Wednesday, 30 November 2005

Untimely S.E.X.

(Stash Enhancing Experience you pervs...)

After appr. 12 hours I'll get some money, and I've already spent way over 30€... though I can't send that order before I know there's money in my account.

Yes, I did some shopping at Silkweaver because I need that black Jobelan to Silhouettes SAL and of course my stash is always too limited - not to mention that I already collect things I could send to my 2-be adopteé (Adopt-A-Stitcher "program" at SBEBB). I kind of wait that moment when I'll get my adopteés info.
And on the other hand I'm horrified. Nice to be stable person.

Body.

About this entry. I asked that from Daniel and he agreed with me. Freaky, I'd say.

And... I think I'll begin to visit gym couple of times per week. I've been visiting there time to time, but now it feels like an good idea to do some light workout.
Ok, I admit that as my body looks better after one visit I've only narcissistic reasons to do so. Not to mention that it'll be good for my health in PCOs wise, as working out binds excess insulin from my body -> my muscles grow fast -> they bind even more insulin -> my weight decreases fast and when my body binds insulin better there's not that much insulin mixing up with my ovaries so in theory it should also affect to my fertility.
Though I have to keep eye on my weight decrease, as I know it can go down even too fast and that leads to troubles.

Tuesday, 29 November 2005

Weekend undo

My ex was here four days, today I gave him a goodbye hug first time after 31st of July 2004 - before this weekend our relationship suffered post-traumatic stress or something... This weekend changed our relationship into better direction.
At least I've done something well in my life and that success has been choosing my ex-husband well. I can't say anything else as things shouldn't be like this after our quite bitter separation process and with our history.

I feel stable, calm, peaceful even I shouldn't. I feel good because someone listened me, because he listened me (as (to sound bit odd once again) he is only person who really seems to get me without explanations, though he has lived with me over five years in past, so maybe he learnt something).
It's great feeling when you know that someone is there if you need to talk, or if you need a shoulder to cry on. And boy we had fun also.
And cats enjoyed to see him again, and that can't be underrated as well-being of my cats is important to me.

In a way it's silly that my future hasn't been this blurry in ages and still my future is quite clear. At least I can believe in future and it's clarity even nothing is sure at this very moment.

Blog re-do

It seems to me that in about every two months I have to change outlook of my blog, and here we go again.

Btw, my first name comes from Samí word for forest... yes, I'm Forest Fairy by name so that picture is more than suitable - and I chose it before realizing thing behind the name.

Fairy name generator, runes etc.

From The Original Fairy Name Generator:

    "Your fairy is called Chanter Saturndancer

    She is a trouble maker.
    She lives in church yards and places of the dead.
    She is only seen when the bees swarm and the crickets chirrup.
    She wears silver colours and white feather down. She has delicate pale pink wings like a cicada. "

"Notice this:

    She lives in church yards and places of the dead."

Ok, anyone remembers what I wrote yesterday..? And

    "She is only seen when the bees swarm and the crickets chirrup"
I've born in July...


Runes.

PAST

Lagu
Lagu
Water

Changing of moods. Romance and companionship. The fickleness and unpredictability of nature.

PRESENT

Rad
Rad
Wheel

Thor's chariot. Travel. A journey undertaken. An emotional and physical rite of passage.

FUTURE

Yr
Yr
Yew Tree

Arrow to target. Tree of life defeating all else. Hitting a goal in spite of obstacles along the way.


To sound like a proper lunatic... these fit.

Monday, 28 November 2005

Thoughts about fate and meanings of names.

In order to sound completely mad I'll write about something I thought in night between Friday and Saturday after certain dream of mine. In fact I talked about this with my ex and as he didn't call medics I think I can't be that mad...

    "...Peris (in Persian پری Pari) are descended from fallen angels who have been denied paradise until they have done penance..."

    "...Their wailing foretells of a death nearby, though it never causes such a death..."

    "...exiles driven out of heaven.."

...for starters. Then one of my "first" names...
    "...it could derive from the name of the goddess HECATE; it could be related to Greek aikia "torture"..."
...torture... Fallen angel who has to recompense something... And what about Hecate then?
    "...in Greek religion and mythology, goddess of ghosts and witchcraft. Originally she seems to have been an extremely powerful and benevolent goddess, identified with three other goddesses — Selene (in heaven), Artemis (on earth), and Persephone (in the underworld). From the three supposedly came her image in Greek art as a figure with three bodies or three heads. Generally she is identified as a spirit of black magic, Persephone's attendant, with the power to conjure up dreams, phantoms, and the spirits of the dead. In the upper world she haunted graveyards and crossroads and was invisible to all eyes except those of the hounds who attended her."
But...
    "...Yet Hecate has been called tender-hearted..."

In this point I had came to conclusion that I'm here to make amends. Sounds crazy, yes, but it doesn't clash with my religious views. It only clashes with my reasonable side...

    "...The purpose of reincarnation is seen as a chance for a soul to achieve a goal not achieved in a previous life and as a chance to reward man for fulfilling the desires of his Creator. Reincarnation has also been viewed as punishment for a sinner’s previous deeds..." (Original source)

    More in here and here.

