Let Me Introduce You... Mrs. Wonderful!

Some of you already know it through Facebook, those of you who didn't know: Yes, you read it right! We are now officially Mr. and Mrs. Wonderful. ^^

It was a very small, but beautiful, ceremony last Friday, just the two of us, the registrar and two witnesses from the magistrate.

To the shock and awe of everyone who know me I took Husband's surname after my vows of *never* taking my husband's name... but my brain told differently.
We had discussed my surname when we got engaged and I was SO keeping my maiden name, until I noticed at work that I was continuously about >this< close to sign things with Husband's surname... and then, one day after coming home from work I told Him that it seems that I am taking His surname anyway (and it is much more convenient if we look at the bigger picture (and much more rare in here than my maiden name *grin*)).

This also leads to shocking revelation of us having been engaged to be married since 29th of March last year until last Friday, and I didn't tell you (ok, some of you did kind of knew)! Shame on me. *grin*

It's funny how I remember almost nothing about the ceremony itself, but am still aware that when the registrar asked Husband will He take me as His wedded wife He said most beautiful things ever - simple yes would have been extremely beautiful in that situation, but He took it further. I was all smiling yello, wobbling and smiling, and my answer was simply "Absolutely yes!".

Gosh, it was SO wonderful.

And for some reason it seems to me that getting married really improved our relationship in so many ways. Funny, but great - apparently there is better form of great and we just have gotten into it. Which I do not oppose at all, just keep wondering how sweet life can be sometimes.

Writer's Block: Another sleepless night

Let's say that I used to suffer from insomnia as I do no count one or two days of not being able to sleep well/ long enough as insomnia anymore.

I have always had somewhat odd sleeping rhythm, which probably runs in the family, and it took me years before I actually realised that it is not normal, or let's say preferred.

For me sleeping medication does not work how it should work so it has not been an option since the first and only time I tried such remedy: within two weeks I couldn't sleep even with the next-to-overdose dosage which made my insomnia even worse. After some time I decided to go cold turkey (even the doctor who prescribed me with them said they do not cause any side effects or any addiction - like I believed anyone?) and practically stayed awake for one week with only very short nap (we are talking anything up to 45 minutes or so here) every night before the medicine left the building.

I have "suffered" insomnia even after that, it happens to me for reason or tenth: latest periods of insomnia were when Mr. Wonderful was in Spain. Since then I have had two nights when I had difficulties to fall asleep, but those were caused by hurting ankle (I was told yesterday that it takes six weeks for it to heal properly) and overdose of paracetamol (1500mg/day whereas you are allowed to take 3000mg/day, but my body is little different..).

I don't know are they much of remedies, but what has helped me to get sleep have been the following things:

1. Black Adder, seasons I-IV
2. Rooibos
3. Yes, Minister; seasons I-III
4. Yes, Prime Minister; seasons I-II
5. The Men from the Ministry, Finnish version
6. Music

Honestly.

To certain extent insomnia is a matter of attitude and habit, in other words I have noticed it gets easier to live with the older I get. I can go to work without sleeping at all during the night and nobody notices (it's good to be naturally confused ).
The main thing with insomnia is not to stress too much about it, no matter how harsh it sounds.

Writer's Block: Kids or child-free?

1. First of all I, being blue meanie and everything, find the term "choose to have children" disturbing as whether you have children or not in the end is basically something you can not choose (as you never know are you physically able to have them even if you want them, right? Nor you can prevent yourself getting pregnant/ making someone pregnant by "accident" as that does happen - it also happens that people don't notice things early etc., you get my point).
   Personally I see children as an extremely precious gift and I wish and pray to have them.

   I realized that I would do anything to have children when I was 18 and got PCOS diagnose and the doctor basically told me that PCOS women can't get pregnant naturally, or any other way (neither of them true) - before that I had never even thought about having or not having children (like I never actually thought of getting married before I was proposed when I was 19 - my ex and I were engaged, but I never thought that I would marry him some day. I guess you could say now that it tells more than I would like to admit about my subconscious mind back then *grin*).

2. Honestly... IF you are in a relationship you do NOT decide something like that yourself. Basically such thing should, in an adult relationship, be decided as early in the relationship as possible by both parties.

   When it comes to us it was obvious for both of us from the beginning of things that we want to have children and this was therefore decided before we even got into a relationship.

Writer's Block: Raining cats or dogs?

