Love... like life is a bitch.

But why there is hate after love with some people? I don't hate him. I don't believe that. Hate destroys very easily.
Maybe I am naive but as far as I see it there can't be nothing worth to hate in him because I have loved him so much. And now my heart is aching because he apparently hates me... Why he does it? After all, and no matter what, these 5½ years were best in my life.

...at least I have learned something. Hopefully.

And no matter how naive I may sound but I still believe in love, I still believe in marriage. Why couldn't there be 'eternal' love and lasting marriage? At least that is my silly idealistic thought.

...maybe there is something wrong with me because I don't want to blame neither of us? He have done wrong, I have done wrong - but most fatal thing to us was mistrust. And when I told that to him - yes, it is my view, it isn't the whole truth - I was the meanest little liar in this universe. I was that cold hearted woman who never gave any tenderness to him - it was me who teach him to enjoy tenderness, at least he has said so...

HOw is it possible that every little oddity in me is now something awful and weird? Not so long time ago he loved those.

I can make only one decision... even he agreed that if I want to apply for divorce it is OK for him, it wasn't. After that he became crazy.

And made me awfully sad.