The Hole

Honestly speaking... there is a huge hole in my life and the hole is called Love, or rather lack f it.

After I have fell into this so called normal life I have had the feeling of having one piece missing from the puzzle. That piece which has the detail that makes the image whole, even the lack of it doesn't distort the image enough to make it unrecognisable. You just know that there is something missing.

Hence I am getting back to the dating scene. On that threatening, stormy sea which has the paradise island in it, somewhere - I just have lost the map.

I can live alone, but I don't want to. I have no problems to live in celibacy, but I can't say that it does not bother me as sexuality and sensuality, even they are different aspects, walk hand in hand and someone as overflowingly sensual like I am can't stand the situation where she can't be who she is.
I want to be loved, I want to love... even more important: I want to know that there is someone whose company I love no matter how much time I spend with him. I want to have someone to have heated discussions with, someone with whom to be just as childishly silly as I can be.
I want someone to touch...

But still I don't want to end up in a relationship just to be normal or just to prevent being alone/ in celibacy/ unloved (and then, there are people who love me, but who have chosen not to be with me).

Life is really so very odd sometimes.