My regular readers know it already, but I would say that I am 99,9% cat person and 0,01% dog person.

I have met some nice (and non-smelly) dogs during my life, I was especially fond of ex-husband's sister's dog: he was kind, he did not smell like so many dogs do (sorry dog people, but they do) and he was a dog-sized dog (not too small, not too big).

Dan and I watched after The Dog at one point for a week and I really enjoyed it. Though, it was rather I who watched after The Dog, took him to his walks and everything. At that point I was doing night shifts and even I was extremely annoyed with Dan not waking up in the morning (it was 9 am when I got home and he was sound asleep... even when I tried to wake him up to take The Dog out and let me sleep (note that he was not working (actually he hasn't actually worked a day in his life even now, as far as I know))) and taking The Dog out I enjoyed immensely those long morning walks with it.

But, still I am a cat person, which probably explains why I had four of them not-so-long-ago.
Why? Cats are usually very neat, relaxed and don't demand long walks three times a day even if there is the worst snow storm out there. They are also annoyingly sweet with their bouts of jumping on walls and wanting to be petted at that very moment when you have something important to do.
Cats are loyal thinkers, who don't demand too much of you (usually - and Her Highness was Siamese so she does not count) and love you in their own personal, yet devoted ways.

Life is never boring with cats in the house.

I am not a roommate type anyway so I wouldn't consider someone who doesn't like cats as a roommate. Basically my fondness of being on my own if I am not in a relationship has kept me from that problem.

When it comes to partner... Well, I admit that cats moved away when Mr. Wonderful moved here even I had swore to myself that no man comes between me and my cats... Well, basically He didn't, boys still seems to like me:

(
This was taken when I was tending the boys when my mom was at her cabin in the end of February - admittedly it was bit difficult to tend the cats properly with sprained ankle)

I wouldn't say that He doesn't like cats, He is just not used to have animals living in the house. This is, I would say, the biggest cultural difference, to this date, we have actually confronted.

Are any of you surprised when I tell that I haven't been able to sleep too well?

Good, neither am I.

Are any of you surprised that because of this I also managed to break the frame of my glasses? Yes, ouch. (Admittedly they are old: 7-8 years for all-plastic frame is quite well, I would say.)
Luckily we have super glue: it doesn't look pretty, but I am able to see before our visit to Helsinki and maybe even during the time when I am waiting for new glasses (thank G-d for el cheapo optician chains, with luck new ones are only 29€).

My mom could have said this!

"When you meet someone who can cook and do housework don't hesitate a minute: marry him!"
-- Unknown

(And I am lucky to have such a gem in my life. ^^)

Talking of housework, this ankle thing has given a completely new meaning to word accomplish: plain hoovering most of the apartment and wiping living room floor feels like a huge achievement.
And The Ankle Thing also gives a great reason to sprawl on the sofa for ages after doing something: must not strain my poor ankle too much.

Too bad I got addicted to Harry Potter books again so I have been reading the series through instead of stitching...

\o/

His plane lands on Saturday 6 am.

I just hope and pray that the current strike affecting transportation and logistics doesn't affect airports too badly...

(strangeglitter , your comment was deleted by mistake - who would have imagined that you can delete the actual comment from your inbox when trying to just remove the notification message from the inbox? O.o)

 

Writer's Block: Marital license

 

Marrige licence does indeed have an expiration date, at least in my neck of woods (4 months), whereas marriage certificate doesn't. (I am aware that this is a tomato vs. tomato thing, but still... you know that I am pedantic when I feel like it.)

Taking that we are really talking of marriage certificate, that piece of paper you are given when getting married (opposed to the licence which, at least in here, is written after non-impediment check and (in non-dominational weddings) given to the registrar (or to the couple to be given to the registrar upon marrying) - without that piece of paper you are not able to marry) my personal opinion is: absolutely not.

Despite being divorced I do firmly believe that you get married for a lifetime and if my fiance would ever suggest periodic marriage contract I would frown and run away fast. (Though this is completely theoretic as we share views about marriage.)

It is possible that that kind of contracts are suitable or at least acceptable to some people I find even thought of such a setting too stressful for my person and degrading the institution of marriage.
As I see it periodic marriage contract is basically saying that divorce is always an option and that it is likely for the marriage to end. Why work for something you can end within X months anyway? What if you are just having a bad phase in your relationship when the renewal date is and you decide not to renew your marriage even it had all the makings for a happy, lifelong committment?

