I have been wondering few things past 24-or-so hours... Why people put me in glass tower and tell me how wonderful I am and yet they don't have courage to take challenge?
And what one can gain with telling me that he ran away from me because he was falling in love with me? If you ask from me I rather had thought that he was just an a**hole who thought that I am impossible bitch than hear that.
I hate it when people don't have the courage to strive for what they want.
I have not finished assembling that fourth model yet (it's about 60% finished though), reason being that I have had hormone induced migraine last two-or-so days and I just can't concentrate when my head is about to explode.
So, I have stitched little something (which I can't share yet), watched two seasons of Babylon 5 (again!), stuffed cats with roasted lamb (they love lamb (as you can deduce from previous entry) - apparently it's the strong aroma (can't blame them, that's why I like it)) and felt generally blue (though I am not going to complain: my cycle is and remains normal without any excess hormones. If two blue days per month is the price... who gives a damn when you can actually have some hope of being able to conceive some day without any treatments?).
Anyway, today has been rather good day, and I decided to give myself day off to get rid of this migraine completely. Day off meant: redesigning (and adding some new pages - and still I forgot the Exclusive Designs part!) part of Periphaeria's site (added flashy favicon too) and some stitching.
Spring has very captivating eyes, don't you think?
Sometimes it'd be easier if not be able to interpret one's dreams. And thinking of the dream now, I think I know why I saw it...
Shortly, skip the dream and go straight to interpretation part: I want to be accepted "naked" ie. as I am, with all the good and bad things in me. All the scars, all the smoothness. And I want to touch someone's soul, mind as they touch mine... firstly by accident, then encouraging it. Being invited to someone's life... (It's odd what kind of interpretations you make from sauna, eh?)
And why?
I was thinking of something yesterday... I am so afraid of being hurt that I close myself. And when I close myself, I avoid being hurt, but I also avoid being 'touched'. Because some touch with knives and not with their fingertips. Because some worship the idol, not the idea.
If I stop by see me as a shimmering spirit, not an golden idol, and caress my soul with your fingertips... it takes a while, but before you know this tree bears the sweetest fruits you have ever tasted.
I just hate to wake up crying... hence this entry.
I will finish my fourth model today, then I will stitch Spring and after that, if I have time and inspiration I will see about the fifth model. If I don't have the inspiration it can as well wait for July launch - taking that it won't end up being a catastrophe (model, not the launch).
There's no reason to boil my brains and get sick just because I worry too much. It does nasty things to one's creativity and I can't afford to lose that.
To-Be-Read/ Books
I have found one of my long gone bad habits again: reading in bed. (When I was married I kind of had other things to occupy myself with and it made me forget joys of reading in bed...)
When I was younger I used to read in bed before falling asleep, though sometimes it caused me insomnia because book in question captivated my attention and forced me to just keep on reading (I read Stephen King's The Green Mile in one night because I couldn't put it down (or rather put them down, as it consists from six parts)).
And thanks to this newly found bad habit of mine I have finally been able to draw few strikes to my To-Be-Read list. (Two books in two days just by reading in bed... fact is that I am fast reader, still.) (Admittedly both of those books are only from two to three hundred pages, but we have to acknowledge that everyone is not Stephen King.)
(Currently my bed time story is Muistelmia kuolleesta talosta by F. Dostojevski (I prefer to use more or less direct transliteration) which is number 10 in my TBR list).
When it comes to reading no one won't find reading in bed unusual, but I do remember those odd looks I got during my earlier years if I happened to mention that in my home we were allowed to read at dining table while eating.
And I found it odd that people found that odd as for me it was completely natural... You know, it would have been so terribly boring and unimaginative just to feed one's body so we preferred to feed one's mind too.
It is just quite odd that I was in my teens before I actually understood that my family is odd if you compare to an average Finnish family (but then, I was seven or eight before I realised that joulu (Yule/ Christmas) is actually religious holiday to some people... I have always been tad slow). I was over twenty when I realised that it actually may be the reason why I have so many communication problems with Finns: we just don't share same culture and it causes clashes when other part doesn't understand that you can actually do things differently without being bad person. (I know, I digress... I think I should try to sleep a bit. If cats let me.)