    "...Some sources indicate that reincarnation is a routine process, while others indicate that it only occurs in unusual circumstances, where the soul left unfinished business behind. "
And to drop a bomb and to sound COMPLETELY crazy... reincarnation anyone?

So?

Odd things have been happening lately. So odd things that I can't believe that it has no meaning.
And what bothers me isn't thing what should bother me in common opinion: what bothers me is that in the end I was one who needed space (I'm not jumping on walls here even I don't know anything about my future and with whom I'll spend it with in the end). I need to find out what's behind the name, what's my meaning, what is really important..?

Though... I think I know what is that thing I've to accomplish before I die.

Sunday, 27 November 2005

Maneki neko. =^^=

My second SOLAK square:

Freebie from Other Wonders.

In fact I think I could try to do one of these one over one. It'd look quite good, I think.

Friends.

My ex has been here whole weekend. He came just because I needed him. Never had a friend like he is. Though I have never asked anyone to come, because I've never felt that from someone else... that one comes if I need one.

Once again I've to say that I'm happy that I know him. And I'm happy because I've been able to talk about things I just can't talk with anyone else. Kind of scary, I'd say.

Thursday, 24 November 2005

Hmm...

I may be out of blogosphere for some time. Or then I'll blog like crazy next days... I really don't know. But just to warn my loyal readers.

And no comments to this one, I'm evil. My email is available in my profile if someone misses me.

Flying Spaghetti Monster - The Game

Convert those heretics to Pastafarians!

SBQ.

Today's

Stitching Blogger's Question

was suggested by Kimberly

    "Do you always sign your projects? If not, why? If so, do you use your first name, initials or what?"
Nowadays I usually sign my work, not always though - and in past I never even thought about it. Sometimes signature just would look stupid, mostly in small projects. But in case I can "hide" my signature to that design I sign always.

And when it comes to signing I use monogram made of my initials. Depending on the design I add last two digits of current year, but that's also mood-based thing.

Btw, that CS is still available...

Wednesday, 23 November 2005

Hair cut day.

Once again I had to destroy excess hair growth and dye what I still have on my head so it's time for SP alter ego update:

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Though my hair is purple, not black. And I don't have any CoB shirts nor that I'd be their greatest fan, but I happen to been born in a city where Lake Bodom is - and lived quite near to it few years so I think it was suitable. (Not to mention that my ex knows/ knew Alexi.. *ahem*)

'Cross Stitcher' anyone?

As cashier guessed yesterday (when I bought latest issue of Cross Stitcher because I hadn't received my copy (publishing date was 28th of October))... My CS copy came today.
So, if anyone is in need of one (I opened my purchased copy so it's not in plastic cover anymore, but it's otherwise fine) contact me.

Issue 167 contains following patterns and free gift

  • Stitcher's Diary for year 2006 ("free" gift)
  • Tatty Teddy and Snowman
  • Winter Topiary from Sheila Hudson
  • Christmas Clock by Sharonlee Holder
  • Robin by Lesley Teare
  • 12 Days of Christmas series's part three, by Margaret Sherry
  • Betlehem by Diane Machin
  • Winter Cards by Caroline Palmer
  • Christmas Sampler by Karen Brittan

Silkweaver.

My Silkweaver order arrived. It had two good ones, one which is almost good just because it's linen and one Jobelan... PINK! Fortunately it is small piece, but PINK! Apparently I need to get some history with them to get more suitable fabrics.
Anyway, this is what I got (+rating):

  • Cobblestone; 28 count Cashel Linen ****
  • Inspiration; Hand dyed 32 count opalescent Lugana ***+
  • Spring; 28 count Cashel Linen (18x26) **+
  • Honeysuckle Pink; 28 count Jobelan * (just because it's 28 count Jobelan)
... pink and light green... oh my.

And in addition I ordered SBTS':

  • #125 Flame Scallop *****
  • #161 Pink Featherduster **

#161 wasn't as nice as it looked, but as with that pink fabric... I think I may have opportunity to forward those to someone who appreciates those.

Something else.

I may be hallusinating, but it seems to me that my torso has feminized lately (like I'd been very masculine to begin with. ) as my waist line looks different and my hip's shape seems to be rounder.

I've new teen age or something? I just hope that my bra size wont grow...

Tuesday, 22 November 2005

Quote of the day.

Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man’s rib: Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved.
Talmud

Talked with my ex almost three hours in the phone (I don't even want to think how much that cost) and I feel much better about few things now. He gave me some hope and let me rant. He helped me to see things in better light as he let me to talk about them as long as I got my thoughts cleared.
I don't usually do friends (for me it's very honourable title), but he's one - though sometimes he can be very annoying, but that's life - and I can say I'm happy that he exists. (I think this is something you usually don't say about your ex spouse.... )

Monday, 21 November 2005

Stash!

My LNS owner sent me another parcel and now I've got everything she owed me. ^^

I've been stitching one SOLAK square just to get hang of stitching again (Like I'd been sick that long... ) and I like how it's coming out even the design is very simple.

