Exploring one's mind

Some days ago I realized something:

I've polyamoric behaviour patterns in my past.

Which is kind of odd as I've always thought I'm very strictly monoamoric. Apparently I've mixed my "monosexuality" (my ability to desire only one person) to monoamory, and after I've really realized that love and sex doesn't need to have anything to do with each others I've been able to free my mind to see things I've hide from myself.

Polyamory has bad reputation, and people usually do not know anything about it - or if they know their opinions base mostly on their assumptions and not to actual knowledge.
And that link I gave is bad example in a way, at least in my opinion, as like I said: sex and love doesn't need to have anything in common, people just tend to mix sexuality (ability to desire sexually) and amory (ability to love and feel love (more or less agape kind of love)).

I'm not going to give examples of my life and my polyamoric behaviour, but there are enough of it to make me think. This also gives me new view to something I use to say:

"If I ever have loved someone my love for one will never die. I just tend to priorise my feelings."

That's just how it goes with me. It's quite pragmatic way to live and love. If I love, I love and I wont be ashamed of my feelings, but in case object of my feelings doesn't want to be in my life for good, I'm not forcing anyone.

What makes my possible polyamory so difficult is that even I'm not generally jealous type, I've certain things I just wont tolerate from my partner. And to be honest, not from me either.
So, in theory I could have love based relationship with two men, but I could have sexual relationship with only one - as it'd be cheating otherwise, but I wouldn't let other one have sexual relationship with anyone else.
Sounds maybe bit contradictory. It is, in a way it is not. But what it'd be.... it'd be unfair - unless there were an asexual man who's not jealous type.

To be honest I think that if I had need or want for something like that it could even work, as to me it seems that males aren't that jealous emotionally. At least not those guys I've met.

"Fortunately" there's not that many men in the end in this world I can love...(For once there's something good in being intelligent and a misanthrope...)

And, yes. I had point in this: apparently I'm polyamoric, though I'm not quite sure about it.