I just hate it...

First of all I hate being sick every other week. Then I hate sleeping in the middle of the day. And not sleeping at nights. Then I hate what it does for me, and with this frigging fever I'm even worse little b**ch than I'd be with odd sleeping rhythm - not to mention that I'm not easiest person to begin with.
I nag to him, I get paranoid every other minute and I am general pain in the... behind.

How the heck he tolerates me? I wouldn't tolerate myself....

And because I'm an as... mean person I get even more paranoid because I get afraid that some day he just can't take my freaking anymore...

It's nice to be me, it's nice to have this personal little merry-go-round. If I even could control my hormone imbalances I'd be almost humane, but no...

I just want to hit myself with something hard and sharp. (bits_2_whole: "Like with an *BLOODY AXE!*" ) Simultaneously. Or at least hit my head to the wall for few times.

What bothers me most is that I'm not depressed. It'd suit to this mental state better... If someone finds one lonely mental health could you please email it to me? Or maybe it's just peace of mind, or just strength in general I lack.

As said: I hate being sick every other week. And I hate all that insecurity in my life. This is what becomes of it.

And in moments like this I'd use my old pal comfort eating... but I've lost the ability to do so. Fortunately so. (Or unfortunately as I could use some food at this moment. I don't want to eat because I can't taste anything at the moment, even I know I really should... though I'm not hungry in general. I've one of these phases again.)