G'night.

Here I am, blogging in the middle of the night. Great.

'Silhouettes'.

I should write to either moderator of exchange forum and ask about that SAL organizing thingy.

Yes, I opened my big mouth and promised to organize 'Silhouettes' SAL.
It doesn't take that much my time nor I have to work very much for it, but I've to commit to that project for at least 6 months, maybe even 8 - depends on how long is stitching time between patterns.
It has to be at least 6 weeks, that gap, and as there's other SAL going on at the same time in same board AND I'm already signed myself to it so it really needs to be fixed a bit. 15th of January would be good day for an official start as it'd be in between topiary SAL's second and third part.

SALs and WIPs.

I added sections for my WIPs and SALs to the sidebar, maybe they make it bit easier to follow what I'm talking of.

:P

G'day.

As we all see, I kind of flooded my blog with test results yesterday and today. So, now it's time for some 'decen't blogging again.

Metallics.

I've found new love: DMC's white metallic floss.

I bought one skein of it from my LNS and last night I stitched few snowflakes with it to SEBE 'Winter' bookmark. It looks great.

Little tip: When you've divided your lenght of floss to six parts, take one divided strand of that floss, divide it (as it's made of two filaments) again. First of all it's easier to stitch as it's more flexible, and it looks great. IMO it may look even better than if you were stitching with one complete strand.
In fact I think it'd be good bleding filament replacement stitched with regular mouline. I have to try that some day.

SAL.

Well, in a way it has been suggested that I'd organize one SAL (Stitch-a-long) at EMS Cross Stitch Board. I suggested one design (serie in fact) in one thread which has to do with SALs and it seems that there might be people who're interested of doing this particular pattern.

Design is a freebie and still available, and I checked yesterday that it isn't even very big. One part of design in 45x60 stitches so 2700 stitches per part (minus corners which are unstitched in pattern (though I think I'll stitch them too)), and on 14 count finished design is about 8,2x10,9 cms (~3.2x4.3 inches).

There isn't even that many colours needed, so it's almost perfect. Even beginners could participate.

Looks good? I think so. Anyway, I've to think this a bit (as I'm not sure when I've time, after DBF moves I don't have free time that much as there's piles of bureucracy related stuff to take care of.) and if I think I could organize it I think I should contact to that boards staff and ask what is their opinion of organizing and what would be 'wisest' way to handle it.

[*insert topic here*]

One of these mornings. I miss him. In fact I haven't had this kind of mornings in ages. Things have been bit mixed between us lately, and now they seem to get better so it's obvious that I miss him easier as I let myself miss him.

Stitching.

Haven't stitched anyting in days. I'd like to but for some reason it feels that I've nothing I'd like to do. Though I should finish that Mill Hill's 'Icy Blue Snowflake' kit I bought some time ago. It has beads in it, and it's quite nice to do (looks much better than in that pic), but I know that I got to have enough time when I work with that as it's just way too fun.

Then there's that Hello Kitty. It'd be nice to do, but all those white stitches, and different shades of white. I just should accept that I can't finish anything like that fast, even it should be quicker to do large areas of one colour. For me it's just way too boring and that makes me slow.

SBQ

I was waiting for this:

Stitching Blogger's Question.

"When you have almost finished a pattern and start thinking about the next one to stitch, how do you select it? (a list, most recent purchase, etc.)"

I don't choose them, they choose me. I've 2-do list in my head and I'm continuously adding new designs to it. For example there was this great leopard design in latest Cross Stitch Collection (issue 123) by Jayne Netley Mayhew...

Thanks to my mom, I'm subscriber of two British cross stitching mags and I buy single issues of others almost every month, so if I ever want to stitch all patterns I've currently, after 3 years of active mag storing, I've to live 'til my 120th birthday - at least. Not to mention all freebies and pattern books and and and... See, I buy patterns because they look nice or because someone I know could like them. I never think do I ever actually have time to do them.
How was it... "One who dies with biggest stash, wins."

