26

I'd want only one thing for my birthday, even I know it's not possible now.

Right now I'd like to be under my blanket laying next to my Sonnenschein. Spend whole day just staring into his eyes.

Yes, I do miss him. In fact I miss him so dearly... He has been so like that man I fell in love with lately that I miss him even more than I should. But I'm happy that he has been more open, I know that it's hard for him. Apparently he believes nowadays that I wont go away. That means quite much to me.

I have to say that nowadays when someone says that one's not seeing one's partner in few weeks and they "just don't know how to survive" I'd like to say few words but I don't do it. They wouldn't get it anyway.
They wouldn't get that there's worse faith than love someone who live near you and is usually there. They don't understand how it feels when there's thousands of kilometers between you and your loved one, when there's whole continent between... when there's two hurted ones in it it's even harder. But, we've survived six months now. And little by little I'll believe that it's real. That he really loves me and wont go away.
And to be honest, I don't regret a day. What is few months of pain when you have possibility to be happy for the rest of your life?

But still... I want him here.