I kind of miss last winter. I miss being so intimidated by even a thought of having a relationship that I was unable to miss one. I miss that fear which protected me.
Now... I'm between rock and the hard place in a way. I want to have a relationship, as I really do miss companionship, but I don't want to settle for just someone. And since I was single last time I've become even pickier than I was.
But in the end I'm not even that picky. My problem just seems to be that I've chose to be picky over traits which are difficult enough to find as themselves and even more when combined.
You'd think that when you don't emphasise looks that much (they do matter, but not that much), but the personality you'd find one you're looking for easier. You'd think that when you're intelligent and open you'd be good catch. You'd think that you'd be even better catch because you've the looks - or at least good self-esteem...
I know. It hasn't been long since last time, I shouldn't worry or feel miserable. But I do. It was easier when I was healing my wounded heart. It was much easier to be too afraid than have a heart which has realised that it'd be nice to have someone special to have and to hold.
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