Picture will follow...

What Monty Python Character Am I?

Ok, even I've blog for this kind of things I had to post this in here as I'm insanely in love with Monty Python!

Well, u-- um, can we come up and have a look?

What Monty Python Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thanks Christine.

Good morning.

I think I've rarely ever slept this much. Between Saturday 2 AM and Monday 2 AM I've slept 28 hours, which makes ~58,3% worth of sleep per
day instead of my normal 20-35%.
Feeling better now, though my body temperature has small problems to decide where to stop. I have this odd obsessive thought that I should do some cleaning, but maybe I'll rest this day.

And just to mention: oat based muffins taste great.

Sunday, 20 November 2005

Me?

חְדי

Image created with Candybar Doll Maker 2

    "In Persian and Islamic mythology, Peris (in Persian پری Pari) are descended from fallen angels who have been denied paradise until they have done penance. In earlier sources they are described as agents of evil; later, they are benevolent. They are beautiful, exquisite winged, fairy-like creature ranking between angels and evil spirits who sometimes visit the realm of mortals

    Peris were the target of a lower level of evil beings called deevs, who persecuted them by locking them in iron cages. This persecution was brough about by, as the deevs perceived it, the peris' lack of sufficient self-esteem to join the rebellion against good.

    In Indian Mythology Pari is the equivalent of a fairy.

    Pari is a common Persian name for women.Also, a common Turkish name for women in the form of Perihan, meaning queen of the fairies or Peri, meaning fairy."

    Source: Wikipedia

    Peri

  • Indian (Andhra Pradesh): Hindu name, derived from a place name.
  • Italian: patronymic or plural form of Pero.
  • Hungarian (Péri): habitational name for someone from a place called Pér.
  • Greek: variant of Perris.
  • Dictionary of American Family Names, Oxford University Press, ISBN 0-19-508137-4

    Raja Jinn Peri

      The King of Fairies in Malay mythology.

And then little something from bits_2_whole

Before her brains begun to hurt:

    "The link seems to lead also to the Jewish."
Then check certain search at The Central Database of Shoah Victims' Names (Shoah is aka. Holocaust) in Yad Vashem.

Not to mention that peri has it's meaning in Hebrew, there are "surprisingly" many Peris in Israel, and that I have always been fascinated by Judaism (... and converting sooner or later. ).


There are few questions: Where we come from? Who we are? What our family does in here? Why? How? When? Where from?

Ok...

I have slept ~16 hours of last 22. Now I have to be awake as I have to finish sewing of my sis' apron. I've promised that my sis will get it tomorrow when my parents are going to her (and SO's) house warming. And I prefer to keep what I have said.

If I were a chibi.

Chibi chibi wai! ^^

Gaia Dream Creator

Saturday, 19 November 2005

37,71 C

About 4½ hours of sleep should have been enough to lower my body temperature. Usually I don't have fever (and this temperature is same for me than ~39 C would be to "normal" person) when I wake up, so apparently I should believe that I really am sick.

My sinuses agree, as do my muscles.

I should finish my sis' apron today no matter what, so I can't rest whole day, but I think I could make some coffee, get some breakfast and go back to bedroom. I've already piled few horror stories to wait for me, so I shouldn't be bored right away. Though I'll be if I rest whole day, or longer than few hours.

It's great to be "a bit" ADDish.

Have I ever said that I hate to be sick?

Something good.

2nd part of SECE finally found it's way to home - after some excess traveling between Belgium and Finland.

Looks good, even I say it myself.

I just hate it...

First of all I hate being sick every other week. Then I hate sleeping in the middle of the day. And not sleeping at nights. Then I hate what it does for me, and with this frigging fever I'm even worse little b**ch than I'd be with odd sleeping rhythm - not to mention that I'm not easiest person to begin with.
I nag to him, I get paranoid every other minute and I am general pain in the... behind.

How the heck he tolerates me? I wouldn't tolerate myself....

And because I'm an as... mean person I get even more paranoid because I get afraid that some day he just can't take my freaking anymore...

It's nice to be me, it's nice to have this personal little merry-go-round. If I even could control my hormone imbalances I'd be almost humane, but no...

I just want to hit myself with something hard and sharp. (bits_2_whole: "Like with an *BLOODY AXE!*" ) Simultaneously. Or at least hit my head to the wall for few times.

What bothers me most is that I'm not depressed. It'd suit to this mental state better... If someone finds one lonely mental health could you please email it to me? Or maybe it's just peace of mind, or just strength in general I lack.

As said: I hate being sick every other week. And I hate all that insecurity in my life. This is what becomes of it.

And in moments like this I'd use my old pal comfort eating... but I've lost the ability to do so. Fortunately so. (Or unfortunately as I could use some food at this moment. I don't want to eat because I can't taste anything at the moment, even I know I really should... though I'm not hungry in general. I've one of these phases again.)

Friday, 18 November 2005

Family affairs, part II.

Warning! This entry contains some serious ranting.

Lately I've had this odd feeling about some members of my family. It has to do with my relationship. I may be plain paranoid, but I also may be right with my hunch and if so it wont be very nice situation.