Marriage does take much more than just love and in my opinion periodic marriage would just base on the idea of love and nothing else. And the difficult thing here is that love fluctuates: there are days when you really don't have that loving feeling, but after a while you can be like two newlyweds. Love is a form of energy and sometimes its batteries needs to be recharged.

I could also say that I do not believe in divorce... I am not holier than thou, I have divorced and I have never been ashamed of that (even many people still find it odd that I am "this young" and already divorced - guess how it was when I was still 25 and recent divorcee *grin*), but when I got married (at the age of 19) I was in for if for a lifetime, but being young and stupid marrying another young and stupid who was unwilling to grow up and lacked consistency there eventually was no other option for me then. It was either that or dying young out of stress. And I wanted to give my possible children a good father, not one of those I had.

So, in case it wasn't clear: I do not think that there should be expiration or renewal date in your marriage certificate.

 

Writer's Block: My word

Stephen King!

'Nuff said.

Writer's Block: Ten years to the day

 

Let's say that I don't expect anything, but I hope, wish and pray that we, Mr. Wonderful and myself, are happily married, have been blessed with children, He has a good job (or rather His own business as that is what He really wants) and live normal family life in where ever we live.

 

This is actually in some terms very current topic as we found out yesterday that my local magistrate has given us wrong information last year regarding those infamous documents.
We found it out as He called me and said He has the documents (at this point I was deliriously happy that He is finally coming home), asked me to call there and double check with the magistrate... and we found out that some incompetent dimwit hasn't told everything to us and the person I spoke yesterday thought that it is completely our fault, because we should apparently know things better than they do. (You simply can't ask the right questions if someone, a professional, does not ask those questions from you first and let you know how all eventualities affect to everything.)

And I should therefore make some phone calls today - and being the mean bitch I am I will also call another magistrate in the vicinity and ask about the same topic from them as I am not too confident about the local one giving any correct information any more... I wonder why.

ETA: I am not very surprised, though very relieved. I called the Other Magistrate (too much Harry Potter, yes) and they said that the first info we got from local magistrate was accurate, so no need for tons of other papers.

I could almost have the courage to say that He is returning home soon if I wasn't too afraid of "painting devils on walls". G-d willing He will be back soon.

2 days stitched, 19 to go

... thanks to this.

On Saturday evening I slipped on icy ground on my way from work, heard something snap in my left leg and was in tremendous pain. My co-worker called an ambulance (my first ambulance ride \o/) and I was rushed to a surgical ER close by. Preliminary diagnoses were broken ("ripped") achilles tendon or leg bone.

Hour later I was out of the hospital, with a sprained ankle, crutches, prescription for pain killers and three weeks of stitching time sick leave (paid, of course) - thank G-d I have strong bones and tendons.
The funny thing is that even it happened less than two days ago I don't need almost any pain killers and I can actually put weight on my ankle normally as long as I keep my ankle stiff and don't put the weight on my heel - otherwise all movement and weight on my ankle hurts (the injury is close to my achilles tendon based on the pain).
My old me would say something about sounding incoherent, but I know that Mr. Wonderful has been praying a lot because of my injury and I am quite prone to believe He has good relations to upstairs because the way my ankle has started healing is... not of this world.

I have once had sprained ankle before and it took several days before I was able to put weight on it and stop the pain killers (compared to today's, second day of my sick leave, "huge" dose of paracetamol: 500 mg i.e. one tablet, back then it was several times 600 mg ibuprofen). That was 20 years ago, so you could imagine that 10 year old would have started recover quicker than 30 year old... and I can tell this was worse injury than the one I had as a kid.

And anyway, anything that reduces the pain and helps rehabilitiation is good, whether it was incoherent or not. And this is good time for awkward transition to...

Madonna!

No, not *that* Madonna, but the one in the garden.

Stitching has also proved to be a great pain killer and even though I have been tediously slow (even the basic daily things take surprising amount of time with just one working leg as you have to change the way you do everything, which reduces stitching time) and had to frog over half a fruit because I had chosen wrong shade for it yesterday (I was drowsy because of the pain shock, pain killers and sleeping poorly) there is some progress! (Shocking.)

To make it fun I lack few of the colours, and most of them seem to be used on the ground and fruits (and the dress and her petticoat). Luckily 1-2-3 Stitch! does sell DMC to EU area with their regular price so my missing flosses are on their way. Yay!

