. Someone who will, in the end, be there for me if I need.
Of course my family would be there too, if I'd let them, but I don't. I've always been secretive, and for some reason I've always tried to keep my family out of my problems. I'm too proud in certain things, I know it.

Even it's year from our divorce it's over two years from our decision to separate. Or more like my decision, he just had to agree. It was our decision when he realised that I wont take my words back, but it took some months.

Two relationships after it. Both failed. Which I don't understand in certain sense, even I know why those things happened.
I just had to learn with hard way what I really want from a partner.
During this year I've heard certain question few times: How you can be single? How can you be, with that/ those personality/ looks/ brains..?
I had no answer for that, but I think I know... I know myself. I'm quirky. And I know I ask quite much. But I know there's someone, and someone is enough, as long as I find him. I only need that one person to love me, to love.

They say second marriages have best possibilities for success. I really hope so, as, being an romantic idiot, I want to get married again.
Some people wonder it, as they see divorce as a failure of institution called marriage. I just see it as failure of a relationship, failure of both counterparts.
Even people usually don't see me as a marrying kind I'm such a person. I'm sucker for devotion, safety, being protected by gazillion laws... and it brings even more safety in case you've children.

But to be honest. I don't wonder why people think I'm not marrying kind. I'm not quite traditional person, I speak my mouth, I don't allow anyone to degrade me (at least I try not). And I never even thought of really getting married before Dan proposed me (I said yes, because I knew I'd have lost him otherwise - and then, I thought him as my husband, after 8 months). So, in certain sense it's his fault that I became one.

I think I should say something wise, but I can't. I'm in love with Wolves of the Calla and I'll get off to bed with it.