Purple people-eater

There's one thing I can't understand:

I seem to be some dreadful man-eater in eyes of my "fellow women".

In my opinion I am not a man-eater. I'm not "a beauty queen" (though I don't think that their type is something called beautiful). I'm just a regular Jane Doe. Or can someone say that I'm just so extremely stunning that every man becomes a drooling idiot in front of me?

            

Ok, I'm cute and I like my features, but a man-eater? Really?

I know that my personality and intellect are those things which appeal to men, to most men... but fact is that in the end there is few of them who can take it. As I like to say:

Most of the people love what they see in me. They love that feeling when they hold my heart in their hands, but in the end they can't stand the beauty and they drop my heart in to the ground...

And every time I have to collect my pieces from the ground and glue them back together.

Every time I become even more beautiful, but even beauty can kill if it's excessive... and I do not want to see that day when my sould dies because it can't stand it's beauty anymore.

...as when that happens I'll become just like them.
If it ever happens I'll become dangerous. And then I may seem nice on the outside, but I can destroy you... In fact I could do it even now, but I'm still ugly enough not to destroy anyone.

Not yet.

So, what's this man-eating thing? Why it seems to me that most straigh women have no self-confidence? Or do they just choose those wrong guys they shouldn't? As if I can get between anyone... there's nothing to come in between.

And something completely differet: getting better health wise. My joints ache still because of the fever, but I think I'll live.