There has also been one cat related accident when Masa spilled tea over the fabric... Luckily it doesn't seem to have stained the fabric as I ran to the toilet with it (ok, "ran") as soon as I could and I rinsed it.

Mirabilia's "Madonna of the Garden": mixed race child

I admit, I started the design yesterday! I am weak!

Anyway, my plan is to make the child mixed race and as I am avoiding household chores I decided to check my intended colour scheme with my designing software... Somehow it didn't work for me - the scheme, software worked well - so I tried with another one... and I do like it, though I have to check it with the floss one of these days. (Though the software has quite good DMC colour compability.)

© Mirabilia

What do you think?

I hate to say it, but I actually like mixed race baby MUCH more. (Admittedly I also tweaked the mouth a bit, the baby looked so unhappy with the original.)

I hear dishes calling me... wish me luck.

Medication through mail

It is too bad you are not sitting here on the sofa with me. If you were you could smell the divine smell of Echinacea Mixed Herbal Tea I am drinking and fondle the beauty of a Silkweaver Lugana.

But you are not here and it is all mine, MINE! *insane giggling*

Quite some time ago kill_the_onions sent me some "fun mail" inspired by our little conversation in the comment section of one of my FB status updates, and finally, after taking scenic route from Turkey to Finland the fun has arrived!

Teas are Turkish, but the card is from China, but beautiful nevertheless.

kill_the_onions is a tea afecionado, and I am becoming one, again (after few years of not being able to drink tea at all - it's odd how Mr. Wonderful affects my body) so what is better than be able to taste some tea from country far away? (It is even better because I have never been to Turkey.)

But lo and behold, there was more great mail waiting for me... Belinda asked some time ago at FB would someone like to have Mirabilia's "Madonna of the Garden" and I was first one to say yes!

I had been over the Moon just to have the design itself, but Belinda added her leftover beads, metallics and delicas and piece of 19'' x 26'' 32 count hand-dyed Lugana from Silkweaver!

Now I just need to win the lottery and quit working... well, I have great reason to start this design soon, right? I have beads, design and fabric... I just can't let them gather dust, right?
Actually my fingers itch to stitch it already, but it is half past five in the morning and I haven't slept in last... 18 hours - which is quite a lot when you have laryngitis and bronchitis and you should be resting (though it's difficult to sleep when you are coughing sticky mucus...).

(Though I have been surprisingly productive stitching wise while sick: I have very small projects I have been working on when I have felt like it.)

Once upon a time, approximately 47433600 seconds ago...

18 months ago I heard that soft, sensual voice and saw His Gorgeousness first time in person and couldn't believe that He really was here, that He really was here for little old me and meant business with everything He had said to me in His emails, texts and calls.

18 months ago we sat in the back seat of a taxi holding hands and smiling to each other, just because we were finally together.

Somehow it doesn't feel like 18 months. It feels like we had known much longer and it feels like it was last week. But the main thing, and what is most important, is that this feels good.

No, not just that... We, us, our relationship, feels better and better day by day.
(Of course no relationship is perfect because it consists of two imperfect persons, but I want to grow old and cranky with Him and tell stories to our grandkids about how it was back then when grandpa moved to Finland.)

And every day I try to remember to stop and thank G-d for listening my prayers and bringing this wonderful Man into my life. And every now and then I tell my Wonderful how blessed I am to be loved by Him.

Sometimes it really hits me how tremendously blessed I am and wonder what good I did to meet Mr. Wonderful. Whatever it was, I am deliriously happy for it.

Out of these 18 months we have been separated by a continent, or two, for over 12 months and still I haven't felt lonely for one second. I miss Him every second He is not here, but I am not alone, no matter where He is, as He is in my heart.
Admittedly I see Him everywhere, in little things, facial features of people, verbal expressions they use... all those little things remind me of Him, even they have nothing to do with Him - they just are similar, but still incomparable with His ways.

Some of you may wonder why I adress my Wonderful always with capital letter... I do it because I respect Him. There are men and then there is The Man, my Man. That capital letter defines Him and His importance to me.

I love Him. He loves me. He still calls me Angel. ^^

All is well in the world.

Writer's Block: Online relationship shopping

Ok, this is an old WB, so what?

