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I think I'm having stage fever.
We actually have some sort of time frame now (loose though) and I'm worrying about every single thing which can go wrong in a way or another before it and when I'm in SEA. (I'll reveal my actual destination later (as in fact it may not be SEA at all depending on a thing or dozen)), for you curious people out there *grin*)

Maybe I'm afraid of dreaming and waking up any day now... I wouldn't blame me on that though. Past seems to haunt me sometimes (in fact we both have our fair share of haunting past). And happiness is scary in it's way.
But I know myself. I'm a worrywart. I worry excessively when I've high stakes. Like now. Love is highest stake I can imagine.

I think I'm not in que sera phase anymore, now I just want to keep him in my life for good. Even just a thought of losing him is unbearable.

How can someone get this fast in so deep?