Anyway, after I finish most of my current WIPs I think I take two designs from my 2-do pile and work on them. Other is 'Devil Bear' from Sarah Bengry, and other is 'Taj Mahal', by Carol Phillipson, worked on mostly with specialty stitches. Though I have to buy burgundy linen for it (in actual design it's navy aida but I see it on burgundy linen, period) so it may delay that project. I know where I can get exactly what I need but I've to pay my debts to my mother before I allow myself to use her credit card (Yes, I have her credit card info. Trusting little one, isn't she?) because I've to order it from abroad.

Wonderful world of hair.

It's amazing how I suddenly begun to look myself when I lost some centimeters from my hair lenght. It's possible that I may even recognize myself tomorrow when I wake up and look into the mirror.

Btw.

It's funny how cats like to be outside more nowadays, after I started to feed local birds (Winter feeding to those poor creatures).

Human beings.

I was sipping my morning coffee and thinking about something I've been wondering for years and years but still I haven't understood it.

Could someone tell me why majority of humans seems to be unable to think, or why they lack common curiosity towards life and it's wonders? For example when it comes to broken links people just don't bother to check for example main page. It can't be that difficult to use backspace?

And this was just an example. In general that matter is small (and I can act like someone wise, even though solution is usually so easy) but when it comes to almost everything in this world... *sigh*.
And we're supposed to be intelligent lifeform. To be honest, most days I don't feel like it at all. In fact I feel like it very seldom. (Does anyone guess why I like my cats so much? And why I am a misanthrope?)

I just don't know why it is so hard to use your brains... I understand that everyone don't know everything (and of course it's kind of impossible), at least before someone tells things to them, but if you have to repeat simplest of things over and over again... what's the use of it?
I don't get that much perverted pleasure to be considered as all-knowing that it'd be satisfying in any way after some time. Of course I don't need to tell things or try to advice, but as I am odd and want to help if I can - especially when there's possibility that someone actually learns something new. (Anyway I'd be lousy teacher.)

Stop it Bob!

Weebl & Bob. Before clicking that... I just hope you know what happens to schoolgirls in Japanese cartoons.

Hair.

And last, but not least, nagging about hair.

I noticed few days ago that I really have to cut my hair once again as they're getting way too long (bit longer than they're in my profile pic) and my natural colour is getting too visible. Blonde hair just does not look good on me, period.

Anyway, it's kind of annoying when you have to cut your own hair. With this hair style it's relatively easy (if we don't count that 'nice' whirl I've in back of my head) just to take that machine and cut. Cumbersome part is trying to get your neck neat, and I'm pedantic when it comes to my hair. And I know it'll take from hour to hour and a half before I'm happy with my hair. In fact I'm never happy with my hair before I've dyed them. That blonde in mirror just is not me, but that dark haired person in mirror is me. Isn't it odd in a way?

In fact it'll be, once again, fun to see how much people stare me few days after this day, as it seems to me that they've problems to get that woman can have short hair (with short I mean hair lenght in the back of my head: ~1cm) so their sex cencors get messed: "Hmh?! Female build and facial features, but short hair?!". Personally I don't get why it's so odd. Is there some secret "Guide of Humanhood" which states that females got to have long hair and men short hair?

Household appliances.

I haven't used my dishwasher in about a year, and was terrified when I tested it. It works fine, so this means that I don't have to to the dishes today. Let that machine do them, that is why it came to this place.

But why the hell haven't I did that before? Maybe I am just plain stupid or something...

Ah.

1st parts of SEBE and SECE have been posted, both to States so they should be in their new homes in the beginning of next week. 1/ 3 of those exchanges finished.

I dont' know...

... but maybe my cunning plan really was great one in the end.

Net Radios

Few good ones:

Last.fm, I'm relatively new user, but this is great.
Radio Teentaal, Indian music.
Goth Metal World, name says it all.

[*insert topic here*]

- 12 kgs.