Today's
How do you decide which stitching blogs are worth repeat and/or regular viewings? Are there certain things you look for in particular? Are there things you wish there were more of? Less of? Is your blog a good example of what you like to read?Once again I emphasise that my blog is also a stitching blog, not just a stitching blog.
I don't wish less or more of anything: if I don't like a blog I don't read it, but remember that sometimes annoyance has its worth too.
And when it comes to my blog... I like to read it even it is my own blog so apparently it is a good example of what I like - admittedly I read my blog to see who I have been and which things in me have improved, which have gone worse.
Allow me to give you two examples of stitching blogs I like:
My latest entry in Tales from Periphaeria made me think about the question of why I am so fond of designing monochromatic designs. Or rather: why it is so natural form for me?
As you know, I am an artisan of Textile Designing and Manufacturing, which in my case means: a texture designer and a weaver in one package (not to forget batik artist, fabric printer, dyer...). And I think that explains it...
I design textures, I design weaves and not actual embroidery designs. I design those things I was not able to actualize in woven form because they would not have been practical or would have required too advanced technology (we were well equipped, but as it was a school there was this thing called budget..).
I loved to create textures instead of playing with colours or making anything realistic. I loved to see how different same weave was woven with different colours, how the thickness of fibre affected to the texture... all that.
I was never very fond of 'free-form' woven items, for me it had to be strictly symmetric, uniform. And I loved professional technology (ie. theory of how to build a fabric/ design a good fabric/ how fabric builds up... you'd be surprised) classes... mathematics combined with creating textures... I know, I am an oddball. I was considered as one because I loved those classes most people hated - but I was good at it. It was mostly very easy for me and when it wasn't I loved the challenge. (As out teacher said: only mathematically gifted are good in this subject.)
Anyway, my point is that I have always had monochromatic mind. Even back in my teens when I desired to be a designer of knitted items I designed based on monochromatic motifs.
Which just proves that I am basically rather simple person, most people just don't get it.
...retail therapy helps!
Worth mentioning: Four DVDs (From Dusk Till Dawn II and From Dusk Till Dawn III, The Exorcist III and Basic) altogether 10,97 €. And that beaded hemming thingy is usually about 10 €/ metre, I got about two metres with two euros.
In addition to those I found few pieces of fabric, a book, beads, logbook for Seasonal Dragons RR (I can't find that one Christine gave me last year anywhere!) and some sewing yarn.
And my mother paid my (late) lunch. 
Guess what I'll do whole evening? Yes, I will vegetate and watch my new movies - and possibly stitch a bit.
Maybe it is just the fact that I am not a morning person, maybe it's phase of my cycle... maybe it is the fact that this world is dreadful place for an intelligent woman... even worse when you happen to enjoy of an advantage called looks.
Ugly duckling developed to a beautiful swan, but no one never asked was that swan happy in the end. Was the swan happier than the duckling because others though it was beautiful? Or was the duckling happier in the end because those who liked it liked it just because it had something to give personality wise? Tell me that mr. Andersen.
I was that duckling, and sometimes I can't help but miss it... life was so much easier.
I got some sort of enlightenment (even I have know it for ages) while reading The Cannibal Galaxy in bed last night (first one from my TBR list down *rolls eyes*): normal is the thing people want (even it makes them unhappy), hence they also act in ways which are considered normal.
To me there is no normal, it's a term created by society because people don't know how to spell common. And what makes it even more sad is that most people don't seem to be able to grasp the difference between normal/ common and absolute truth.
There are no absolute truths, there is no thing as normal (to continue....there's no unnatural (if something exists in nature it can't be unnatural, just less common)).
This place we live in makes sometimes so dreadfully sad. Even the stories you grew with don't bear closer inspection without losing their idea.
I had heard stories of One Star's Light's packages, but I was still positively surprised. It makes one's day to receive something as beautifully packed as my silks were (two skeins of Dinky Dyes' Major Mitchell presented on the fabric and beads they are supposed to go with - as a teaser).