It seems to me that only one who doesn't question my solutions and ways is my sister, and in case she does she's wise enough to keep her mouth shut. I've to say that I respect that. So, as we guess, this rant will be about rest of my family: my parents. (Interesting... I don't count my brother to my family.... it's different story.)

I've to say that I don't appreciate this feeling of not having any kind of support from my parents. I'd be happy if they could keep their thoughts in their minds, but it seems to me that they're either surprisingly transparent (har, har, har...) without noticing it themselves or they do it intentionally.
Lately I've read things between lines, and felt this silent pressure... I know that most people think that I'm just plain crazy (to say it nicely) because I still wait for him, because I believe in his words. But my dears, I've no other option.

I love that man. I have loved him longer than most can realize. And I love him so deeply that I was ready to live my life without him just because of his happiness. I just wanted to see his shine.
We both suffered from that, loving each other and not being able to tell it because we were so afraid to lose that one we love. We both only wanted that person we love could be happy. We knew that it'll be suffering to wait, we knew it'll be suffering to think about all those kilometres.
But things went how they went, and there came a day when I knew that if I ever get single and he's single in that time I just have to tell him. And that day came. It took three days to collect that courage to tell him (and hear that he loves me back)... and here we are now.

It's impossible to explain it, but in certain way it seems that we are meant to be. We tried to fight against it, against our feelings, but...

Anyway. I may sound cruel, but in case I'm right and my parents disapprove him in any way I've no problems to cut certain strings. Of course it wont be that easy, but I believe in love before genetic similarity. It should be so in family matters, it should be so with every human being. I'm not loyal to those who share my genes just because it's way of the world. I'm loyal to those who love me and accept my deeds, no matter how stupid and crazy they might seem.

If they just knew how many times he has hold me when I've almost fell into a pit. How many times he has made me laugh, how many times he has made me cry because of happiness. And how many times he has been only reason to believe in humanity.

"Quality is never an accident; it is always the result of intelligent effort."
John Ruskin

"Hell is other people."
Jean Paul Sartre

HD.

My first SOLAK square is finished. It's going to a quilt with Japanese theme ("Oh, how surprising") - this was first thing in my mind after I read that request few days back.
This is a freebie from Cross Harmony and even I modified colours to suit to my "left overs" I think it came out nicely (in fact I only modified shades, not colours).

Sick... again.

Ok, since this I've got really sick. My nose is running, my sinuses are full of strange stuff and I've quite high fever. (In my case ~38 C is high as my normal body temperature is ~36- 36,3) It has been interesting experience to stitch in this condition...

If I were a South Park character....

"Stole" this from Jenna's blog:

South Park Studio

According to bits_2_whole it's alike...

Btw.

    "Our users have posted a total of 10081 articles."

From zero to this in 9 weeks.

Thursday, 17 November 2005

"God Angrily Declared 'Don't Kill' Rule."

God angrily declared 'Don't kill' rule

NEW YORK — Responding to recent events on Earth, God, the omniscient creator-deity worshipped by billions of followers of various faiths for more than 6,000 years, angrily clarified His longtime stance against humans killing each other Monday.

"Look, I don't know, maybe I haven't made myself completely clear, so for the record, here it is again," said the Lord, His divine face betraying visible emotion during a press conference near the site of the fallen Twin Towers. "Somehow, people keep coming up with the idea that I want them to kill their neighbor. Well, I don't. And to be honest, I'm really getting sick and tired of it. Get it straight. Not only do I not want anybody to kill anyone, but I specifically commanded you not to, in really simple terms that anybody ought to be able to understand."

Worshipped by Christians, Jews, and Muslims alike, God said His name has been invoked countless times over the centuries as a reason to kill in what He called "an unending cycle of violence."

"I don't care how holy somebody claims to be," God said. "If a person tells you it's My will that they kill someone, they're wrong. Got it? I don't care what religion you are, or who you think your enemy is, here it is one more time: No killing, in My name or anyone else's, ever again."

The press conference came as a surprise to humankind, as God rarely intervenes in earthly affairs. As a matter of longstanding policy, He has traditionally left the task of interpreting His message and divine will to clerics, rabbis, priests, imams, and Biblical scholars. Theologians and laymen alike have been given the task of pondering His ineffable mysteries, deciding for themselves what to do as a matter of faith. His decision to manifest on the material plane was motivated by the deep sense of shock, outrage, and sorrow He felt over the Sept. 11 violence carried out in His name, and over its dire potential ramifications around the globe.

"I tried to put it in the simplest possible terms for you people, so you'd get it straight, because I thought it was pretty important," said God, called Yahweh and Allah respectively in the Judaic and Muslim traditions. "I guess I figured I'd left no real room for confusion after putting it in a four-word sentence with one-syllable words, on the tablets I gave to Moses. How much more clear can I get?"

"But somehow, it all gets twisted around and, next thing you know, somebody's spouting off some nonsense about, 'God says I have to kill this guy, God wants me to kill that guy, it's God's will,'" God continued. "It's not God's will, all right? News flash: 'God's will' equals 'Don't murder people.'"

