Thoughts from misanthropic mind.

[vent] I just can't stop wondering human kind.

There seems to be some unbeatable need in most humans to "normalize" everything and everyone different to be something they can understand.

Take for example me: I'm shamelessly what I am, as I see no point in acting against myself because of social pressure, as it would be acting against myself - and in the end I'm only responsible to me.
I know I'm difficult person, to say it mildly, but that is how it is - and being intelligent (To sound arrogant and being complete b**tard ... with my IQ I could get to Mensa for example. And no, I don't think that IQ is measurement of humanity, so don't even start...) doesn't make it any easier to be "socially acceptable". And it's even less acceptable as I am a 46 XX karyotype...

More than once I've heard that I think too much (And how that is possible?!), and I use too difficult language and therefore I'm a hoax. Humans seem to be unable to realize that everything they don't understand is not automatically bad.
I question every truth and I demand proves. I think outside the box... and what is worst, I'm not ashamed of being me and liking myself. And because I'm like this I'm an egoistic bastard, a hoaxer, an arrogant idiot... And then they come and ask why I am a misanthrope.

There seems to be also thoughts about my emotional coldness. Which is complete bs, but you can know that only if you know me. I just don't express my emotions to people who I don't know - and who are not worth of my trust.
And in the end it's all just being too honest: I can't fool myself and act like "normal" women/ human beings are supposed to act in certain social situations when empathy is in question. I can feel empathy, but it's not just that simple on - off case for me.

But I know there's something "wrong" with me as I don't for example babble to every baby I see. Sometimes it feels, and seems, that in eyes of majority I'm an officially accredited baby-hater.
I just aren't babbler in that sense. I wont babble to my future children, as IMNSHO it's underestimating, and degrading, baby's human dignity.

And what makes it odd is that to some people I'm good as I am. And if I'm a treasure in my ex's opinion I can't be that bad, can I? [/vent]