It seems that my body really needs more proteins than it needs carbohydrates, at least when it comes to weight loss without hunger etc.. (For example yesterday I ate like a horse, at least in my scale (which isn't much), mostly proteins and lost a kilo during night (From my morning weight, btw)). Though it isn't very good in a way as it affects to my sleeping.
I'm used to get tired after 12 hours awakeness, but nowadays it's at least 16 hours (which is 'normal', I do know that) and I just seem to be unable to get used to it. Other problem with that is that my normal night is ~10 hours (everything from 8-14 hours) , so... My day is 26 hours nowadays, and we do all know how well that fits to modern society....

In fact it's bit funny. I'm losing weight without actual dieting, after all those years when school doctors and my mom tried to get me lose weight. They just made few 'slight' mistakes:
1. Person under 18 years shouldn't be put on a 1200 kcal diet. Even adult shouldn't be put to that kind of diet.
2. I still wonder why no one never really doubted that I really can have some sickness which affects to my weight? Ok, once one doc put me in blood tests, but they only took thyroid gland hormone levels, blood sugar etc. I passed as healthy kid who has some kind of eating disorder. Funny part in this is... PCOs doesn't affect to those levels (To blood sugar only if you really get DM) they checked. Why the hell no one did nothing to it after that as they noticed that my weight just rose? Even when I ate normally my weight rose, which caused stress-based eating... nice merry-go-round.
3. Thanks to all those wonder diets, and insane watching over my eating, I have an eating disorder of a kind. I feel guilty because of eating, even I know that I have to eat and even I know that even in weight loss mode I need 1700 kcals/ day, if we want to calculate kcals - I don't.
4. I hope that they were just plain stupid and were unable to realize what they did to my self-esteem with all those hidden and showed doubts of my ways and commitment to lose weight. (I don't get it why they assumed that I wanted to be overweight? Most people don't want, some do, but sometimes it's not about personal choice whether you're under- or overweight.).

If this thing works and I'll be in my ideal weight some day (which is still 'slightly overweight' according to scales) I'll have my revenge. I knew what I need, but I was never allowed to eat what my body needed (and needs).

Caffeine.

Well, it seems that I'm officially caffeine/ coffee addicted. I didn't drank coffee yesterday as I hadn't slept well and my heart is very sensitive to get arhytmias (it's my stress detector), so I thought it might be better to stay away from coffee pot. (My heart had enough opinions about that lack of sleep part...) Anyway, when I woke up I had a headache. Not migraine, just normal frontal lobe headache.
I've drank mug of coffee since then and I feel almost alive. Headache is fading away, and I feel almost good.

Funny part in this is that I've drank coffee since I was a child (about 5 or something) and I never got headache when I didn't drank it, even I consumed huge amounts of coffee per day. I quitted coffee drinking when I was 19 and had 6 clean years.
Apparently I got old or my body got more sensitive, as after I got my bad habit back (I've to blame instant coffee. It's way too good.) I got addicted. But I've never had headache because of lack of caffeine - in fact lack of coffee, as tea doesn't help.

Misc.

Nah, I'm not going to PO today. I think I'll clean and organize things. I just realized that I can't take those pics I promised to *ahem* certain someone before this place looks better.

Oh, yes. I'm shallow even when it comes to my home.

Cunning plan and other things.

Well, my cunning plan worked and didn't work, but it seems that in the end it was at least relatively good plan. (OK, this was hilarious. Someone called [insert Sonnenschein's name here] just harrassed me. I was bit 'WTF?' for a second or two.)

In fact I slept only two hours last night because of him, and arguments we had yesterday. It seems that today I am at least able to sleep - which is great. As soon as I get tired.... though I should finish that first SEBE bookmark this night so I could post it and card for SECE later today.

Card making.

In fact I'm quite pleased how it turned out as I'm not very experienced. I found some hand-made paper I've done about 11 years ago and card 'base' , and it fitted perfectly to it.

Once again: it's hard to be this good. (And pics will follow later. It takes few days for them to arrive to their destinations.)

LNS.

You just got to love her service. She usually bills before sending items, but once again she offered to send bill with items I ordered (because it took 3 days before she processed my order...oy vey. ). It's nice to be trusted - and she has may have noticed that I do pay my orders fast.

There's nothing as important as stash growing.