Worse yet, many of the worst violators claim that their actions are justified by passages in the Bible, Torah, and Qur'an.

"To be honest, there's some contradictory stuff in there, okay?" God said. "So I can see how it could be pretty misleading. I admit it— My bad. I did My best to inspire them, but a lot of imperfect human agents have misinterpreted My message over the millennia. Frankly, much of the material that got in there is dogmatic, doctrinal bullshit. I turn My head for a second and, suddenly, all this stuff about homosexuality gets into Leviticus, and everybody thinks it's God's will to kill gays. It absolutely drives Me up the wall."

God praised the overwhelming majority of His Muslim followers as "wonderful, pious people," calling the perpetrators of the Sept. 11 attacks rare exceptions.

"This whole medieval concept of the jihad, or holy war, had all but vanished from the Muslim world in, like, the 10th century, and with good reason," God said. "There's no such thing as a holy war, only unholy ones. The vast majority of Muslims in this world reject the murderous actions of these radical extremists, just like the vast majority of Christians in America are pissed off over those two bigots on The 700 Club."

Continued God, "Read the book: 'Allah is kind, Allah is beautiful, Allah is merciful.' It goes on and on that way, page after page. But, no, some assholes have to come along and revive this stupid holy-war crap just to further their own hateful agenda. So now, everybody thinks Muslims are all murderous barbarians. Thanks, Taliban: 1,000 years of pan-Islamic cultural progress down the drain."

God stressed that His remarks were not directed exclusively at Islamic extremists, but rather at anyone whose ideological zealotry overrides his or her ability to comprehend the core message of all world religions.

"I don't care what faith you are, everybody's been making this same mistake since the dawn of time," God said. "The Muslims massacre the Hindus, the Hindus massacre the Muslims. The Buddhists, everybody massacres the Buddhists. The Jews, don't even get me started on the hardline, right-wing, Meir Kahane-loving Israeli nationalists, man. And the Christians? You people believe in a Messiah who says, 'Turn the other cheek,' but you've been killing everybody you can get your hands on since the Crusades."

Growing increasingly wrathful, God continued: "Can't you people see? What are you, morons? There are a ton of different religious traditions out there, and different cultures worship Me in different ways. But the basic message is always the same: Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Shintoism... every religious belief system under the sun, they all say you're supposed to love your neighbors, folks! It's not that hard a concept to grasp."

"Why would you think I'd want anything else? Humans don't need religion or God as an excuse to kill each other — you've been doing that without any help from Me since you were freaking apes!" God said. "The whole point of believing in God is to have a higher standard of behavior. How obvious can you get?"

"I'm talking to all of you, here!" continued God, His voice rising to a shout. "Do you hear Me? I don't want you to kill anybody. I'm against it, across the board. How many times do I have to say it? Don't kill each other anymore — ever! I'm fucking serious!"

Upon completing His outburst, God fell silent, standing quietly at the podium for several moments. Then, witnesses reported, God's shoulders began to shake, and He wept.
Amen to that.

Wednesday, 16 November 2005

300!

This week's

Stitching Bloggers Question

is suggested by Kimberly and Lili and it has (questionable) honour to be entry #300.

    "How do you feel about staying totally true to a pattern? Do you feel that you have to rip out stitches to fix a mistake or do you feel it's acceptable to incorporate a mistake into the design?"
Of course it depends on mistake. If it's minor one and no one will notice it I'll leave it be. If it's noticeable I'll frog. For example while stitching needle case for an exchange I had to frog same area of that flower three times because it'd been visible mistake as of that design was completely symmetric.

I'm perfectionist, but I live and stitch according to this:

    "Only G-d makes it perfect."
so if there's minor mistake no one will notice, I'll just let it be. There's one mistake in every hand-made oriental carpet because of that saying, so why couldn't I make little mistakes intentionally?

Other stitching issues.

I stitched DB today, but there's nothing to see yet as I've been stitching her dungarees. And then there came new request from SOLAK with theme I have suitable patterns for, so I have been stitching my first square.
In fact I might do couple others too, as I really do have suitable patterns - and I've been wanting to stitch them. There's nothing better than a good excuse...

Official useless (but c00l) link.

The Zoomquilt

Morna'.

I'm dangerous after I've seen good dreams and slept well.
It just happens to be great to wake up in a dream before actually waking up, say "good morning" to Sonnenschein and end up cuddling. Last words I heard before I woke up were I love you, and I think I'll live... Though I'd prefer to live in that dream and not in this reality, but apparently you can't always win.

Anyway, power of Mozart has been proved again. Slept seven hours, woke up once because it was way too hot, but that's nothing odd as air humidifier makes my bedroom warmer and, of course, makes are more moist so it feels even warmer than it actually is. Not to mention that I sleep under thick king size blanket, next to radiator...
Apparently my throat ache was really related to dry air as last days I've been blowing my nose out of my head. There seems to be something icky in my maxillary sinuses - and lots of it.

Stitching.

