Monochromatic item is finished and ready to be mailed and my mother borrowed me some money so I can get HH to the vet if her ear looks bad tomorrow (if the vet has time - though there is another vet in the vicinity..). Money, which I will pay back when I can. Maybe I could transfer my ADSL bill to be paid in end of June instead of... whenever (it should come any day now) and pay some back to her.
Still, all this means that I have to think carefully every single thing I buy, every single thing I eat.
In the way it's good that I don't have much of an appetite at the moment. It's easier to eat cheap when you don't care of what you actually eat because you eat only just to keep on going.
On another matter
It's rather silly.
Few days ago I swore to myself that I won't be bothered by men before autumn and, of course, someone asked me out today.
No, I won't go. The guy was tediously boring. Which made it even worse was that he assumed that I can't see what he was after. I knew he'd ask me out sooner or later after his second sentence. (He also proved, once again, that most Finnish men just don't get me. They don't understand a word I say even we speak the same language.)
You know, this is the third time I swear I will stay away from men for some time... First time I met Dan two weeks after deciding staying single until I am 24 (I separated when I was still 24, by the way), and second time I met Wolfie about two weeks after swearing that I will stay single next six months. (Do you see a pattern here?)
Apparently I think that third time is a charm, and, it either proves my point or doesn't.
The reason which lead me to this is that dating game is too harsh for little me and I need some time to just sit at the bench and look at others playing it. Maybe gain few acquintances, maybe a friend or two on the way... And come back to the field when the evenings become chilly. Come back when I am sure, when I have strength. When I have lived whole summer alone, first one in a decade or so. (I am a habitual relationship person. I seem to always find someone when I really want, even if it's not good for me.)
This is also a decision of healing soul. I have got my monster dreams back, and in my case those are always a good sign. Last nights I have been hanging out with werewolves (I know where that leads to) and fighting with vampires. Vampires which aren't afraid of cross, but stumble away when you recite Shma. And I know what that is saying to me... (but, more about that elsewhere, later.)
But, I hadn't bought this if I didn't had no faith in remarrying some day. With whom and when is the open question.
No comments:
Post a Comment