 

 

Oh, this is just the question for me: within last 12 years I have met all my partners, and men I have had crush for, online (that makes one ex-husband (Dan), one FWB (N.), three significant (let's say Men I could have considered marrying (I actually proposed Sol back in 2005 - yes, I did. )) others (Abhi, Sol and Wolfie) and my dear common-law husband, Mr. Wonderful).

Unfortunately I can't say how it has changed the way people in general meet and form relationships, I can only tell my own experiences.

First of all it is much easier for me to talk to strangers online: I am dreadful at small talk with strangers and I actually don't like it much, even I am slowly getting better at chit-chat. It is also much easier to talk about serious issues because you get time to think what you say and how you react to what other person says to you - and I rather type than talk because I am much more eloquent in typing (and I tend to stutter occasionally when I talk).

All this typing talk also makes it possible to get to know people without knowing how they look like which enables better view of the person as whole when you see how they look.
I am also quite modest about my looks due my background (once an ugly ducking, always an ugly duckling - at least in some level) and the general beauty aspect in West, even I have been constantly told how stunning I am last years, and I rather let people know who I am, not how I look like.
Well, "of course" I use wrong tense here. Many things have changed as nowadays I really don't even want complete strangers to know how I look like or what I think of - excluding Facebook. *grin*

I would say that in certain level meeting online probably lessens the importance of looks, but being honest looks have been imporant issue for me for few years: looks tell something about person's health and lifestyle, and eyes are the mirror of the soul.

I remember when I got the first message, at that infamous dating site, from Mr. Wonderful: first thing I did, after reading His message, was to check His pictures and after that His written profile. (Truth to be told is that if I had read His profile without reading His message or seeing His gorgeousness I would probably have left His message unanswered - and life would be much different from what it is now.)
He was a good-looking man (He has since evolved to be Amazingly Gorgeous (with capital letters, yes)) and His message just made me write back - and here we are going strong, 18 ½ months after that day.

So, looks did matter, but wasn't the only thing. One of the major factors was that He was employed: I admit being nasty that way, but after Dan I simply couldn't consider man who doesn't have a job, as in my opinion man has to be The Man, not just a man, and be able to take care of his family. (Mr. Wonderful thinks the same and it pains Him not to be able to finance our little family at the moment (as He lost His job last year - which has had also positive effect in our lives though).)

In general man's financial status has never had much impact in my heart's ways: but oddly enough in post-Dan life the men in my life have been, how would I say it, financially well-to-do.

So, it is not one thing, or two things. Or one or two things which you don't agree upon. It is the bigger picture.
I found Man with intellect, good looks, strong values (even I don't agree with all of them I respect them), desire for getting married and having children, treating His Lady like the Queen and will to succeed in life. And the most amazing smile.

The thing is: eventually you are the only one who defines how finding someone works for you and what traits you emphasize in others, whether you do it on- or offline. You just need to know what you really want.

Stitchy Giveaway: And We Have A Winner!

I am SO sorry it took this long, but work has been crazy (rather it takes time for me to get used to working until 23:15 - and be at home around 1 am) and I have lacked energy big time (and I actually am dead certain that I do suffer of hypothyroidism after all, but that's for a later rant).

And the lucky winner is.... Maestro, drumroll please...

Lady Fortuna draw the winning comment and it is entry numer one

which means that Jenna was out lucky winner!

Congratulations Jenna, I hope the email has already arrived and you enjoy your newly acquired design stash (needleroll, biscornu, fob and pincushion).

And now it's laundry time. Then some stitching (mom's Valentine's Day gift (which is going to be gorgeous) - by the way, we have our 18 month anniversary then ) and enjoying time off.

Writer's Block: Random acts

 

I wouldn't call it random act of kindness, but does sending money to my Wonderful count?

I would call it regular spousal support, but He is always very thankful when I do it so it may apply as RAK, even though it is not random because it happens as long as He is not home.
And can it be categorized as RAK as He has promised to pay me back when He is able? (Though I would support Him even if He hadn't: He is my Husband (yeah, common-law, for now *grin*), He is dear to me and I have been brought up to take care of the people you love. And anyway, we have an agreement that when we have children, G-d willing, I stay home and He supports us.)

Other than that my RAK list of late is not impressive: bought a ball of yarn to my mom (it couldn't have been sold to regular customer and I got discount because of that (and additional staff discount)), gave some money for Haiti relief fund just after the earthquake, paid my regular amount to Greenpeace support...