Devouring
I am surprised how all those carbohydrates I devoured over the weekend have had no effect to my weight.
One could almost jump to certain conclusions...
Only grain I can eat is rice (jasmine and basmati, 'regular' gives my ovaries bad time) and it doesn't seem to have same effect on my weight than other carbohydrates do (which is gain, gain, gain! (when I still ate potatoes one potato was one kilo gained - believe it or not))... And based on these facts and the things I can't eat most suitable cuisines originate from Asia (Indian, Thai, Japanese, Chinese (without MSG *grin*)...)
Add my surname to the mix (remember, it's a Hindu name), stir and jump to conclusions.
mondaysabitch presents Random Joy
It's dreadful to work on a model with finishing you have never ever done before. You know that basic form of the design is correct based on what you have seen, but when you turn the piece around your hands you can't believe that it would actually work.
Worst part is that you are still doubtful after making an example piece from plain fabric (Using rags for fun and profit).
This piece either makes me lose my marbles because of all the hours I wasted to it or then it makes me jump around like a lunatic just out of sheer happiness when I have finished it successfully.
I know I should be sleeping, but I can't... this piece haunts me. I have to stitch it to see which ending this project has. Fortunately I already have four models ready for the May launch, just in case this thing proves to be a catastrophe.
I remember saying that I stitch because it reduces my stress levels... as if.
I have been wondering this last three years (when ever I have had time to be single 
What makes it so dangerous that I don't hate any of my exes (I can't say I always understand them, but I surely don't hate them)? Why majority of men seem to find it as a threat? (Remember, majority.)I know, one of the common excuses is They are afraid that you return back to $EX...
I said excuse and I meant it.
It is nothing but one. It usually is all about their low self-esteem, not believing that they could have and hold me because they aren't something called good-enough. Which makes it interesting... they make me run away because I don't want a man with low self-esteem and because they express distrust towards me and my moral fibre.
So, in certain sense they make their fears true. They prove being not good enough or at least not someone I want to be with.
And, the question I have sometimes asked: if your exes aren't an issue to me why mine should be to you?
I am closing to my thirties, I can't except that my counterpart has no experience (honestly speaking... I prefer them experienced (in many areas *cough*) - divorced is always good *grin* (because, based on experience, having some depth and understanding is more common in divorcees...)), so, why the heck some people seem to expect that someone who is almost 28 would have none..? Or should have none...
I find that way of thinking odd.
If one finds my personality fascinating one should also remember that my exes have been there moulding me as I am as they are my past and my past is part of my life. Life, which has made me who I am, which has made me that person I am. That person who one finds interesting - though it seems that most find me intimidating rather than interesting.
It has to be spring... I haven't been cooking this much (during 24 hours) since... stone age, probably (or since my separation at least *grin*).
Anyway, let me introduce you my version of Finnish pancake (Finnish pancake is baked in oven. In this part of the world fried ones are crepes):
Rice flour pancake á la snowprincipessa
4 dl sour milkPreheat oven to 225 °C.
3 eggs
4 dl rice flour
1 dl sugar
½ tsp bicarbonate
pinch of salt
Eat with (strawberry) jam (and, if you want to be really bold, with some whipped cream).
ETA: This is also liked by higher powers... Seiichi caught one piece of pancake while I was not watching and eats it (while I am writing this).
I say ... and you think ... ?
Yikes, it's April!
My goals for March were:
Testing my tolerance for mushrooms with a hearty midnight snack.
Tomato- coconut sauce with beef slices and rice á la snowprincipessa (Easily adaptable as vegetarian dish if you ask from me...)
2 small onions (red), sliced1. Heat your frying pan up, add oil, garlic-chili paste and sliced beef. Fry until meat is brown. Turn the heat to medium.
1 tsp chili oil (home made, fiery stuff)
400 g beef, sliced (remember to give some to quality control units)
2 tbsp garlic- chili paste
15 whole black peppers, crushed
~100 g champignons (canned or fresh), sliced
3-4 dl tomato sauce with herbs
1 dl coconut cream
1 - 1½ tsp salt
Champignons? I am still alive and I have had no need to take allergy meds.