Well, haven't been very industrious lately, but I've been bit tired and overly stressed and that is not best base for creative work.
But now I've been sleeping relatively well, and we've been talking about "issues" with Sol so it seems to get easier again... which will mean: stitching!

And I have an idea what I could give to my mom as Yule gift in next year. If I decide to do it for her it'll be quite big project and I need new frame because of it. I need some some S.E.X. (Stash Enhancing Experience).

Hmm...

I think I could add acronym list into my sidebar. Just to make it easier to read this thing.

Tuesday, 15 November 2005

Stash update.

Got that pattern and Rainbow Gallery's PTB. Apparently nymo thread and beading needles were meant for compensation. Well, I'm not complaining...

297; LNS and writing.

It's always good to whine a bit: I got email from her, and apparently some items are on their way. I wont believe before I get them.

For some reason I've odd feeling now, feeling that I should learn to write again. And I mean really write, blogging isn't writing in that sense.
In fact it's about time as I haven't been writing anything in ages (mostly in years, though I had this short writing spree when I was with A.). I used to write poems, and tried some prose occasionally, but was never very good at later. But I wasn't that bad in first one.

And now I feel like writing prose. My head is filled with thoughts, but they're still too shattered to be processed. Anyway this is interesting change in me. I may even know what caused it.(Saw inside of Sonnenschein again - that doesn't happen that often - and his sadness is my sadness too. (I just can handle it better.) In fact it's almost scary how similar we're in certain things - and how different in some.)

Quote of the day.

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?"
Rabbi Hillel

Monday, 14 November 2005

296

Yes, I'm counting.

Anyway... I received my ornament!

Amy did excellent job with it. It's just so cute. ^^
Now I just have to find appropriate place to hang it - at this moment it's hanging from a knitting needle coming out of little shelf I've on my computer desk.

Sleeping.

Mozart works, though now it wasn't wanted effect, but... went to get little nap and woke up five hours later. But at least I saw sensible dreams (also quite good dreams), didn't woke up sweating or in panic-like state and felt awake after few minutes of zombiness.

XS.

Haven't heard from LNS yet, and to be honest it's making me a bit suspicious, as according to her service in past she should have replied to me already. According to her service in past she'd have answered to me in one day. (Ok, I sent that mail in Thursday so I shouldn't be that worried yet, but paranoia is a good hobby. )

Btw, DMC doesn't want to have foreign mentors - I know I'm not only one who got that email. Well, why they had country selection in their application form then?

Entry no. 295; various.

There's something seriously odd in my brains. And in Mozart.

I went to sleep about 4 hours ago and woke up (once again) completely sweaty, dieing of thirst and complete messed up. Don't remember dreams I saw that well, but I know they have been very scattered and without any sense (I usually have some sense in my dreams). Woke up totally confused and very cranky, just like I've used to wake up before I found out what influence that CD I mentioned has on me.
Last night I didn't listen it. I was too lazy and way too relaxed when I realized that CD player is not on and decided to play with my fate. Apparently I shouldn't have done it.

I'm in here now because I was unable to fall asleep again.

This has nothing to do with coffee consumption. I drank my last cup in about 6 hours before I went to bed, and I've been known as a person who has needed coffee to fall asleep.
Neither have I drank tea or anything with caffeine in it. Music doesn't affect to my sleeping either.

Unless it's Mozart. At least it really begins to look like it.

Anyway, while laying in bed I came to conclusion that my brains are so overactive during nighttime that it goes far above normal activity, and that causes sweating and thirst. Apparently I use quite much energy while sleeping... It'd be nice to know how restlessly I sleep without my daily Mozart fix.

Health.

Throat ache went away and is here again, so I think that in the end it's all about.. *tadaa*.... central heating, in other words air in this apartment is too dry for my tubes. I've to remember put my air humidifier on.

And after about five weeks stable phase it seems to me that my weight is going down again.

Blogging and some serious nerdiness.

I've developed a perverted dream... I've had this server project going on about year and a half (yes, I'm fast) and lately I've been dreaming about it again. Just because I've reached new level in my bloggerism: I want to have an independent blog. (Livejournal isn't actually "an independent blog" if you ask from me)
Software is free, but it needs server which runs PHP+MySLQ (freeware too, AFAIK). And that would mean that I should learn about gazillion things and after it we could ask "Why not study that stuff then as you seem to be so friggin' interested of it?".

Interesting issues indeed.

SOLAK.

I became familiar with aspect of "charity stitching" some months ago when I really begun to find my place in cross stitching communities around internet. As a known tree-hugger I liked the idea of it, but was very disappointed because most charities seem to be flooded with religious views (and quite fundamentalistic even (in my eyes at least)) and they're focused only to one place and to small groups of individuals (and when we mix charity and religious views it easily gets ugly and leads to discriminating of individuals with "wrong" beliefs....).
But then I was reading one previously mentioned blog and found link to SOLAK's site...

Nowadays I'm a member, so I think we all know what happened after I got to their site?

Sunday, 13 November 2005

Yawn.

"Everyone wants to be the sun, that brightens up your life, but I rather be the moon that shines on you in your darkest hours."

About sleeping.