Though, the fact remains: my acts of kindness are not random at the moment, but persistent and I would say it is actually better as it creates more positive energy to this world.

I believe that you get what you give, so in those terms I do believe in karma.

In my case inner belief of karma comes from upbringing, we have been raised to do good things to others and I have noticed that sooner or later it pays back in form or another (though I have also noticed that some people just use you shamelessly, but sooner or later they will get what they deserve).

And now, off to do more important things.

Writer's Block: A Rose by Any Other Name...aka. "Because I am tired, bored, tired and avoiding sleep

 

Story yes, interesting, I doubt.

 

Sonnenschein used to call me Snow Queen when we met - when I was still, erm, officially, happily, married.
But when I was thinking of my LJ user name it was taken so I twisted it a bit. This is why I'm something as girly as snowprincipessa. (There were thousands of reasons why I ended that marriage, but I have to admit that one of the things pushing me off of that cliff was Mr. S. - I think that I never told that to him. All the things you remember years later.)

 

If I were to choose my name now I think I would be highly inclined to consider Anyamene, just because I am huge name geek and love affects to my life deeply. Not to mention that meaning of name bears huge importance for me, and I like the sound of Anyamene.

 

(P.S. I haven't forgot, it's just insane week at work and my brains have turned to mush. Thank G-d I'm off coming Sunday...)

1999,5: Sigh, Spoof and This-And-That

Editorial note: for some odd reason my LJ client published this entry in draft state. It probably has been my mistake, but still I can't recall clicking that little Post Entry button... Regardless, the official, better version is now here.

 

Editorial note II: I know this is officially my 2000th entry, but I promise to draw the name the name of the lucky winner when I am feeling less lousy. Show some pity to sick person, please.

 

His flight departed early in the morning of 3rd of January and it feels so empty in here without Mr. Wonderful. This was a home when we left to the airport, when I came back it wasn't a home anymore, just a place. Luckily His belongings here prevent me from being completely moody.

It is great to see that the amount of His belongings here is increasing slowly (which means lots of clothes to smell! I am perverted that way. His scent soothes my nerves) - actually the sight of His clothes in the cabinet make me feel like home again. To be completely honest that is the only thing that makes me feel at home at all at the moment. It's ridiculous how different everything is when He is not here, even the light is of different shade (more blue, when He is at home it's redder).

And next time He arrives He is planning to bring as much as He possibly can as that will be The Day™.

We had a wonderful holiday season together and those 11 days passed too quickly.

He arrived on the most beautiful winter evening, all the trees were covered with snow, the weather was freezing and it was snowing lightly. And He left again on the most beautiful winter's morning with exactly the same weather.
Upon His arrival He said that Finland welcomed Him home with the beautiful weather, and when we were driving to the airport I was thinking that Finland was saying Bye bye, come back soon to Him.

I am so confused about His absence that I don't really know what to say even there is so much to blog about. Which probably means that I am quite a sad case as I knew that He would travel again on 3rd.

I have been so confused that I haven't had enough words to write about the things I want to write about.

 

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." (Mahatma Gandhi)

Those of you who haven't been in complete media blackout within last month know about the attack on NWA flight 253 on Christmas Day and the consequences it has had.

Less surprisingly we followed the news about the incident very closely for various reasons. Of course we were curious because Mr. Wonderful is Nigerian citizen (dual citizenships are wonderfully confusing to many ("But didn't you just say he is British?")) and there has been no records whatsoever of international terrorism (islamic or any other kind, just internal issues) in Nigeria (which is basically half muslim, half Christian and healthy serving of indigenous people to spice things up country), and we are both also quite critical about the way certain countries handle and publicize certain, even though extremely unfortunate and cowardly, events.
Therefore I found this clip extremely entertaining - and for some reason Hitler talking about how he wants a Nigerian wife makes it hilarious (even though Hitler as a person was or is never a laughing matter).

Nigeria is a troubled country, but to judge whole country because of one idiot who got radicalized abroad (maybe in UK, as he had to have some reason to go to Yemen where he was supposedly trained) is in my less humble opinion... stupid.

 

Otherwise...

Mr. Wonderful is in sunny Lagos at the moment seeing family after few years and getting some things He left there last time - next time we hopefully travel together.

And I am sick again.

