Can you drown in suppressed creativity?

It is amazing how much having approximately two weeks' break in designing can depress you.
Not because of the lack of designs (I could stop designing right now for two years and still have bimonthly updates with few models...), but because of something you can't actually explain. It's like water gathering when someone builds a barrage in a river... For while it causes no problems, but in the end it causes nothing but destruction.

Creativity can be destructive, and fact is that during my life creativity has walked hand in hand with depression. Either depression has boosted my creativity or vice versa, it has always been there.
At the moment my situation is different: I can't design if I am down. Every single idea I may have is barred somewhere inside of me causing pain... until something changes, until little something comes out and breaks the barrier.
I am not in my most creative phases, but what makes me feel good is that those few "sketches" I have done is last two days are good, they are something I would (and, of course, will) stitch. They are something I'd love to receive as a stitched gift from someone.

And admittedly... if I can't control myself Angi (who is my Birthday Exchange partner, as mentioned before) will get real surprise in July when she receives her birthday gift from me... So, in the end everything is fine: I am having crazy ideas again, there's nothing wrong with me.