Lately I've slept well because I accidentally found good way to relax myself. It's a CD called "Baby's Creativity", and contains mostly Mozart.
Now someone will ask why I have such a CD. We bought it with my ex in last summer we were together (yes, you guessed right: we had our plans for the future). And when we separated I kept it.

Anyway, crazy thing in this is that I do not like Mozart, so it's a bit odd that it helps me sleep. Maybe it's just boring enough?
In fact I think I know why I don't like Mozart. I listen music to activate my brains, not to deactivate them and as Mozart seems to deactivate me I've developed dislike towards it. That also explains why I like pompous composers (like Wagner) - they keep my brains active.

Fun thing in this is that Sonnenschein loves Mozart, so we will have interesting issues... according to my previous experiences with another Mozart fan.

Health issues.

Stomach flu went... and in the morning my throat was aching. It aches still and I'm tired as hell (though it can be all about low blood sugar levels)... Conclusion: Psychosomatic. I've always been sensitive for stress and got easily sick because of it.

Not very fun.

Saturday, 12 November 2005

Stitcher's Addiction

Copied from Jenna's blog:

    Research Study

    I have spent the better part of thirty years doing research and after thorough and exhaustive study I have finally gathered enough information to formulate and prove my theory. It can no longer be denied or disputed by physicians, Federal Government officials, or insurance companies. No, not even Blue Cross/Blue Shield!

    Cross Stitching is a Disease!

    Just as a drug user becomes addicted to his drugs so does the stitcher become addicted to her habit. Just as the drug addict requires more and more and specialized designer drugs so does the stitcher need more and more and specialized designs. And just as the drug addict will do anything for his next dose, a stitcher will indeed do anything for her next fix.

    Point 1. When my research began, I started with Aida fabric and cotton floss. Simple basic x’s on simple basic designs. Then one day I was offered "evenweave" and then linen. Metallic thread was blended with the cotton threads and beads were added. Before I knew what was happening I was slipped "quarter stitches", "French knots", and the dreaded "lazy daisy". The progression was so slow that it was hardly noticeable until at present it is now hand-dyed fabric, silk threads, delica beads, specialty fibers, specialty stitches and quite challenging designs by ladies such as the Queen of the Blended Threads and the Chatelaine of the Gardens.

    Point 2. When my research began, only those things were bought that were needed at the moment. But gradually things were purchased in advance of need. It was called "kitting" up a design. Then slowly one kit became two and three and more. Suddenly, without prior knowledge, the dresser filled and then the closet became full. Before long the spare bedroom became a stash room. Soon it became hiding packages from the spouse so he wouldn’t know just how much was spent. And now it is trying to see what can be sold to purchase more stash. My biggest concern is what will be next? Just like the drug addict, a stitcher must have her next fix!

    Point 3. In order to relieve a stitcher from the burdens and stress of her addiction she must undergo extensive and exhaustive therapy. Usually this therapy is very expensive and not 100% effective. Like the drug addict, it is very easy to revert to old habits. And most stitchers feel that the treatment is worse than the problem.

    Conclusions

    1. I find that Cross Stitching is undeniably a disease and should be added to the Physicians Desk Reference as such.
    2. There is no cure.
    3. Although there is treatment for this disease, it is expensive and not often successful and therefore, most patients prefer to abstain.
    4. Once diagnosed with this disease, employers, family members, and friends should be considerate of the stitcher’s needs and avoid confrontation and criticism.
    5. Somebody needs to help me sell some stuff!


Sounds familiar, doesn't it..?

Ornie HD.

My SAL ornament is officially finished. Picture is lousy again, but that's how it is when you prefer to get more stash instead of new digital camera.

It's two-sided. My first design is on the other side of it and I stitched other design (as Kristine was very nice and gave us two versions of it: with and without beads):

  • on black 14 count aida
  • with variegated DMC #51 (IIRC) and
  • used Mill Hill's beads,
so now I've a mood swing ornament.

Stash HD.

My Silkweaver order has left the building. In other words: it's flying over Atlantic!

My beautiful new fabrics, come to momma....

Friday, 11 November 2005

You know you've been too long in Finland when...

    1. You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to garbage.

    2. As you walk past the Parliament Building in Helsinki, and see the statues is titled "Svinhufvud" you no longer read it as "Swinehead" ... instead you think "What a good Swedish name!"

    3. When a stranger on the street smiles at you:

      a. you assume he is drunk
      b. he is insane
      c. he's a Dutch

    4. You don't think twice about putting the wet dishes away in the cupboard to dry.

    5. A friend asks about your holiday plans and you answer "Oh, I'm going to Europe!" meaning any other Western European country outside Scandinavia.
    6. You no longer scrunch up or fold your paper money. You always put your money in your wallet.

    7. You see a student taking a front row seat and wonder "Who does he think he is!!??"

    8. Silence is fun.

    9. The reason you take the ferry to Stockholm is:

      a. duty free vodka
      b. duty free beer
      c. to party heartily...no need to get off the boat in Stockholm, just turn around and do it again on the way back to Finland.

    10. Your coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups a day and coffee is too weak if there is less than 10 scoops per pot.

