Ooops.

I have a confession to make.

Tiny and I were on a (play) date on Sunday. (Play date as he had his kids with him. *grin*)

It seems that we might actually meet him again in future when I have moved and settled down. Or then I don't understand men at all anymore... *grin*

Ooops.

Like a leaf aka. RAKed

Couple of days ago I posted a link to one HAED design to my Facebook profile and had a little discussion in the comments with Anne about it as it was in my basket at HAED, but I couldn't justify it to myself even it was -50% off.
Well, I went to bed and the next day I had an email from HAED waiting for me! I had been RAKed by Anne who bought it to me as a housewarming gift!

Said design was Randal Spangler's Sanctuary of Knowledge and you probably understand why I fell in love with it...

Yes, books. A lot of books. (And fairies, of course. Little peris flying all around...)

One "like" factor is that it has so many little details that I might actually have endurance to stitch this one day, as even HAED's site is full of beautiful designs SO many of them have ton of background stitching which would make me abandon whole design (I know they have background removal service). With my attention sp-oh a butterfly!-an it's just wise to try to only like really, really detailed BAPs.

And naturally being Insanette of Needleworks I dream of stitching this on 40 count, over one. (Mind you, this is HUGE design (625 W by 468 H) and it will be big even on that.)

One more "Must Stitch"

HAED had a Halloween sale and as I was cunningly lured to their site I had to buy two quick stitches, this being the one I WANT to stitch now:

Motherhood QS by Selina Fenech and HAED

On 40 count linen, over one, obviously. You know me.

Packing, packing, packing, laundry, laundry, laundry... in addition to running around Metropolitan area last two weeks equals one very tired /me and no stitching.

But... we are moving!

I was offered a bigger apartment in the city where I have lived most of my life so I went to check it, I accepted it, provided all needed paperwork (that only took two days) and signed the lease last week.
It's a two bedroom apartment in a relatively new apartment block in area where there seems to be a lot of young children, which means possible playmates for Tiny. And the place is nice and spacious, our bedrooms are about the size of our current living room... (bedrooms are not as big as it sounds, but our living room is small.)

Even better the company has ordered some renovations in there before we move in and we get paint for free to paint the walls.

Admittedly I am not excited about the move itself (I hate moving), but I am excited to get a new apartment with some actual space - and an elevator!

2013 CJC: Designs Chosen! (Picture heavy!)

Ladies, gentlemen and crazy stitchers, we have a list!

1. "Beach Cottage" by County Cottage Needleworks



2. "Acorns" by Little House Needleworks



3. "Comfort" by LHN



4. "Elizabeth Ann Bremer Sampler" by Beehive Needleworks



5. "Women Are Angels" by Periphaeria Designs



6. "EduCATed" by Bent Creek



7. "St. Basil's Cathedral" by Dimples Designs


(For clarity, picture has been snatched from Sewandso's site, but I host it. I just was too lazy to start taking pictures in this murky weather.)

8. "Scissors By Any Other Name" by The Cat's Whiskers Design Studio



9. "Snowman Stocking" by Bent Creek



10. "To Laugh Often" by Twisted Threads



11. "This Too Shall Pass" by My Big Toe



12. "For This Child" by My Big Toe



13. "Kisses From Heaven" by San-Man Originals



14. "Persian Proverb Sampler" by Moira Blackburn



15. "Flora McSample Heart Sampler" by Lizzie*Kate

I know I said something about small designs and all that bullcr*p, but I went with those designs that screamed most. And nicely enough four of them has either floss or fabric so kitting won't be as expensive (like it matters *grin*).

Soon this will be my stitching scenery.

If nothing goes wrong, that is.

It's raining stash, hallelujah!

It is an illness, remember.

Won some pretties at eBay...

And then noticed that my favourite DVD shopping place also carries second hand cross stitch books (and there are no shippings charges to EU)!

Then I caved in when I saw some pretty fabric at Silkweaver's Facebook sale... this time I am quite pleased with the pieces. That small one is actually exactly like the one I used for Futurecast.

And then... my 52 backordered skeins of white Sullivan's floss came!

And I may have bought few skeins of GAST for Alter Echo v.2.0 from One Star's Light... and those L*K's to justify postages... or something. *grin*

Tablecloth under all this prettiness is one I made while studying my artisan degree. It was on the table when Tiny finally had his name publishing party (I don't go to why it was just before he turned 7 months, you probably guess) and I like it too much to wash it...

Stitching goals for October

Yes, such a brave move, but it has to be done.

1. Decide on how to finish Tiny's ornament.
2. Catalog more stash.
3. Decide "2013 Crazy January Challenge" designs and make a list of needed fibers and fabrics.
4. Dye fabric and/ or flosses for "Christmas Quaker II" by Bygone Stitches.
5. Finish ornament for an exchange.
6. Stitch mother's holiday ornament (just designed it and it looks fab *grin*).