Btw,

Laura from Passione Ricamo did something great. She republished 'Topiary Sampler' as a freebie and also 'Season Postcards' serie, which I missed when it was available for the first time.

.

Sense of doom, part n.

I talked with my ex over an hour about my relationship. Some might say that he may be bit biased with his opinions, but mostly I agree with him. It seems that I've a call to make today. And it frightens me as I really don't know what will happen during it or after it. I just hope that it makes things clearer.

At least I know that there's always someone who listens me and backs me up - no matter what I do or what happens.

...

Well, I was crazy enough and downloaded Skype -finally.

In fact I almost have a cunning plan, but have to see about that...

Misc.

I'm still waiting for my SP's information in 2005 Ornament Exchange, even though deadline of getting it was yesterday (and as organizer is in other continent, it was few hours ago). On the other hand I understand that it may take longer than estimated as there is 76 of us, and as she doesn't have internet connection at home at this moment.
But still I'd like to get it.

Anyway, I got my SEBE and SECE partner info (for the first part), and funny thing is that I'll send SEBE's first part tomorrow. In fact SECE's first part is almost done too, but I've to think how I'll finish that card.

After that I really should continue with HK.

DBF.

Darned BF could come online today, I've to talk with him as it's one of my official shocking DBF days...
Well, that is what stress does for me.

Sleeping.

Slept ~12 hours which is good, but I'm wondering one thing... why I feel like sleeping after being awake ~2 hours?

Family affairs.

My sister's latest entry was quite interesting as it crushed my theory about our father - and gave me new one.
I thought that his relationship with me is problematic because he subconciously blames me of his vasectomy, and therefore "losing his manhood" (As after my birth he had vasectomy, because three kids was enough). And now it seems that reason behind our problems is that he gave me "wrong" gender chromosome. In a way it's hilarious, but for some reason I can't laugh to it. As it's freaky. And it's scary to think that he either fears or loathes women.

...Even when they're his daughters, his own flesh and blood. Shouldn't that be against some law of nature?

I'm ashamed to admit that I'm related to that kind of person. Though he has been only my biological father (Even I've lived with him 13 years he never was my social father, sorry to say), but it's horrible to have that kind of genes in me. Even genes aren't ones to blame.

...

In the end I slept about 5 hours last night. Not good, as I don't have energy to do anything.

Ok, I've had energy to stitch, in fact it's only way to spend sleepless moments, but I'd really like to do something someday...

Quotes.

• "The wise man questions the wisdom of others because he questions his own, the foolish man because it is different from his own."
  Leo Stein

• "The beginning of wisdom is to desire it."
  Solomon Ibn Gabirol
• "Hope is like peace. It is not a gift from God. It is a gift only we can give one another."
  Elie Wiesel

Finish.

Bookmarks are almost ready. I just finished Halloween bookmark stitching wise, and I've to say that it looks good.
It's mix of four separate patterns, and I never made any actual position planning.

I've to decide still how I'll finish it eventually.

Btw.

I'm really tired for the first time in ages. Great.

Great excuses.

I don't know where she got this, but "Thanks" to Selina. Good excuses for stash collectors (though I edited this a bit) - some go with other addictions too:

• It’s a patriotic duty to support the cotton farmers, textile mills, and needlework shops.

• "Oh, it's not for me! I'm buying it for a friend!"

• It's on sale.

• It's non-fattening.

• Like dust, it's good for protecting previously empty spaces in the house.

• Because it's there.

• It's much cheaper to cover the floor with charts and kits than new carpeting.

• The devil made you do it.

• It's the only remotely artistic thing I have ever done.

• I can't live without it.

• I have new shelves for stash storage.

• It will go with some I bought last year.

• It's so pretty, and I'll use it some day.

• I want my daughter to have a proper inheritance.

• Without threads and fabric, I would have nothing to do with my needles and my hoops/frames and my scissors.

• It does not promote tooth decay.

• It calms the nerves, gratifies the soul and makes one feel good.

• If I don't buy it now, I may never see it again.

• A large stash is the sign of a creative mind.

• I owe myself a reward for that half-pound I lost last month.