Even my relationship status is in front of law 'married' I am not married anymore. I realized that today. I don't want to be close to him anymore. Apparently he doesn't want to be close to me either so... He came back from his dads place today but he didn't go home - he went to see his grandma. Again. For some reason this is very sad situation. But it is better to feel sad now than be miserable for the rest of our lives.

I feel bad because I know that he still loves me. He is miserable because of me.

Being truthful to yourself is hard task. Even truth sets us free.