I think I might be able to do all this, and if not at least I try.

Randomness

I love our (ante- and) postnatal nurse. Her opinion was that it's the best for the child that I have decided to balance our lives by leaving Tiny's father as it obviously was what was needed.
She also considers staying at home that legally allowed three years (i.e. I can still return to my old job, they can't sack me without an extremely good reason) as a good thing and not being irrational despite the fact that it will be tight financially.

And I want a cat. Now that Mr. Pets-Belong-To-Outdoors-And-Not-With-Humans-And-Cats-Are-Dangerous-To-Babies has left the building I can't help, but wanting a new cat... Masa is still alive and well, but he has his own herd now so I wouldn't even consider taking him back.
Fun thing is that due Mr. PBTOANWHACAD not being around since last October Tiny and I were at my mom's after Tiny was born (c-section and so on). And she had four cats (now there is three). But that is why Tiny is so healthy. I am surprised that my child has no allergies (that I know of) and he is rarely sick (he has had two minor colds), but it has to be all about those cats.
And young sir loves those cats to pieces. Admittedly cats don't always enjoy his love and excitement, but still... they are good pals.

At the moment I am waiting until Tiny gets older, but who knows...

Tiny Things and CJC

Where did my little man go? He had his first (two!) teeth day before yesterday and will soon be crawling on all fours... not to mention that he wears 1-2 year old's clothes already. An average 6 month old, yes.

This morning he took his toothbrush and put it in his mouth. I just needed to move it.
And he wanted that I brushed his gums too before he let me take the brush out of his mouth... Attaboy!

2013 Crazy January Challenge

I started a list of designs to my sidebar to keep track of my own thoughts. It's not carved in stone yet, but one needs to start from somewhere.

Dreams...

are not called "dreams" for nothing.

Last night I had a dream where Tiny's dad actually wanted to meet his son and where he admitted that he misses me AND was willing to behave like every man should do: try to make amends, open up, talk and fix what is broken.

I woke up sad, because it was just a dream and because I know he is so stubborn that no matter what he won't admit that he misses me even if he does. Or that he misses his son.

And There Was an Envelope-load of SEX

One load from One Star's Light is in! PRETTY! OOOOOH!

Yes, I live a dull life. *grin*

At least one of thise Little House Needleworks' charts goes to my CJC list. Either "Acorns" or "Comfort". Or maybe both...

Christmas Quaker II - Songs of the Season

Dyes found. I got Dylon's "Flamingo Pink" and black as they didn't have turquoise and that pink is so pink that it hurts.

Options at the moment in my twisted mind are:

1. black 40 count fabric, pink floss
2. black'n'pink 40 count fabric, white floss
3. natural 40 count fabric, black'n'pink floss

Happy Dance! \o/

As unbelievable as it is we have a finish! Yes, a F-I-N-I-S-H!

• Designer: Lizzie* Kate
• Design: 1st Christmas
• Fabric: one of my own hand-dyeds, apparently32 count opalescent Jobelan(?).
• Floss: White Madeira silk, two HDF's silks.

I am not yet sure which its shape will be so I skipped confetti stitches and will stitch them when I have decided upon the shape, taking that there is room for any.

But, I think this is my FIRST cross stitch finish this year.

Yeah, that is how pathetic it has been.

Tiny and His Amazing Technicolor Dreammittens

Fall has come and Tiny needs mittens so I decided to steal borrow some yarn from my mother (same she used to knit woolly socks for Tiny) and knit tiny mittens.

Other one looks bigger as it has been tried on.
The designs and counts are completely out of my head. I just went along according to what was needed: long enough wrist to keep his wrists warm and flexibility as Mr. Tiny has big hands.

To Be Afraid

To be afraid that you are damaged for life. That you have been damaged since the day of your conception.

To fear that everyone lies to you, that everyone keeps things from you. That those who matter, or would matter, have a secret life you are not aware of.
To fear that everyone just uses you like you have been used.

To be afraid that you are too demanding, that wanting 110% trust and openness is too much, too egoistic. Being afraid of voicing your demands just that people wouldn't think you are an impossible, demanding, egoistic bitch.

To fear that all your relationships are doomed to fail. That if you don't leave him, he will leave you.

To be afraid. To be paranoid.

To fear being broken again, of losing yourself because you love someone. To fear that when you love your love is not appreciated and cherished the way it should be.

To be afraid of having to cry alone, to sleep alone, to feel joy alone. Despite of being one of two.

To fear you are not accepted as you are, with all your flaws and quirks. Not to be loved as who you are, that your stupid jokes are not understood, that the things you love the most are considered stupid and unnecessary.