    11. You pass a grocery store and think "Wow,it is open, I had better go in an buy something!"

    12. Your native language has seriously deteriorated, now you begin to "eat medicine", "open the television", "close the lights off", stay "by" somebody and tell someone "you needn't to!"
    Expressions like "Don't panic"creep into your everyday language.

    13. You associate pea soup with Thursday.

    14. Your idea of unforgivable behavior now includes walking across the street when the light is red and there is no WALK symbol, even though there are no cars in sight.

    15. Your notion of street life is reduced to the few teenagers hanging out in front of the railway station on Friday nights.

    16. Your bad mood becomes your good mood.

    17. Sundays no longer seem dull with all the stores closed, and begin to feel restful instead.

    18. "No comment" becomes a conversation strategy.

    19. You finally stop asking your class "Are there any questions?"

    20. The fact that all of the "v's" and the "w's" are together in the phone directory seems right. (you "vatch a wideo")

    21. Your old habit of being "Fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.

    22. Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay.

    23. You begin to understand Jussi Jyylanpaarvi's broadcast of the hockey game.

    23. You refuse to wear a hat, even in -30 degree weather.

    24. You hear loud-talking passengers on the train. You immediately assume:

      a. they are drunk
      b. the are Swedish-speaking
      c. they are Americans
      d. all of the above.

    25. You give up on trying to find fat-free food and pile on the butter, cream and sugar.

    26. You know how to fix herring in 105 different ways.

    27. You eat herring in 105 different ways.

    28. You no longer look at sports pants as casual wear, but recognize them as semi-formal wear.

    29. You can now reconstruct the missing letters on a building. For example MERI.........LIITTO OY.

    30. You have undergone a transformation:

      a. you accept mustamakkara (Black-blood sausage) as food
      b. you accept alcohol as food
      c. you accept.

    31. You understand why the Finnish language has no future tense.

    32. You no longer have to search for the flushing mechanism.

    33. You no longer see any problem wearing white socks with loafers.

    34. You no longer correct people who say MAC Donald's.

    35. You just love Jaffa.

    36. You've come to expect Sunday morning sidewalk vomit dodging.

    37. You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed."

    38. You enjoy salmiakki.

    39. You know that "mens public bathroom" is another phrase for sidewalk.

    40. You know that more than three channels means cable.

    41. You get all the Swedish jokes.

    42. When you're hungry you can peel a boiled potato like lightning.

    43. You've become lactose intolerant.

    44. You accept that 80 degrees C in a sauna is chilly, but 20 degrees C outside is freaking hot.

    45. You have "flu" as soon as you sneeze

    46. YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIVE ANYWHERE BUT IN FINLAND!

Good hair day, BS and whining.

First day in this week I've good hair day, and apparently I've to thank my new shampoo. It seems to me that it's not only my skin which dislikes central heating, my hair tends to dry also during winter - at least nowadays.
I ordered moisturizing shampoo when I made that cosmetics order few days back and that parcel arrived yesterday - think about that: I placed an order in Tuesday evening and goodies were behind my door ~11:30 in Thursday morning (not to mention that postages were 0€ and it included home-delivery).
In fact I've also good face day, don't know why though as I've been bit blue lately. (Worrying about things I can't affect in any way; sucks to be me.) Anyway, while putting my war paint (or make-up, what ever) on I realized something. It's bit hilarious that for someone as blonde/ pale as I am carmine red lip gloss is not too dark (as I feared). In fact it's exactly same shade as my own natural colour is. Now I understand why people sometimes have difficulties to believe that I don't use lipstick.

And as I'm talking about look related things I add few words about colours and their affect... Black (more like anti-colour) seems to be something I need to stay sane. And preferably very much of it. Few days ago I tested and wore completely normal colours, dark beige+ burgundy, and felt bit odd whole day. After it I've used mostly black and felt much better.
Today... dark beige corduroys and I've no problems using them, but I've black shirt.
Anyway, it's quite interesting how some colour just seems to be so deep in my personality that I feel incomplete without it.

LNS and general stash shopping.

I emailed my LNS owner yesterday with specification of those items I haven't received from her. There's one chart I've ordered about six months ago and still haven't got it... Most of them have been ordered over two months ago and I haven't heard from them since (my euros were nice anyway).... I've decided not to order anything from her for some time, and not before I get everything I've paid for. And it's very possible that I will move my stash collecting euros to online stores abroad.

I'm irritated because I could have got those things faster ordering them from UK or USA, with same price or even cheaper. And I'm irritated that she hasn't answered to me yet, as normally she answers very quickly.

And I got email from Willow Fabrics yesterday. There has been some problem with my card when they've tried to process my order. It bothers me as there's money in my account and WF approves Electrons... Well, I'll know more when I get answer from my bank.

All of them idiots.

It seems that forum crash in September wasn't even a mistake from hosting side. It seems that they deleted it intentionally. I could almost say "I knew this".

******** cowards. Spineless idiots.

Can't even vent properly as I really don't know what to say.

The Anticraft.

I found link to this site from other blog

.