2006

I have been thinking (now, that itself is shocking! o_O) how this year has changed me and I find it unbelievable how much has changed.
Maybe changed is not the best word, but neither is matured which is only other word in my head.

Back in January I was scarred, afraid, broken and lost. Today...

• scars still, but they don't hurt as much, they don't dim my vision.
• I am not as afraid of the world as I was, I am not as afraid of being loved or loving as I was.
• I still don't have clear direction for my life, but I think I am getting there.
• I've learnt that even some people aren't worth of your trust some really are, and they are the ones who count.
• Back in January I defined myself clearly as a misanthrope, today I don't. Not that I'd be filled with universal love towards every single person (admittedly I still have my issues with human kind), but I have met few precious ones and they give me hope for human kind (it took one man to wipe the Official Misanthrope™ status off).
• I got my self-esteem back. (I've never heard it as often than I've heard during this year how cute/beautiful/sexy/attractive I am. And I've never heard that as seldom as year before this one...)
• In addition to realising what love can be in its best (moments count, not the outcome) I also learnt to love myself just as I am.

In general it has been a very good year. I have become more balanced, I have matured more than a year's worth and still I have managed to keep my naivety.
I still need to work on the lack of trust I have, but I think it will be life long project.

I have to say that I am glad to have been able to experience this year. No matter how sadness it contained, no matter how much it hurt it also gave me more joy and happiness than anyone can imagine.

Thank you all for staying/ coming/ being in my life.