To be afraid of having to live behind facades again. When it should not be important how things look like, but how they really are. To have to hide your love, happiness and life from everyone else because the one you love has something to hide from you and from someone else.

To fear being controlled. Being watched. Being blamed for what you don't do and what he does.

To be afraid of repeating your mistakes over and over again. Never learning anything, being blind.

To fear loving as it overwhelms you and blurs your sensibility. Exposes you to hurt, sorrow, pain. Takes away healthy criticism and makes you blind to everything.

To be afraid of not being praised, of not being attractive. Or losing attractiveness.

To fear of hurting your child with your choices. To fear that you are ruining his life because of what you want and decide.

To be afraid of being too afraid.

Remember Alter Echo?

That thing I stitched in Bangkok?

I have been thinking about it for quite a while... Alter Echo and what I should do with it. I have decided that I will start it over as this version of it has too heavy baggage. I just couldn't finish this version and hang it on my wall as it would always remind me of those days after my world crumbled

Alter Echo v.2.0a has, most likely, changed colour scheme, either a bit or a lot, haven't decided yet. And most likely I'll change the fabric too, or at least dye the current one after I have done some serious frogging.

Actually I have been thinking of using various colours for this. Maybe some pretty GASTs and left-over what-evers and then tea dye the fabby... though I think I want 40 count for this, and then tea, or coffee, dye the fabby to give it that aged look. Maybe even soak the floss in beverage-of-my-choice to give it some patina...

2013 Crazy January Challenge aka. "Startitis, it is a serious illness"

(© CCN)

I have found an excuse reason to start from 10 to 15 new projects in the month of January!
Country Cottage Needlework's "Beach Cottage" is surely one of them as this just strikes my fancy at the moment and the design only takes 4-5 hand-dyed flosses and some more basic DMC so this is an easy peasy el cheapo project.

Actually I already eyed few designs couple of days ago and noticed that I will have a HUGE problem... I only browsed through one magazine box and already found 15 of them - and I still have 5-6 times more. Excluding books, magazines and all digital patterns - and some designs which are in the storage room. And my own designs.
And some more on the way from One Star's Light sale... ooops.

One of the wonderful things in this challenge is that now I have a great reason to shop as I need to kit these babies up before January as I need to start all the projects in as many consecutive days as I have chosen projects.

Startitis, who needs a cure?

Commune?

We have had what-if discussions with my brother how cool it would be to live in a shared apartment, or as neighbours, and now that things turned how they did we started to talk about that again, this time we were thinking of the advantages of commune living.

My brother and his SO are planning to buy an apartment from Metropolitan area and it wouldn't be much trouble to buy a bigger one (4-5 bedrooms instead of 2-3) (and in most cases it even wouldn't make it much more expensive), sublet 2 rooms to Tiny and me and enjoy all the good sides of commune: there would always be someone to look after Tiny when I need to go somewhere (this would be lovely as I would love to study while I am at home) and when I am sick I didn't have to worry about Tiny's wellbeing.
We could share household duties, we could buy food in bulk, there would always be food even if someone was short of cash before payday and there would always be someone to talk to - and when one would want to be alone there would be one's room.

I know it would be annoying at times, I have lived in communes when I have studied, but the advantage in this would be that I know 2/3 well: my brother I have known since birth and his son last 13 years. And brother's SO seems to be a person of reason from what I have deduced from those couple of times we have met. She's shy though, but it is never a bad thing.

And I would rather pay few hundred euros to my brother as it would be cheaper to live with them than in a regular rented apartment. And no need for rent deposits which means saving anything from 0€ to ~2500€ (or rather not needing to ask deposit from social services due low income).
Also it would mean that Tiny would get his own room and I mine as at some point he needs his own space - and us both being such restless sleepers it would make us both sleep better.

It's really interesting how many oddities I have noticed in our relationship now...

He used to be very good with anniversary dates, this year he forgot our wedding anniversary, my birthday and our anniversary.

He used the marriage as an excuse, for example not to spend quality time on the sofa cuddling. "We are married!" Yeah, that has something to do with not touching each other?

I denied my sensuality and sexuality. Me. Depraved little thing started to live vanilla life 1-2 times a month. Who would have believed?

I can't remember him ever laughing at my jokes. Or actually even getting them for that matter.

I was a questionable cook because I like(d) to use other people's recipes! Oh yes. Cookbooks were the spawn of devil, or something.

Actually any my book was. "Too many of them!" Up yours.

Idiot.

September Weekend SAL: The End

Noticing that I only stitched one night whilst playing WoW and chatting I got tons done. If I had got the opportunity to stitch every night I had done two of these.

How cool is this:

A Blackwork Music Video?