DIY: Make your fears come true

A bit more on negative thinking.

Last night SIL came to our family's IRC channel and begun to, honestly, complain how nastily my brother had treated her and how he is running away with his ex, ex with whom he hasn't been in 14-15 years. (Ex he probably does not miss even in his worst dreams, knowing thing or two about their relationship.)
In the end the issue was that his ex had contacted him (note: she contacted him, he did not contact her), nothing else. (Ok, my brother was, according to hearsay, pleasantly surprised.)

Now, based on what I know about my brother he has probably told SIL that she's overly jealous, which is true.
Friend of mine once said: Those who have cheated or have tendency to do so are those who are most jealous of you. And SIL has cheated my brother. I know it since she has told it to me.
She also happens to be those people who have a fit if my brother happens to look at some woman a bit longer, and still she should be allowed to drool after strange men (as mentioned before). In other words she's being hypocritical.

Anyway, that was for base, allow me to begun with the real issue...
They may have problems in their relationship, and one of the major problems is surely her lack of self-esteem. She has no self-esteem and therefore she can't see why my brother is with her. She has always been worried of not being good enough, even she's extremely good at hiding it. It shows when she's drunk (she really shouldn't drink). I know this is not the first time, and it won't be the last time.
I know her problem is in her slight handicap and being somewhat overweight, but she has not sense of realism... My brother chose to marry her, out of all the women out there, and have kids with her. Doesn't that mean anything to her? Doesn't that ring a bell?

And then, when I and my sister told her that if she really thinks he will leave he will, if she really thinks he doesn't love her in the end he won't as that kind of fears tend to actualize sooner or later because no one can love someone who tells you can't love them. In the end self-pity will kill that love there once was and all her fears will come true. (At the moment she probably thinks we are unempathetic b*tches, but she's entitled to her opinion.)
They have been in brink of divorce once (which was right after I separated) and I think they are getting there again... because you can't love me because I am [ ]/ you are [ ]...

Think about it yourself: would you rather be with someone who constantly asks how can you love me because I am so [excuse]? or with someone who thinks that you love one because one is the best there is (despite one's flaws)? Would you rather be contradicted or trusted? Would you rather be with someone who thinks that world will end if you are no more or with someone who prefers to be with you, but whose world won't end if you are not there - even if they love you? Would you rather be with someone who thinks you will cheat them because you are so weak you can't resist the temptation or because one is not good enough for you, or would you rather be with someone who thinks that you won't cheat them because you are strong enough, because one you love is all you need and then some?

Personally I would rather be with someone who is strong enough to stand on their own two feet if necessary, someone who is strong enough to love me as I deserve. Don't you?
So, take a moment and think which one you would like to have as a partner and then spend another moment being completely honest with yourself... which one you are in a relationship? Are you the one who makes one's fears come true?

No matter how much losing someone dear hurts we should realise that there is no other end of the world than the end of the world itself (and not even then if you happen to find suitable parallel universe). Bad things may happen, but world will keep on going and storms will change to sunshine if you just believe they will.