But, and this is a BIG but(t har har): I do not, I repeat, I do not have sinusitis (though I have to admit that I have already found a positive side of sinusitis: your nose is not running like Niagara. I had already forgot how much fun it is to have a regular cold without blocked sinuses... )! This is apprently thanks to my Neti which I have started to use again only few days before getting the virus.
The Secret of it all seems to be the salt used: I started with regular salt and it caused me migraines. Hence I hid the Neti to toilet cabinet, until I dug it out again and decided to try it with Himalayan salt which is not refined like the regular table salt (and which can be found from local "Eco" store only 12€/ kilo).

There has been two noticeable advantages from it within this short period: I smell things better (which is great as I can still smell my Wonderful's scent when I come home, whereas I couldn't before I started rinsing) and I am on better mood. Oxygen is a funny thing.

And I miss my Darling. Funnily enough nowadays I still feel like He was here close to me even when He isn't - but still even feeling close to Him at all times does not take away the devastating emptiness when He is not here.

Luckily He calls me more often now that I am sick. ^^ (I called Him today, a short 60 - 90 second call, and it was like three euros! O.o So, I rather let Him call me, anyway He has always been better caller than I am.) And when it comes to phone calls I find it very interesting that when He calls from Nigeria the quality of the signal is much, much better than from Spain. Though that is not the only thing that is far worse in Spain than in Nigeria, I can tell that based on personal experience.

1999: Exotism?

There is certain form of prejudice, which makes me annoyed quite... well, too often.

For some reason (too) many people seem to think that someone who seems to date exclusively out of their own ethnicity/ culture is purposely looking for someone "exotic" and disregard the possibility that one can be interested about everything else but person's ethnicity or culture of origin. (Like, even it is a shocking idea, their personality and core values.)

And why aren't they assuming such things (purposely looking for....) when someone is dating exclusively their own ethnicity/ culture?

As an example: when I dated exclusively Finns, no one ever asked why I do it or assumed anything based on it. It was obviously supposed that I would, being a Finn myself, date men of Finnish origin. And coming to think of it, it is a disturbing thought. (Though I find many things disturbing - and my regular readers know that people assuming things is one of my thousands of pet peeves.)
Whereas when dating men of non-Finnish origin I have encountered certain assumption of exotism.

Though, the assumption of exotism is yet another proof that people are basically eerily similar in their ways to think: coming from all ethnicities, genders, cultures etc. it could be considered as a refreshing experience - as long as you keep the whole issue out of your personal life.

I mostly encountered following during the single period between 2006 - 2008, mainly because that was the longest period I have ever been without relationship in my adult life: many men seemed to have this urge to know had a woman they found attractive ever been with a man of enquirer's ethnicity - and I found it extremely annoying. Why it would matter had I or had I not? There is no way to know about how it would be with person X if you have dated person Y even if they were of same ethnicity and/or culture so why would it matter? Or is this just all about I-want-to-be-the-first-man-of-X-in-your-life syndrome? (One of the many reasons why I love Mr. Wonderful was that He never asked such a thing - but He is a practical man: he doesn't care about who I have been with before Him, He just wants to be the last man in my life (yet another thing we have in common). )

Interestingly enough this was mostly a phenomenon of dating sites, regardless, or because of it, my profiles always stating that I was open for contact regardless person's ethnicity.
Admittedly during that time I had a profile at one site which was more or less focused on people who were looking for interracial relationship... maybe it fooled some to assume things about my preferences even though my only reason to register there, or any other dating site, was to expand my search as I was very aware that it's more likely for me to find a life partner, my future Husband, from somewhere else than Finland.
This was as much statistical as it was (and is) a cultural issue - being brought up outside my "native" culture made me a dating outcast in this homogenous society.

But I digress.

Those who have read my blog are aware of the issues I have had with my father regarding his obvious assumption of my exotistic character and/or his obvious issues with people of any other ethnicity/ culture than his... nothing more to say about him, though I am not eagerly waiting for his comments about Mr. Wonderful's ethnicity/ culture/ etc. and tons of more assumptions of me being with Mr. Wonderful because [add bazillion stereotypes here], not because I actually love and respect my Man as a person.

Interestingly enough many, if not all of them, men I have been in a relationship with since I broke up with Dan (now isn't that a civilized way to say after our separation and divorce? *g*) have considered me "exotic" because of my fair skin, blue eyes and ethnicity.
And surprisingly it has never bothered me to be the the subject of exotism, as long as it has been positive - but I also know that my looks, exotic or not, hasn't been the main factor of intrest in me, just an added bonus.

