The-person-formerly-known-as-my-brother has done it again... this time his opinion seems to be that me and my sister are two lazy ass bitches who don't give a damn of their health. Individuals who rather "spend their time 'tasting' wines than taking care of their health"... (Editor's note: last time I drank any wine was when N. was still around... over a year ago. My alcohol consumption during ast 12 months has been about 6 dosages, tops.)
With that opinion he proved not to know anything about either of us. (He also denies his own bad habits, as he does use more alcohol than either of us, and he does smoke too - which either of us don't do...)
Apparently he thinks that, for example I love to be chronically ill, that I want to be pitied because of it... neither of these assumptions are correct - and he can't be thick enough to actually believe that either.
No person in their right mind wants that, so if he really means what he says he thinks we are both loonies... I admit, I have seen few shrinks, but I have one, and only one, diagnose which doesn't say that I am crazy. I just had an anxiety disorder, which he should understand, he lived through the same things I did as we lived in the same household, we both went through the same Hell when we were kids - we all did. He should understand that even if I am a bit twisted I really have a reason to be so - or maybe that is what he can't stand: we are both as damaged, I just can live with it.
And when it comes to our sister... she can prove that she's completely sane - that is so not normal (being sane). *grin*
Not to mention his obvious need to try to prove that I am wrong with everything I say and supress every opinion I have - he should know by know that I am very stubborn life form and stand behind my opinions as have always been like that. Like I was still five years old... maybe someone should tell him that little /me grew up ages ago.
What bothers me in this is that he became a real ass since I separated. He had few issues with certain opinions of mine (veganism, religious preferences etc.) before that, but he usually kept his mouth shut. Something made him lose it, and no matter how obvious the answer seems to be I don't want to believe it.
How could someone be bitter to his little sister because his sister had the guts to leave her spouse when he didn't have the guts to leave the marriage which, according to him, was doomed. How could an adult dislike his little sister just because she chose other paths in her life?
It wouldn't bother me if everything hadn't changed after that summer, but everything did change.
Why? I still don't understand. I just know that I can't respect someone who doesn't respect me, someone who seems only to think the worst of me.
Maybe everything that happened in our family around 2003-2004 affected to him, maybe he couldn't understand anything anymore and his only way to survive has been becoming hostile towards those people who are, or were, closest to him.
I admit, it was a crazy period, but, in my opinion, it changed almost everything to better... except my brother.
Maybe I am just sad because I have lost a person I could look up to, because I lost an example how a good man behaves, because I can't respect him any more as he doesn't respect me...
(What also makes me wonder is that when it comes dark outside, he shows how much of an a$$ he can be... SAD anyone?)
No comments:
Post a Comment