Slightly Off-Topic

This all actually reminds me of an interesting visit to hairdresser earlier this month: I was having having my hair cut and chatting with the hairdresser when Mr. Wonderful called me. We happily chatted for a while on the phone and after the call hairdresser's first comment was "Oh, is he ENGLISH?!" with such a tone that you could imagine that she had been about ten years younger and had just been asked out by Brad Pitt or whoever is hot at the moment. A school example of real exotism.
Her tone soon changed after she asked could she see His picture, which I showed because I have His picture as my cell wallpaper and even we had been talking about me and Him before that the topic somehow changed after that... Basically I can't understand why. Maybe she was so awed because of my Wonderful's gorgeousness (I know I would have been, but I guess I am kind of biased).

(If I was mean I would assume it was his ethnicity that made her silent. (For those of you who wonder about the whole ethnicity of an Englishman thing, He is black Brit, whereas people often seem to assume (in these latitudes) that English people are all fair to the level of paleness and no true Englishman/ Finn/ you-name-it can be any darker than piece of A4, regardless the history of the world and people's tendency to immigrate.))

But still, in general I am not saying that there weren't many, many people who simply don't give rat's a** about who someone is involved with and many, many people who don't give that same part of a rodent about someone's origins.

1998: Giveaway reminder, Very Good Things and stuff

First I would like to remind all my stitchy friends about the AMAZING giveaway here at my little blog.

Very Good Things

As some of you may have noticed I have been celebrating certain event in near future at Facebook and also in form of a little ticker on top of my blog...

We found a way to get reasonably priced tickets for Mr. Wonderful (as for some funny reason tickets are cheaper when purchased from here - of course purchasing them online always helps) and... He is coming home for the holidays!

Though the bad news is that he has to return Spain in January to wait for The Papers. Gah. And from there He travels to Nigeria for a while, luckily His brother arranges the tickets for Him.
Which is good news, and in the end we pay for all the plane tickets (Spain-Finland-Spain, Spain-Nigeria-Spain) 80€ which is very good news. (Rough estimation of the whole cost, had we paid them ourselves, is appr. 1100€ ($1,621)...)

Knowing that He is coming home has made me go ga-ga. Had I the money I would redecorate whole apartment for holidays, but I guess it's lucky that I don't have the money, so I have just bought little things... like gorgeous satin bedsheets.

But I am waiting to cook Him all the Finnish Yule specialties and I guess we will have more food than we need when I am done.

Dear Santa

I have been a good girl (ermm... well, relatively) and all I want for Yule is my Wonderful and this:

All I can say is:

I got curious and just checked that the design, accessory pack and postages would be only 45.5€! I may be tempted... even more if I get more money on 15th than I anticipated (I will get rest of my holiday pay (actually rest of the payment for returning from your yearly holiday - funny term, and thought) in addition to my wage) - but that would mean getting 1300€ (because there are bills to pay and stuff) and I really don't think it will happen (I am paid twice a month, which makes it highly unlikely to get such sum after taxes even though I get rest of my holiday pay).

Spain is not all THAT bad

After everything nasty I may have said or thought about Spanish system I wish to voice out that there is at least one good thing in there (in addition to my Wonderful): money transfers through bank from .es to .fi are much faster than from .fi to .es - though it is also more expensive in there.

Basically money transfers within EU should cost only as much as they would cost within the country of origin because, like people and things, money should be able to move freely within Union area. BUT when I make EU transfer at bank counter it is 30 cents and when the same thing is done in Spain it's 3 € - admittedly it is also faster, though I was just thinking that transfers to Spain may take three days (instead of appr. 1 from there to here) because Spanish banks want to make money with the interest as it is stated that EU transfers can, but should not exceed (otherwise one is applicable for some kind of refund, afaik), take as long as three days.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that local banks wouldn't do the same thing, but obviously they like to play that trick with local transfers: I noticed one day that even my pay came ~00:45 and all the bills which were due that day were taken from my account, but still showed in my "Confirmed Future Payments" until 8 am when bank day started.
And transfers between banks (companies, not locations) take 1-2 days even though the payments could be made instantly with modern technology.
But then, I don't pay much service fees so I don't mind that too much. As long as I get my money.

But, now I have to head to get our satin sheets from the post office. See you later. ^^